~* Hell Froze Over *~

My Restless Heart -- I Mean Hair

2012-01-06T08:26:00.001+08:00

Going to a salon you or your friends have never tried (however known) can be quite scary. Yeah, I learned that yesterday.

To avoid the waiting lines at Bench Fix, I impulsively ventured to go to Regine's, having no idea what to expect from there.

But it was still with mild alarm that I realize that the woman shampooing me was not the usual my-age-shampoo-girl. She was older, like 40's. Okaaay so I started bracing myself for whoever was gonna cut my hair.

Seated on the chair, I looked in horror when another "nanay" type was pushing a cubby going to where I was seated. What even puzzled me was the big bag in the cubby. I was used to parlor cubbies to have trays for the scissors and stuff, not an overnight bag. And her first question made me panic a little,"Anong hairstyle mo? Bob cut?" which is something I've been having as a little kid. Which I absolutely did NOT want to have right now. So I tried to explain.

"Gusto ko po ung hindi mashdo maikli pero hndi conventional, ung hindi pantay pantay.... Ung parang korean." I was avoiding the use of the word "Layered" because I've been having that for a couple of years now. And so she said,

"Ah, so i-le-layered ko lng ung hair mo, pra mgka-body."

I was thinking, oh no. Layered nnmn ba style ko? So I said," Opo, pro hndi pantay." Then she proceeded to chop off my hair. I seriously doubted if she got what I meant, and I was honestly starting to think how much it would cost me to have another haircut in another salon, when I noticed that despite the seemingly haphazard way of chopping my hair off, it was actually turning out different from my usual layered looks. So I told her to leave one side long. I did this with Ystilo and the stylist said it won't look good. This time, nanay simply asked," San side mo gusto?" then I started to smile.

After the blow-dry and the finishing touches, the manangs and nanays there were staring at me like I was some crazy girl, but they did say it was nice. In the end, my nanay stylist actually GOT what I wanted probably because she simply DID what I wanted. Thanks, nanay. Other stylists have a mind of their own and would not heed to your request. And ironically, this is my most asymmetric hairstyle so far, done in the most unlikely type of salon by the most motherly stylist I have ever had. EPIC WIN.

Oh. And the best part:
Receptionist to my nanay stylist: "Ate, si mam kasunod ha." (points to the client after me)
My nanay stylist: "Cge. Ano, gusto ba nya ganituhin ko din cya?" (gesturing to my hurrdo)
Receptionist: (Surprised) "Naku hindi hindi. Conventional lang knya, hindi cya creation."

CREATION?! Haha!

2011: The Bipolar Year

2012-01-04T12:16:00.002+08:00

From being buried deep into corporate-IT-world-politics to being isolated at home mommyhooding to being an OFW's wife.

From being "I am a document specialist and I have no life" to regaining my passion for dancing and being part of a dance studio.

From finding Twitter and FB a burden, to clinging onto them for dear life, as they are my only connection to the outside world.

From losing my mood to blog, to blogging more than 10 entries in a month (but due to my busy schedule, it hasn't happened again).

From changing my wardrobe one size bigger to changing back to my previous pre-wedding clothes.

From someone who can't get out of the house, to 7 days of loitering and mall-hopping in a foreign place.

From sleeping in a queen sized bed to sleeping in a playpen.

From dealing with loads of documents and files, to dealing with loads of laundry.

From reading a book in a day, to not even having the chance to open the plastic cover after months of buying one. (I'm sorry, Dan Brown. I'll get to read you someday. Just stay snug and sealed for the meantime.)

From moving in a corporate world, to drowning into mommy-world, to finding my own world.

Me as a career mom, Me as a mom, Me as ME.

Life Unexpected

2011-11-19T01:29:00.001+08:00

This day was a day of unexpected happenings. Unexpected errands, unexpected events, unexpected dinner date, unexpected reasons to smile. Some created bad vibes but I'd like to focus on the good ones instead.

Spontaneity is one thing I couldn't afford, because of the people I have to answer to (a.k.a. my parents and my son). I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to experience that tonight, despite what I would have thought was a setback. It was fun to be free for a couple of hours, having ME time and shopping for myself (which I seldom do -- yes, for real) then having dinner and catching up with a dear girlfriend, reminiscing and talking about the past and the present, like two highschool girls on a slumber party. A very interesting and juicy slumber party. LOL.

Thank God for little reasons to smile at the end of the day.

Now I just have to find a way to sleep, after having a double trouble dose of caffeine courtesy of Serenitea's Chocolate Milk Tea drink.

Passion: The thin line between MAKE or BREAK

2011-11-17T19:13:00.001+08:00

It is sometimes ironic that the very thing that could make you might also be the Achilles heel that could break you.

Passion in itself, IMO, is neither good nor bad. It is simply the presence of a strong emotion, desire, determination or drive. It is the "For what?", "With what?" and "Then what?" that determines its fate.

Passion for what? That's the premise. It could be for family and loved ones. It could be for a special someone. It could be for a certain skill, or a certain cause. It could be for a job or a dream or an ambition. With what? What do you do about it? I guess this is where the battle of good and evil starts. Do you express your passion through hard work or through cheating? (Do you work hard to cheat just to succeed?) Do you show it through caring or hurting? (Do you care so much that you would hurt another?) Classic and basic: Is is good or bad? Okay, maybe with some gray areas. Lastly, then what? Consequences. What happens next? Is it good or bad for you in the long run? Is it good or bad for the people around you? Again, classic and basic: it good or bad -- period?

The end does not always justify the means. The consequences, however good, does not cancel the wrong decisions made in order to achieve it. Sometimes things work out for the better, some for the worse. Sometimes you have to deal but all the time you have to kneel.

In the throes of fiery passion, when your heart and mind is consumed with loathing and hatred, logical thinking is quite understandably not (yet) an option. But once the flames die down and you find yourself just looking at the ashes, think -- or try to think -- if the consequences are worth it.

Passion is strong. It could make the impossible possible, the unreachable within arm's length, the dreams into reality. Passion is what drives us, what keeps us going, and what makes our lives worthwhile. However, passion for the wrong reasons do not lead to something good. Passion for the right reasons, on the other hand, however imperfect and improbable they may be, has a good chance of working out. Eventually.

Keep it in check. :)

Unpretty

2011-11-01T02:31:00.001+08:00

"U know that time when you don't feel pretty, ur face is breaking out, whatever u wear doesn't feel comfy, ur hair has a mind of its own, and your confidence is in an all time low? This is one of those times you need a partner to assure you that you're still pretty, ur hair is fine, u look good and that most of all, you are loved." -- FB Stat Unica Ivah, October 31, 2011

And no, this has nothing to do with an ugly Halloween costume. This is unfortunately real. Bright side -- I have the "Umph" to write even at 1:41am. Down side -- this is real. Haha.

Well I guess we all go through a time when nothing feels happy-yippie-yehey. I am in one. I've been having acidic attacks all week. Me time cancelled. Face breaking out, screaming for a facial. Clothes don't feel right --too hot, too loose, too bare, too casual, too dressy etc. Hair having a lockout, just like the NBA. Confidence tipping low on the scale, together with happy juice, good vibes and positive energy probably because of things happening at the same time -- and they're not exactly good ones. The best I could do is to keep myself busy so I won't feel the funk. Well, it's actually quite effortless since I AM busy especially with major decisions that have to be made soon. The point being, despite being naturally busy, I feel the funk. Not all the time, not every second, but it pops up every time my mind tries to relax. It's this sad, anxious, heavy gut feeling I hate having, which may be the reason why nothing feels right on the outside as well.

I guess what I need, aside from a damn good time with my crazy friends, is the assurance that things are okay and that things are gonna be okay. The assurance of being pretty is primarily just a superficial representation of the need of a support system, a security blanket or an extra padlock to make me feel safe. Yup, even the woman behind the successful man need assurance from time to time too.

And, as I tweeted, it is also amazing how a simple text from an old friend can make me feel better. Just because he cared enough to say good night and let me know he read my stat. I guess you really get to appreciate those unexpected little things especially when the expected things don't happen.

Looking forward to a crazy movie date with friends (after years of not having one). Hoping I would feel "prettier" by then.

Who Am I?

2011-10-05T12:38:00.003+08:00

Who am I?

Let me start by defining who I am NOT.

I am not Superwoman. I get tired, stressed and cranky at the end of the day because I cannot always handle physical and mental stress perfectly. I cannot save the world, neither can I change it.
I am not Flash. I cannot move at lightning speed. I cannot run from one place to another in a matter of seconds.
I am not Merlin -- or a female version of him. I cannot predict what will happen and prevent it from happening.
I am not Harry Potter -- err -- Hermione, that is. Aside from the fact that I am not that smart, I do not have spells and potions and curses to use to make everything alright.
I am not psychic. I want to be, and I think I have the potential to develop my mind's sensitivity to reach another level but as of now, no, I cannot read everyone's minds. Ergo, I cannot please everybody.
I am not a hermit. I cannot stay cooped up in a certain place without any contact with the outside world. Well, except if it is in Calaguas Island or somewhere exotic -- but that's a different story.

Having established my boundaries as a normal person, maybe I can define who I am. In a nutshell.

I am a woman trying to find her place in the sun. I am moving in a new world, one that is unfortunately ruled by old school movers and shakers. I have left a decade-long life to venture into a new one and I am learning a lot, enjoying a lot, and am grateful -- a lot too. However, I am also stumbling a lot, falling a lot, and doubting a lot. Doubting whether I'll be good enough, efficient enough, sane enough.
I am a woman who is also trying to find herself. After a decade of being a yuppie, I am no longer one. So what do I want to do and who do I want to be?
I am a new mother. Yes, 19 months is fairly new. I am a mother, but that is not the be all and end all of my existence. The old school point of view dictates that a mother has to give up everything, including her identity, her whole being, to raise her child. I beg to disagree. A mother does not need to lose her identity in order to raise her child. How can someone who does not even know herself succeed in raising a child to be a whole person? Too much of anything is still not a good thing. I believe that a mother has to balance everything -- time for child, family, and herself -- in order to have a good relationship with the people around her.

So, who am I?

I'm still finding out. I'll let you know.

Isang Bayaran....

2011-08-09T23:49:00.001+08:00

"Binabayaran lang naman tayo para sa oras natin, hindi sa kung ano talaga ang kaya nating gawin."

Ganyan daw ang corporate life. Sabi ko, "Sheeet, oo nga ano?!?" Narealize ko na tama, no matter what you do, swelduhan ka eh. Fixed ang bayad sayo, pwera nlng pag mag-overtime ka. Parang kahit na sobrang magpaka-bibo hotdog ka ngyong linggong ito, at sobrang magJuanTamad-tamaran ka sa susunod na linggo, ang ending eh pareho pa rin ang sweldo mo sa kinsenas at katapusan.

Nagbilang ako bigla: almost 9 years pla ako sa corporate world. Konti nlng, isang dekada na. No wonder nagulat ako sa panibagong perspective na ito. May point nga. Kaya pala may iba na mas gugustuhin ung commission basis na type of work kasi yun ang literal na "earnings" -- you earn what you work for. Directly proportional cya. Ang downside lng dito is the unstability of the income because it is dependent on your performance. Palong-palo ka ng bongga dahil sinwerte ka sa clients and/or na-meet mo quota etc pero pag nataon na may calamity or unforeseen circumstance na makaka-hinder sa trabaho mo, wala din nmn kita.

Which is why I really admire the people in that field of work. I should know, my mom is in one. Alam kong sila palagi ung pressured sa sarili nila kasi dependent yung income sa performance. True success in that kind of business lies in the fact that you consider yourself as your biggest competitor. Kasi if you consider yourself as your biggest competitor, you will never be complacent. Walang salitang "petiks". Lagi mo pagbubutihan. And this translates to income.

Kudos to those people who thrive in these kinds of challenges. Mabuhay kayo. Hndi man ako para jan, alam ko ang hirap ng ganyang klaseng trabaho. I guess it just so happened na nakagisnan ko at malamang mas ggustuhin ko pa rin maging isang "bayarang" kinsenas-katapusan. :)

When Nothing Feels Right, Look At The Back of the Closet

2011-07-28T20:49:00.000+08:00

As I was dressing up to go out, nothin I wore felt right. Coz everything was in the laundry. Just when I was about to wear blahblah, I saw my old favorite baby tee which I stuffed at the back of my closet (yeah yeah coz it didn't fit me anymore lol). I last used it around 2007, I think. Well, I couldn't resist trying it on. And lo and behold, it fit!! Weeeeee!!!

Well, such is life. There will be times when nothing feels right and you just wanna give up and stare at the ceiling. But maybe we just have to look elsewhere, even in unlikely places, coz we'll never know where we might find an old stash of positive vibes. Maybe someone just might say or do something to make you smile. Or you'll come across something to remind you of reasons to smile. Or you'll realize one of your reasons for smiling is just there, you just have to "see". :))

Up, Up, and Away...Literally

2011-07-18T08:33:00.000+08:00

Just for the uniqueness of it, I decided to write a blog from the plane, chronicling my solo flight to Singapore. Of course this would be posted later at the hotel, when I get wifi.

I actually thought that flying solo would be a drag, and that I would be bored and uncomfortable. My previous trips always had fun companions, and there were always things to talk about and stuff to do and pictures to take until we eventually fall asleep. But what do I do when I’m alone? I can’t talk to myself, I definitely can’t take pictures of myself nor could I wiggle around and do whatever. What to do?

Luckily I found out (surprisingly) that I do well alone, despite being a girl (haha I look like one, anyway). I actually enjoyed people watching, something I used to do a lot during my college days. I checked out the shops in the airport (thank goodness NAIA 3 was nice and new). I grabbed a bite alone (thank you Mr. Donut) – something I don’t normally do (I could never get used to eating alone, dunno why). Thanks to free wifi I enjoyed browsing a bit and checking into foursquare and FB. And Twittering a bit too.

Well there was this incident with the immigration that I was particularly not prepared for. The grouchy 40-ish male officer seemed to question why I was going to SG and was asking for proof of my husband’s employment there. And he asked a lot of roundabout questions. Well I was kinda taken aback by it all and I may have not made sense at a certain point but I just gritted my teeth, smiled sweetly and tried to explain as best I can. He eventually stamped my passport. So I muttered a sweet, poison-laced “Thank you”, got my documents, my handcarried luggage and walked inside…. All the while running through the list of profanities in my head.

But all’s well, I’m in the plane high up in the air in one piece. I don’t give a shit what that menopausal (yup he's a guy i know) immigration officer was thinking anymore. I should have remembered that they were strict with women flying alone. Whatever. Times like that I wish I were a guy. LOL.

It’s also my first time to use the loo in an airplane. Heck, it’s my first time to use any loo that wasn’t permanently strapped to the ground. It was kinda weird fixing your pants while being tossed by slight turbulence. Ano ‘to, Maynilad diggings? Butas butas ang daan?

The next test for me is finding my way in Changi airport. That and running one last errand: Buying booze from Duty Free for my friends (they’re priced double outside the airport). I asked Jon what exactly do I buy? He answered, “Absolut vodka, tapos… basta un!” I was like, whaaaaat?! Anong basta? So may this serve as a disclaimer that if I buy the wrong type of booze, guys, it’s because you didn’t tell me what to buy! LOL!

Ooops we’re landing in a bit. In that final descent thing that resembles a downward Ferris Wheel.

Ciaoo!

Flying Solo...

2011-07-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be my first time to fly alone. I hope I find my way through the airport. I've been to NAIA 3 before but it was still newly opened at that time (back in January 2009) and there were not much shops -- not much anything, actually, to see. And I remember we had to keep going back and forth to pay this and fill this up and whatnot. So I hope I don't get lost there. Hmmm.. Magnet activated. I shall attract good vibes and shall not be hesitant to ask for directions. And I wish to attract people who give clear directions too. LOL.

Any prior excitement re this trip is somehow dampened by my separation anxiety (see my other blog here) from my son. I feel sad leaving him for a week. But I feel extremely blessed that my parents are there to take turns taking care of him. And I am also happy to see my husband, of course, and to be with our friends there, and see the sights, for a change.

As my friend told me, "Mag bonggang me time ka dun."
I will. :)

Peel off the Label

2011-07-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

After blogging about having nothing interesting to write about, I had an epiphany. Interesting thoughts shared with my close friend Jen's via her Facebook status:

"Thanks, luv Ü I am blessed that the people who matter to me have never made me feel that I am less of a person just because I'm single. You know I would rather shoot myself than go into a relationship simply for the label or "bragging rights"" -- Jen

"Some relationships don't even need labels. *wink* And besides, relationship statuses DO NOT make a person. It's who YOU are (to the people who matter) that defines you. Regardless of being single, in a normal or complicated relationship." -- Ivah

For my beautiful friend and for whoever can relate to this: let me reiterate that it's who YOU are that should define you. You need not declare any status -- they are merely labels of a certain fact of your life that should just be optionally known. You can have a real relationship even without defining or declaring it. It's between you and the other person. Peel off the label and what's left is what counts.

I have to admit seeing the relationship statuses of other people may be interesting, but no one has the right to make you feel you are "less of a person" just because of you are single. What, a girl can't be complete without a guy? HELL NO. *bitchy side resurfaces* Okay okay, same goes for guys too.

There shouldn't be any pressure getting into a relationship. No pressure declaring it either. And if it's for you, then it will happen no matter what. Regardless of day and age.

Kudos to whatever status you may have -- as long as it's your choice.

No Mood No Write

2011-07-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

I have writer's block. As Bianca Gonzalez tweeted earlier today, she salutes journalists who have deadlines with their articles, because she can't always work on a deadline. If it's too distracting, she can't write. Ditto here. I can't just force myself to write when I don't feel like it.

Which is why I'm doing a somewhat paradoxial act of writing about my own writer's block. For a change, maybe I should express why I am not in the mood to write by writing about it. Go figure.

No time. I've been busy mommyhooding that I don't have time to write. I realized that I was able to write the past couple of months because my dad was often there to help me out with EJ since it was summer vacation (he's a teacher). But now, as we speak, a timer is ticking and anytime soon, wowo would "return" my son to me. Tik tok.

No mood. Probably related to previous reason. If I have no time to write, then I would also have no time to be in a mood for it. Except if I have an extreme emotion, which brings me to the next reason --

No extreme emotion. I'm steady. Most of the time. My recent extreme emotions I'm able to let it out in another way. Besides, not all extreme emotions are publishable. Haha.

No interesting topic around me. Why? Because I'm just in the house, damnit. I can't even watch my own channels on cable. It's always tuned to a) Baby TV b) Disney Junior (formerly Playhouse Disney, btw) c) Disney Channel d) Nickolodeon (very seldom). So there are no issues to talk about because I'm shut-out from the world. Except for Facebook and Twitter.

Facebook & Twitter. I have to admit, some of my short-term rants are already either in Facebook and/or Twitter. Better to let it out as status updates than spend time (which I hardly have) in front of the laptop typing fast about it.

But I miss blogging. I miss being reflective. I miss being bitchy and cynical. I miss being expressive. I miss having bursting thoughts and emotions I hardly know where to start. I miss that "can't wait to blog about it" feeling. I miss having uncluttered thoughts. I miss writing from the heart.

I'll get you back. Just you wait.

This is ME -- Unica Ivah

My Life is a Fishbowl. And I am the Fish.

2011-07-03T00:06:00.000+08:00

Such is my life. In a fishbowl where I am the fish and everybody stares at me. I can only hide for a short time in that small castle someone placed in the middle. Wait a minute. Have I not been to the ocean? Why was I yanked from there? Who the heck scooped me up and plopped me here, in the middle of watchful eyes?

I shun the light, but it follows me everywhere. But then again, my "everywhere" ain't all that big. I'm just in a fishbowl, remember? Tsktsk. Or should I say *blop*blop* (water bubbles).

Cliffnotes Version: A logical fallacy is forcing me to conform to a stereotypical (idealistic) image that is molded from the past. Ergo, the watchfulness. Ergo, the desire for paradigm shift. Change of water. Change of aquarium. Back to the ocean.

Kudos to Meralco Alabang Service Center

2011-06-29T13:31:00.003+08:00

Yup, I never thought I'd see the day that I would actually use that blog title. But I want to give credit where credit is due. Thank you to Mr. Palma and his crew for arriving within an hour of our SOS call.

Just wanna share this experience in the hopes that somehow it could save someone from the hassle of re-wiring a whole house.

For about 2 weeks now, we have been noticing fluctuations in our electricity. At first it was just the lights, flickering a bit, then everything's normal again. Once a day probably, just negligible. But the past couple of days, we were noticing even the fans and the aircons were being affected by the fluctuation, and we were getting concerned about the other appliances too. Then this morning, as mom was about to leave for work, the electricity seemed to slowly shut down until it turned off. Then went on again. So my mom went berserk and was bugging me to call Meralco. I did and they said someone would be over within 2-4hrs.

Thank goodness they got here within the hour. That was fast!! The crew immediately opened the electric meter (kuntador) and a burnt smell filled the air. The right half of the inside was scorched and brittle and the wire was a bit burnt. This picture is what's left of the right panel of the meter. The rest of the pieces I think disintegrated.

They had to re-check and make sure the wire wasn't burned on the inside. If it was, then we have to call an electrician and re-wire the whole house. That is one epic hassle especially with a baby present in the household. We were lucky indeed. A few more hours probably would have consumed the wire. The leadman Mr. Palma said we should've called immediately after we noticed frequent fluctuations.

So I'm sharing this now because if I was able to read something like this before, I would have acted much sooner.

So remember. If your lights start to flicker, before thinking of corpses appearing behind you reflected through mirrors, remember you are NOT in a horror movie. Grab your phone and call Meralco instead. Better be safe than sorry.

And thank God for protecting us from harm.

YOU: Beta Version 2.0

2011-06-27T18:20:00.000+08:00

"It's better to be yourself, than to try to be some version of what you think the other person wants." -- @ihatequotes

No sense pretending someone you're not. It's one thing to change for the better, it's another to force yourself to live up to someone else's expectation knowing that you can't keep it up for the long term.

Beta versions are trial versions, early releases that have a lot of bugs and issues. An early release of another version of you have to undergo a trial stage where you have to determine if you wanna go through with it or undo and shelf the idea.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for self-improvement and embracing change. We are not perfect, and in whatever kind of relationship -- whether business, platonic and especially otherwise -- there will always be adjustments and sacrifices and compromise, one on top of the other. Actually, there is probably a very thin line between adjustment/compromise and pretension and it's really up to you to figure out which is which.

I guess it boils down to one thing: Are you willing to change, to adjust? Are you willing to compromise? Or are you merely going through the motions to avoid further conflict and issues?

If your self-improvement comes from within, your own initiative and your own desire, then go for it. Do it for yourself first and foremost, then do it for others. That way, if in case it goes unappreciated by the others, at least you know you did it for yourself too. (If you don't appreciate your own effort, go see a shrink.)

But if the changes you're struggling to go through seem to be a burden to you, or you seem to always *want to* have a relapse, then think about it. Is this really what you want? Can you compromise something so this can be what you want? If you feel like you have to wear this mask or wear that costume, well, then it probably is an act that you have to play for the necessary duration. A 30-day trial? Who knows? The question is, can you keep it up?

We all have roles to play one way or another. It's a fact of dear life. Beta versions of a new you is just a larger, more permanent picture this time. It's a life decision, and it takes a lot of courage and wisdom to accept your answer to the million-dollar question:

Release all new and improved YOU: Version 2.0 Full?
Or Restore Backup?

Life As We Know It

2011-06-21T23:46:00.000+08:00

Yes, I promise to watch the movie once I get my hands on a DVD of it.

Anyway, in an effort NOT to turn a movie title into a cliche, lemme just say that this short phrase actually translates to "The life that we were taught to live by is not always what it seems; there will always be changes that may not necessarily be part of our design."

Having said that, I believe it's true, especially for some of us who were brought up in an ideal environment. The little perfect ideal world does not necessarily translate directly into a mere bigger ideal world version. And we have to be ready to accept that.

Case in point: Me. I was living a sheltered life through elementary and highschool. I went to college starting out with a big chunk of the previous "sheltered life as I knew it". But pretty soon I knew I had to accept the new world I was now living in. Exit sheltered life. Enter college life. Unfortunately, my then boyfriend was weighing me down because he refuses to see that this world is entirely different from our highschool world. Either that or he doesn't want me to go out and meet the real world for fear that I might leave him behind? Whatever. The point being, it's hard to move in a new world when there's someone watching over you like a hawk on an eating binge. Life in highschool as I knew it changed (somehow) in college. When I got a job, I was in for another entrance test to the corporate world.

Exit carefree college life. Enter responsible yuppie life. Bills to pay. Allowance from my own pocket (or ATM) had to be budgeted, new people to meet and get along with, and that includes the Boss and the Boss' aides. Working for someone who has the power to fire you was pressuring and mind-blanking -- at first. Of course, once I adjusted to my "new corporate life as I knew it", it became my "life as I know it" for almost a decade, up until the time I left the corporate world for Mommyhood.

Exit corporate life. Enter Mudra life. The end of a life as I knew it and yet again the start of another. Will this life be the end of the story? Hardly. From the looks of it, there is and shall be many changes (drastic or otherwise) within my new "mudra life as I know it". I have a lot to learn. I have a lot to figure out. I have a lot to experience. At this stage, it seems pointless to conjure up any ideals sensing that I sometimes can't even determine what the ideal mudra life is all about. It was easier to stereotype the ideal scenario of a corporate world: Sucess = lots of moola = great career. But how can one define success in motherhood? Is it that your child finished pre school, gradeschool, highschool and college? Is it that your child isn't a rebel? Your child may not be a rebel, but has he made a difference in this world? If neither, are you still successful as a parent?

Seems like this current life as I know it has a LOT of gray areas, thin lines and variable responses. It's scary, fulfilling, exhausting, interesting, thrilling, even anxiety-building. I guess the only way to describe my "current life as I know it" is that it's as volatile as anti-matter on a vacuum canister running out of battery (sorry, refer analogy to Dan Brown's Angels and Demons). A small leak can change everything and even make it explode. Which is why I have to make sure I stay sane, stable, balanced and zonked with a lotta love and patience. Wishing for wisdom wouldn't hurt too, for me to accept the things I cannot control. And jaw strength too, to bite my tongue whenever I have the urge to retort, complain, sarcastically comment etc.

Bottomline: This "current life as I know it"... Seems I don't know it well after all. Not yet, anyway.

I'm NOT In It To WIN It...

2011-06-10T19:10:00.000+08:00

I'm in it for YOU.

These words (lyrics from a song I recently heard) had me momentarily stumped. I'm used to the "I'm in it to WIN it!!" frame of mind. Now this totally opposite school of thought?! Whoa. So I guess it IS possible to do something for someone out of sheer love/loyalty without even expecting reciprocation. Martyr much? Maybe, partly. Or perhaps there's happiness in doing this too. Unconditional love? Most probably. Ah. Selfless love. There you go.

But wait. Wasn't I able to do this too? Of course, not at the martyrdom level, no. But wasn't there a point in my life when I was the only one giving and exerting effort after effort, without the promise of certainty in a relationship? Hmmm. So this isn't really something new for me, after all. I remember at that point I was willing to go through with it, to make the effort myself-- until I bumped my head and my vision cleared and I realized it wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it. :)

But then let's try to shift the paradigm a bit. What if the guy is worth it, but you know that you can never win. Plain and simple. The question is, will you still go through the effort? Will you still offer the time? Will you still give the love?

If the answer is a resounding "Hell no!", hey, I don't blame ya. That is the logically correct answer. Statistically, most people do not waste their time and effort on something they know they can't get. You simply followed your mind, logical reasoning, sanity and kept within the socially acceptable mindset. That's cool.

But if your answer is still a soft but firm "Yes.", then kudos to you as well. You are the embodiment of the blog title. You have achieved selfless love, whether it be for a short or long period of time. You have found happiness in places not many can find happiness in. You followed your heart this time, allowing yourself to feel what others tend to avoid feeling. Undoubtedly, it will be a learning experience, and a humbling one. An experience that hopefully, when you look back, you'd say, "No, I still don't regret that one."

Unleash Your Inner Child

2011-06-07T15:48:00.001+08:00

Contrary to what may be the initial impression, having your "inner child" intact amidst all the grown-up worries in this world is a sign of sanity and balance. I'm talking about having a couple (or for the moneyed, maybe even a collection) of toys or action figures at home or even at work that you secretly enjoy during certain moments in your life. It may not be something you want to show to everyone, but it is certainly one you'd share with whoever knows your heart's desires.

It goes to show that you still have a firm grasp on your childhood roots, even partially. It keeps your feet on the ground. It is a reminder that you can let go of all your worries and just look at the kid inside of you and enjoy it for a moment. It serves as a break from the chaotic and complicated problems that you face every single day. It shows that you are still who you were before, or a part of you at least, despite everything you've done and everything you've been through. It allows you to stop pretending to be a grown up all the freakin' time. It's a sign of freedom from everything around you and immersion in your secret world.

Of course, it doesn't mean that you'd burst into play in the middle of a client meeting or presentation. Perhaps that already warrants some medical assistance. It is in those moments of solitude, or moments with someone close to you that you unleash your inner child without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. It's fun, and therapeutic, even.

Which is why it got me thinking, what represents MY inner child? Am I too caught up with the grown-up world that I can't even remember what I used to do when I was a kid? Maybe I was. Maybe I am.

Thanks for reminding me. I guess it's time to look inside... my toy chest. :)

Painful Consequences

2011-06-06T12:36:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes you have to suffer the consequences of your actions."

When I hear this line, I immediately think, "Damn, that can't be good..." Well, it's usually not. But you have no choice but to go through it.

This time I'm talking about physical pain. It's been a while since I've felt sick like this. Major attack of hyperacidity (I think) that I had to be rushed back to the condo from the mall just so I could lie down or throw up, whichever came first. I was just dropped off, so I was alone and hurting with no one to bring me to the hospital in case this was not just hyperacidity. Yes, that worse scenario came fleeting through my mind, although I managed to push it away because anxiety causes more pain.

So then I started thinking of what I have eaten the past few days that could have led to this. This is the part where you start pondering on your "actions" that led to this "consequence". Well, I could only think of 1 thing: chocolates. Whether it be a bar, or ice cream, or snack... I think I had too much chocolates for a while.

But since I'm a certified chocolate lover (even if it is technically not allowed for acidic persons like me teehee), I'm striving to defend the position that it was not merely the chocolates that did this. So, lessons learned:

Seafood Chowder soup, 1 slice of really thin crust pizza is NOT an ideal dinner. However delicious or fancy the restaurant might be.
#1 + Choco Java Ice Cream is not a good mix.
Late breakfast in the morning after eating #1&2 the night before is a dead-ringer for hyperacidic attacks.

So there. Lessons learned. As I am still recovering, I shall strive not to look at the chocolate shelf in the fridge, and shall eat good food in the couple of days to come.

Blast from the Friggin' Past

2011-06-01T22:09:00.000+08:00

Blasts from the pasts and reminiscing moments always conjure up twilight-zoney feelings for me. They produce a surreal effect that I sometimes don't know if I want to dwell on it or not. I guess it depends on what aspect of the "past" we are talking about.

I had one such moment this afternoon. An auto-email to my Yahoo! inbox told me I had a comment on my blog. No not this blog, my Friendster Blog. A 2005 entry. Of course I knew it was spam, but I suddenly remembered, oh yeah, I was blogging that long ago! I think I transferred my friendster blogs to this site back in 2008 but I'm not sure if I transferred all.

So then I decided to read the entry, and lo and behold! There was a picture of me and my ex. Hahaha! I couldn't resist reading the rest of the entry and the twilight-zoney feeling came over me.... I was on the outside looking in.... I was looking at myself 6 years ago.... That was how I felt, that was how I looked, that was how I wrote (pretty much the same way hahaha), that was what was going on in my life at that time... It was actually fun and very interesting to read my past entries, most of which I couldn't remember writing.... Hey, I guess once I let go of my feelings through writing I put those thoughts in the back burner.

As I was reading through various dates, there was actually one paragraph in an entry that had me thinking and laughing at the same time. It went something like this:

"This is also the first and the last time I am going to mention this: to the person whom I have hurt early this year, I’m really sorry. There were decisions I had to make, and in making them I had to sacrifice our chance. Although I never regretted my decision, I am still sorry for causing pain to someone who really cared for me. Thank you for everything you did for me. Those six months are full of memories I will cherish."

Honestly, my first reaction was like, "Who the hell was I referring to?!" I was clapping my had over my mouth in confusion. I know the date of the blog and I remember under what circumstances I was writing it. So I had to backtrack and calculate. Then I realized... then I LOLed. Why? Because I guess after realizing some things, I wouldn't exactly write about that person in such a.... kind way. I was thinking, what did he do for me? But oh well, maybe I was in a softie emo phase while writing the blog so I wouldn't wanna contradict myself directly. Haha!

I really am thankful I kept those blogs. I wish Friendster won't erase them. It allowed me to take a glimpse of myself and live in my past for a while -- just a while, because I wouldn't trade my present for anything else. :)

Thank Goodness for my Own World :)

2011-05-31T00:13:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it is easy to lose yourself in the real, crazy world.

I have been working since right out of college, I've always been around high-rise buildings and bosses and clients. There were always lunch-outs, dinner dates, Friday night gimmicks. Everyday was a new day, with new people to ride with in the shuttle, with new people to talk to on the phone, with new problems to face in the office, with new interactions with other people. These has been going on for the last (gasp!) 9 years of my life that I didn't know how to live otherwise. Amidst this all, I got married and had a baby. This new world combined with the world as I knew it were spinning their own circles and I had to keep up with both of them for a period of time. Until now.

One of those worlds had to stop spinning. Needless to say, the job had to go. Now I end up with a world totally different from the one I knew. Everything is a new and learning experience. I'm starting from scratch, learning the ropes of mommyhood from no less than my own mother, plus books and internet on the side. My new boss is even more demanding than my former employers. As they say, there are no overtime pays, the working hours is 24/7, with no option for resignation. I love it, but then again, it is easy to lose yourself in this new world I have chosen to live in.

So then here comes my world. A world I seem to have only recently reclaimed. I'm not even sure if I had it before, but I have it now. It's a small world with a limited time frame (just whenever I'm free) when I can be myself and have choices and options that I don't normally have. There seems to be no time element, there are only good thoughts, good memories, good vibes. I can do what I want, I can feel what I want to feel, I can go wherever I wanna go, I can be whoever I wanna be, even a princess :) It's my refuge, it's my inner strength. Oftentimes it's my reason for smiling amidst the busy reality. It's in my mind, in my heart, and I can take it anywhere with me, anytime. Call it an active imagination, a parallel universe, an astral plane, or whatever.

I call it my Own World. This is ME.

Shortage of Happy Juice

2011-05-29T10:19:00.000+08:00

I guess it's been going on for a while...just simmering beyond the surface. Little things that come up, that make me feel inadequate, uncertain, helpless and frustrated, spanning a wide range of aspects. Maybe I think too much, maybe I reflect on myself too much, maybe I analyze too much sometimes. I think I need a job, something or anything that would keep my mind working. Being a thinker has its downside sometimes -- if you have too much time to think, there are a LOT of things you think of and a lot of worries that cross your mind. Trivial things seem to be magnified because you have a think-all-u-can pass in your hands.

Of course I'm in the midst of mommyhood. It's physically demanding and taxing, yes. And I'm glad I get a lot of help with that part. Unfortunately I can't get help with the over-thinking part. I have to do it on my own. I have to try not to worry about things too much, to let go and leave them in God's hands. I have to accept the fact that I need to deal with some things by myself. I have to accept the fact that there are some things that I can only do so much with. I have to accept that there are people who cannot do anything beyond what they have already done, and you can't ask more from them. I have to accept that I have faults, and if people point them out I should not get discouraged or let that get into me.

Is this the career-woman-to-full-time-mom transition phase that other people are talking about? Partly, I think. My mind is craving for something to work on. A project. Something that has results. Because all I'm dealing with right now are tasks with intangible and uncertain endings. And I hate that. I hate uncertainty, I hate not being able to have some control over the possible outcome. I hate having so much dependencies. I hate not earning on my own, not having my own identity. I'm not used to not having control over my time anymore.

But I don't hate my life. I love it and I know I am blessed. I just have issues, and who doesn't? It's a mark of normalcy, to have issues and have to deal with them.

Just a sec, I'll go get my independence back. And grab a gallon of happy juice on the way.

Clearly, Globe, Customer Service is NOT your Best Asset

2011-05-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, even the widest range of cellphone services goes vamoose when you have crappy customer service.

My (new) line got redirected for the 2nd time because of low credit limit whatever. It's okay, I understand that. The first time I settled my payment, I got reconnected pretty easily. To think that I was in the middle of Makati while dictating the payment details to the hotline, I was reconnected within half an hour. Okay.

But this time, it's a different story. Cliffnote's version: I settled the whole amount yesterday and was told to wait 2 hours for reconnection. A couple of hours came and went without progress. Midnight I called their hotline and was told that as per their system, my line was already reconnected and that I should do this reset cycle thingie that involves putting my sim card into another phone so it can refresh. But still to no avail. Today, I had to call their hotline twice just so I could have a decent reply, FINALLY, from their customer rep. In my latest call this evening, after being put on hold for a couple of minutes, the customer rep finally had a new answer: that there was a "disalignment" in their system, that although their system logged that my line was already reconnected, the actual sms and call services where not provided.

Being from the IT field, I understand that. Sometimes, the system gives out a successful feedback but fails to do the job in the background. Sh!t happens, it's okay. My point is, why did it have to take 24 hours for them to see that?!?! Why did it have to take me 3 calls to their hotline just so someone could finally figure out what was wrong?!?! This time a request for the activation of the sms and call services were made, but again I was made to wait (gasp!) 24 effin' HOURS for the activation of the said services. That's 48hrs for something that usually takes less than a couple of hours to do. Why couldn't the earlier customer reps see what was wrong, so the request could have been made earlier and I didn't have to waste a day for something that wasn't even being resolved??????? So I sent an email to Globe. With this complaint plus more. So let's see what happens then.

Tsktsk. This is cramping my style. My cellphone activity has been generously hampered by delayed troubleshooting. Thanks Sun Cellular for being my unlikely savior. I owe you one.

Good Things Come in Small Packages

2011-05-25T00:05:00.000+08:00

...So the cliche goes. And I agree.

If we learn to see the small things in life, we would recognize the little puzzles fitting together. Slowly but surely.
If we learn to see the brighter side, our resolve will not be hampered by things not going exactly as we want them to be.
If we learn to see the glass half full, then we'd acknowledge that there are good things everywhere.
If we learn to accept that everything happens in HIS time, then we learn to wait patiently for that time. No shortcuts.
If we learn to appreciate other people's predicament, we also learn to appreciate how lucky we are compared to them.
If we learn to see the small miracles everyday, we would always be thankful for everything.

But hey. I know good vibes are hard to keep up especially in times of frustrations and disappointments. We may generally be cheerful and positive persons but there will always come a time when our happy juice runs out. That's why we have our support system to run to. Our families, friends, our sounding board who'd try and make us see the other side of things. It may not always work in a snap, but at least we know we are not alone. And at the end of the day, there's always HIM to run to. He may not give us the answers we want, but He will always give us something to hold on to.

Just don't let go.

My Bucket List

2011-05-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

Allow me to be selfish and create this post devoid of any social, marital nor financial status I may currently have, primarily because this bucket list includes wishes I've had waaay back.

This is a sequel to my previous post about the end of the world that made me think if I even HAD a list of things I wanna do in this lifetime. So I made one. Quite randomly. Warning: Not much analysis done. Here goes:

My Bucket List...

1. Drive my own car. Not an office car, not my either parent's car. Mine.
2. Drive my car on the highway going to someplace for an R&R... with my iPod blaring hiphop/RnB music.
3. Repeat mini-drift in MoA area. This time do it on purpose with longer skid marks.
4. Learn to drift on the multi-level parking.
5. Pimp my car.

(Okay at this point may I clarify that I have not yet even seen Fast 5. All these car and drifting fetishes of mine go years back. The boyish side of me resurfaces. Ok, moving forward....)

6. Continue Tae Kwon Do or learn another Martial Art
7. Continue swimming training.
8. Raise hell on the dancefloor.
9. Raise hell on the dancefloor with a kick-ass partner.
10. Party like there's no tomorrow (preferrably doing Nos. 8 & 9)

11. Kissing on the beach, under the stars.
12. Kissing during the sunset, either on the beach or overlooking the city.
13. Kissing in the rain (oh I got this from one of my girls hahaha)
14. Kissing a pretty girl. Hey, why not? No strings attached :)
15. Kissing in the middle of the woods. Haha.

(Before anybody reacts to these five items on kissing, lemme just reiterate that these include those from waaaay back. But, yeah, I guess they're still applicable. LOL)

16. Tour the Carribean, Bora-Bora, Amanpulo... Those exclusive, exotic tropical paradise islands.
17. Tour Europe.
18. Make snow angels, snowmen, ride the sled, ski the slopes.
19. Sunbathe in a yacht. Off the coast of wherever.
20. Picture perfect in the Eiffel Tower.

21. Live in a mansion, with maids and drivers and cooks. In plural form.
22. Live on the beach, in front of the sea, white sand.
23. Ride a Ducati. In a leather outfit. And capture the moment when I park it, take off my helmet, my hair tumbling down my shoulders and the guys around would think, "Hell, it's a f***ing girl in a f***ing Ducati!" Hahahaha.
24. Have a permanent dragon tattoo on my back. Or maybe a tribal form of my pseudoname.
25. Have a dance studio in my house.

I'm sure there are lots of other things on my bucket list. It may even turn out to be a truckload list. These are just off the top of my head.

I guess what I'm pointing at is that there are lots of things we all wanna do but can't -- because of financial, legal or personal matters. But what counts is that we try to make the most out of the things we CAN do and not let our limitations prevent us from living our lives and being happy, contented and blessed.

End of What?!?!

2011-05-22T01:33:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I vaguely read somewhere or vaguely heard someone say May 21 was supposed to be the end of the world according to somebody. Hmmm. Too bad I wasn't informed.

Well, as it is already 1:21am, May 22, I guess it ain't the end yet. Not this time anyway. But what if I truly believed that it would be the end of the world? It got me thinking, what would I have done, assuming I learned it ahead of time? Hmmm....

Would I dare leave my son & parents' side? Would I fetch hubby from abroad and drag him back here? Would I go out and meet up with friends I wanna see and spend time with them? Would I tell everyone I'm sorry (for whatever I have done)? Would I let significant people know just how significant they are to me? Would I try to help everyone I could?

Would I have done the things I've always wanted to do? Would I have done the things I've always wanted to do but can't? Would I have done the things I've secretly been wanting to do? Would I do the things on my bucket list? Wait, do I have a bucket list? (note: make one)

So you see. It CANNOT be the end of the world yesterday. I don't even have the answers to all these questions yet! Sheesh.

Destiny or...Not?

2011-05-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

I had an interesting conversation on the beach with a good friend who happens to have a different opinion about destiny. Destiny, according to him, is another word for not having a choice. He thinks that if something in your life is deemed "destined" to be, then no matter what you do, it will happen -- ergo, no choice.

He also said life always has choices. They may not be the choices you want, but they are choices just the same.

I agree with his take on choices. But the destiny part.... I guess the romantic in me would still want to believe in destiny.

I don't think it's about having no choice at all. My feeling is that the choices I make lead to different consequences along the way although ultimately, it's whatever God wants for me that will eventually happen. But because I don't know what that is until it does happen, then I wouldn't think I didn't have a choice, would I? The consequences of my actions along the way are the results of my choices, so I still have choices. Whew. Did that just feel like a merry-go-round or what.

Bottomline, I know I have choices, and I like to believe in destiny because that's what I call the things I cannot explain.

This is Real… This is Me…

2011-05-17T12:47:00.000+08:00

…I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be… so that song from Camp Rock goes.

Some blogger friends told me to take advantage of my blogging skills and advertise products for a fee. Well, there's nothing wrong with that, especially if it does generate some income. But for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't quite put my finger at the exact reason why I dismissed the idea, until a close friend made me realize why.

He told me it's because I blog from the heart.

He said that this blog shows the real me, which is why reading it is like getting to know me. Funny that it was just then that I understood why I couldn't just post something that doesn't have a personal connection with me. This is a personal blog, an extension of myself. (If I would make a business out of a blog I would have to create a third one for it.) I may write under my pseudoname, but it still came from the same heart, the same mind, the same thoughts. Mine.

So it was just recently that I learned to appreciate why I blog. I guess it came so naturally for me that I kinda forgot why I was doing this and whom I was doing this for.

Now I remember, and now I know.

This is me -- Unica Ivah.

Love Muffin

2011-05-17T12:45:00.002+08:00

Okay the title is totally random. It was in yesterday's episode of Phineas and Ferb. Randomness. I guess I really am hung over. Beach hangover.

You know how alcohol causes hangover the morning after, right? In my case, it's the sound of the sea and feel of the sand that's equally intoxicating. I keep on going back to the warm sand on my feet, the cool water on my body, even the seaweeds snaking on my legs. I keep on remembering the way the sky looked as I floated in seawater. I keep on seeing the grins, shrieks and giggles of my friends as they fooled around.

And, oh, the sunset. The lovely hue of the sunset, reflecting on the sea. Thank goodness I got some good pictures of it. Something I can always go back to.

Last but definitely not the least, I would never forget that exhilirating feeling as I walked on the shore that night. Cool sand, cool breeze, loud crashing of the waves, few stars in the sky… the dark horizon barely visible from where I was standing. The deep calming breaths I took, the peace of mind, the serenity, and the wish on the stars. Then I had a very interesting and entertaining conversation with a few close friends which made me ponder more about destiny.

Hmmm… beach fumes in my head.

Addictive.

What's With My Shirt?

2011-05-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

Note to self: wearing statement shirts = walking pickup line

A guy wearing a shirt (with an acronym on the front) rides the LRT with a friend. Inside, he makes eye contact with a girl passenger, and she comes up to him and asks, "Anong meaning ng shirt mo?" The guy smiles and answers… and probably thanks his lucky stars he picked that shirt to wear. As a bonus effect, the girl smiles sweetly and says goodbye as she exits at her station.

So then the guy wonders, “What’s with my shirt? Is it my shirt?” “Or my smart, bespectacled look?”

“Or is it me?”

Statement shirts are always a conversation starter. Well, at the very least, they are definitely attention grabbers. Which is why plain black or white shirts with one-word adjectives are everywhere right now. It’s like letting people know you in a nutshell – since it is assumed you would only wear something that suits you.

But the shirt is just the icing on the cake. What’s more important is the main dish – YOU.

How you carry yourself is the be-all and end-all of impressions. No matter how nice the icing looks, it’s how the cake tastes that ultimately matters. It’s how you walk, how you stand, how you make eye contact with other people, especially girls. It’s gotta be something like an I’m-not-a-rapist-but-I’m-interested-in-you look that’s not threatening and only mildly assertive. If you’re able to exude this without even thinking (like this guy in the acronym shirt), then expect girls to walk up to you. Ergo, you better get yourself some more of those statement shirts so they’d have no trouble finding a pick-up line. Just think, you’re making lives easier for them hahaha.

So if you ask, “Is it my shirt? Or the one wearing it?”

It’s definitely the one wearing the shirt -- that just happens to have a statement on it. Ikaw na! :D

Me, Sand and Sea

2011-05-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

I'm strolling by the shore, breathing the calm scent of the sand and the sea, being soothed by the sound of the waves crashing, mesmerized by the dark horizon.

And I want to do a voice blog. And this blog. And stay here. Am I weird? My friends wanna talk, i wanna be reflective.

Well I can only do this once in a while. I want to make the most out of it and capture the moment as best I can.

I wanna see the stars, however scarce they are. I wanna walk on the sand by the shore and watch if the waves reach my feet. I want to look at the dark horizon and wonder what's out there. I want my hair tossed and ruffled by the cool night breeze. I want to see the sand smoothened by the waves. I wanna watch my friends make "floodways" and wait until the water reaches it. Haha.

I want to thank God for my life. I want to appreciate what I have in my life. I want to appreciate who I have in my life.

I want to put my feet up when the waves reach where I am sitting. I want to listen to my friends talk about things that doesnt necessarily make sense.

I want to do everything and nothing.

I want to freeze time and let it stay in this moment.

Karma's a Biatch, Ain't It?

2011-05-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

We all reap what we sow. That's why when karma strikes... it hits you full in the face all you can remember is the whiplash.

It's either you think you're that good or others are that stupid that they can't see right through you. Newsflash earthling: they read you like a glaring warning sign of toxic waste.

Power is like electricity. You use too much and you burn yourself. Use it for the right reasons and you make lives easier. You are like a power surge. Small bursts of power. Big damage. I hope you remember, power tripping results in short circuits.

It can backfire on you. Karma.

Childhood Memories

2011-05-11T20:03:00.000+08:00

A couple of days ago, my childhood friend Migs posted (in FB) something that he used to do when he was a kid. By "kid" I immediately thought it may be the time that we were neighbors and we used to do almost everything together. It ended up being an exchange of reminisces that made me miss the old days.

Sharing our FB comments:

Eva Dueñas Capistrano: U did? I never remembered. Sa bagay, whenever we're together, it's always about toys and making maggie cry. Teehee!
3 hours ago · Like · 1 person

Miguel Francisco: and getting tadpoles hahaha remember that?
2 hours ago · Like

Miguel Francisco: And I remember this leaf we put in out bubble bottles to make more bubbles? I learned it from you... Alokbati or something?
2 hours ago · Like

Eva Dueñas Capistrano: Eeeeek omg the tadpoles!!! Beside the watertank. The leaf…Uh was it alokbati or gumamela leaf? *memory gap* bsta yeah we did that pra hindi n tyo mnghingi ng tide.. And your ectoplasm. My favorite.
about an hour ago · Like

Miguel Francisco: it was this vine something color violet that I had to go to this hidden way to get to the other street -- hahaha -- childhood adventures. OOOHHH how about this leaf we put wax in then burn and it pops during brownout nights LOL!
about an hour ago · Like

Eva Dueñas Capistrano: yeah yeah the one that looks like onion leaves... thin ones... i think they were weeds... then we burn them with the candles and they sizzle! Oh and the aratellis fruits that you guys eat that I refused to (but I eventually did eat it, once I think) from that house at the end of the street?
about an hour ago · Like

Miguel Francisco: peer pressure ba? LOL!
about an hour ago · Like

Eva Dueñas Capistrano: I think bullying is a more appropriate term. LOL!
about an hour ago · Like

Miguel Francisco: Hahahaha!!! Oh those were the days... Cheers my good longest childhood friend I can remember!
about an hour ago · Like

Eva Dueñas Capistrano: Loveeet! All the best to my first ever childhood friend!!! For life!!
about an hour ago · Like · 1 person

Looking forward to a reunion of the families! And more reminisces! Cheers!

Rain, I Love You…BUT…

2011-05-09T17:36:00.000+08:00

…BUT please don't be in my parade.

Okay, I'm not really referring to Rain the Korean singer/dancer because I do love him, period. No buts.(wistful sigh) I'm referring to the weather. I love rainy and cool weather after weeks of intense, unreasonable heat. But rain is only good for those planning to stay indoors. And I DO NOT intend to stay indoors this weekend. Besides, I can only do this once… in a blue moon. So please… Nix the raining, hold the downpour. If your rival Mr. Sun could make a cameo it would be mucho appreciated.

Walang basagan ng trip ha. Hindi pa huli ang lahat! LOL!

So You Think You Can Dance?

2011-05-07T06:38:00.001+08:00

So you think you can dance?

No, not the show. I meant life. Think you can always dance to it?

Nope. Sometimes we miss a beat. Sometimes we can't even get the beat. Other times it seems life is out of sync with us. Why? It's God's design. So we cling to Him, so we learn from Him, so we be reminded that He choreographs everything. No matter what moves we want to do, what turns we choose to take, He is watching over us.

Then sometimes life is just dandy. We groove to the beat of our chosen music. We (seem to) know the next step to the next stanza. Everything goes as planned. Perhaps because God meant it to be. Unfortunately this lures us into a sense of always being in control, always getting what we want the way we want it. So much so that when the tape runs out, we get lost in the deafening silence and start stumbling around. We often forget that sometimes we have to step back and listen to God's music this time, and not our own. We may not hear it clearly, but we have to believe that it has never stopped playing in our lives. We have to believe that even if our own music stops, we shouldn't be lost, because we always have His music to listen to, His dance to follow.

In every step, in every count, there's always a 50/50 chance of stumbling and falling. So if we feel as if we've been stumbling and falling down a lot, bear in mind that there's no other way to go but up. What's important is we don't let the floor block our view. Head up, eyes open, and see the little things unravel before us. We have to try to appreciate what we can see from the bottom, because those may be the ones that can help us go back up. Otherwise, we shall continue to stumble blindly amidst the negativity.

And as we go back up, let us not forget where we came from -- to keep us grounded. Let us not forget how we stumbled -- so hopefully we won't trip the same way again. Let us not forget the hands that help and the hearts that care -- so we may do the same for others. Let us not forget that there's always His music -- so we don't get lost.

It's God's choreography, after all. He just lets us freestyle.

...And They Said Not to Talk to Strangers...

2011-05-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

When I was a kid, my mom kept on telling me not to talk to strangers. Up to this day, I almost never do. I'm not in the habit of chatting someone up while falling in line, waiting, riding the bus etc. Which is why in times of my "willing to share ME time", I'd rather have a friend with me -- personally or at least on the phone.

And today was one of those times.

The guy in the DFA window was making small talk. He even wished me goodluck as he handed me my certified document. Maybe he thought I was going to apply for something abroad. Okaaay, so he meant well anyway.

As I was walking (hurriedly) towards my friend's car, this older guy who let me pass by ahead of him in the exit started walking in pace with me, and making small talk too. About how far the exit was from the road, about how high the rates of the travel agencies were, how he'd rather fall in line than pay several more hundreds of pesos. I said a few short but polite phrases in response, and discreetly slowed down so we wouldn't be walking in sync.

When I was on the bus going home, I was sitting by the window alone at first. Then a group of tattoo covered guys boarded the bus somewhere in Baclaran. The bulkier one, about my age probably, sat down beside me. A while later I noticed that the sun was in his face and he was commenting on it to his friend, so I moved the curtain to cover the window and he said thanks. That was ok. But then later he started to ask me if I was into tattooes. I said yeah but only henna. Then he started making small talk, alternately talking to me and his friends on the opposite side. When the seats in front of us were vacated, I was expecting him to move there since we were cramped, but he (purposely) let his friends move instead, and refused to budge beside me. Okaaay. He was actually nice, inviting me to their event on May 7 (artists' exhibit). They also have a tattoo parlor. He wasn't scary or rude, I think if circumstances were different it would have been interesting talking to him...except when he asked about my age LOL!

I don't know what's with this day. Strangers talking to me. And I had to break the rule and talk to them too.

Did I have a "talk to me" sign on my forehead? *checks my reflection*

Tattooed on My Mind

2011-05-04T08:01:00.001+08:00

I got 2 of 'em on my mind. It's been too long since I've seen them, been with them, felt them. Now I can't stop thinking about them -- at night and throughout the day. Is this an obsession?! I call it love.

Their names? Sea and Sand.

It's been 3 years since I've last been on a real beach with the soft sand and the calm sea. Where 2pc bathing suits are a non-issue, where lounging in the sand is the life, where the shoreline beckons those who want to frolick by the sea, where stars are nice to look at while lying on the beach.

I miss this. I need this. Sea and Sand, perhaps a bit of ME time here and there.

They may think any beach would do. It doesn't have to be one of those expensive resorts. Just one with good sand (not gray, muddy, dirty sand) and blue sea (not green or gray).

I understand some people may not understand my need for this kind of calm. However I also know that there are people who do. Maybe the difference is that they get to go anytime whereas I never had that kind of freedom.

For now, I shall continue to fervently wish that I get to see my long lost loves. I am not alone.

Revelations, Reflections...

2011-04-22T14:52:00.001+08:00

I recently learned of a lovely friend's heartbreaking story. A story of love and happiness turned sorrow and regret. Every girl's dream of good life and love, blown apart, washed away in a tsunami-esque manner.

However, amidst the brouhaha, I daresay that you, my dear, are still the lucky and blessed one. You have your family behind your back, and you have real friends who are willing to do everything to make you feel better. The mis-informed minority should not make a dent in the enlightened majority. What is important is that you know what the Mighty One knows. We may not be perfect, certainly we all have our faults, but let us rest assured that we are the ones on the right track. As my soul sister said, nothing beats sleeping soundly at night with a clear conscience. Only He can give you the strength you need. I wish you peace of mind, because nothing beats that. I wish you success in your new life -- and hopefully a new love we would soon be hearing about.

Do not fault yourself for loving someone. We always hope for the best in every relationship, don't we? And we are fully aware that when we give our heart to somebody, we also give him the power to crush it. There's always a 50/50 chance of that happening. It is how we move forward that matters. If we choose to put ourselves down and wallow in self-pity, then that becomes our fault. But if we choose to surround ourselves with positive vibes, good friends and continue to look fabulous (like you do, by the way), then there's already vindication in that. I love your positivity. Remember, you are blessed :)

Which got me into thinking. How much should we love? Or is that even a valid question? When we get into a relationship, we have every resolve to make it work right? So we give it our best shot, and that includes a lotta love and a lotta trust. Great if it works out and we end up being together for the rest of our lives. But what if it doesn't? Did we love too much? Or too little? Should we vow never to love the same way again, or repeat the exact same thing? Is it the same as getting a stone and hitting our own head with it if we love that way again? Or do we become man-haters? Or should we always believe in second chances, or new chances for that matter?

Everyone's entitled to her own opinion. As for me, personally, I believe in always giving my heart another chance to love. Love the same way, hope the same way, trust the same way -- with the past mistakes in mind. I guess the formula worked for me. If I didn't give myself another chance, and another chance and another (haha), I wouldn't have met my wonderful hubby. It's always in the aftermath that one realizes that indeed, everything happens for a reason.

So maybe some people are still in the stage where everything's happening and nothing makes sense at all. I guess all roads lead to that turning point in our lives where, after passing it, we look back and we're able to say, "Ah, so that's why it happened."

This Holy Week is a time for reflection. Maybe that's why I'm thinking this way hehehe. I hope everyone who oughtta think has already thought, and everyone who oughtta understand have already understood. Furthermore, I wish that whatever has been thought and understood shall eventually lead them to the right path.

Reaction to Satan's Letter to Willie

2011-04-13T11:10:00.002+08:00

I recently read a creative blog (link posted by a friend) of "Satan" writing a letter to Willie Revillame.

http://worldofalbert.blogspot.com/2011/04/satans-letter-to-willie-revillame.html

I couldn't help but commenting:
"I agree specifically with user Khantotantra2.

Guys, this is a creative post. Doc Albert is entitled to express his opinion in a creative way as much as willie supporters are entitled to express their opinios by crying on TV to show support for their man. Kung tutuusin, may karapatan din silang magpost ng opinion dito pro sana walang personalan, wag na nila dirain [sic] ang pgkatao ng blogger dhil hindi nmn nya sinisira ang pgkatao nyo.

On the other hand, agree dn ako na nging OA ang reaction kay Janjan. Akala kc umiyak dhil napahiya. Hindi nmn. Umiyak cya dhil ntakot kay Mr. Balingit. Kng kalaswaan at moralidad ang pguusapan, mas mdami pang mas grabe na ginawa sa ibang shows. Pro wla nmn issue db?

Ang hindi lng tlga maganda kay willie is how he handles criticisms. Namemersonal eh. Ayan tuloy, nahahawa na ata ang ibang supporters nya, pati creative blog, pinepersonal. Hehe.

In the end, knya knya tyong opinion. Kung walang pumipigil sa inyo sumuporta kay Willie, wag nyo din sana personalin ung mga taong ayaw sa knya. Lawakan ang pang-unawa. "

As a writer with poetic license, I credit this guy for having good metaphorical skills. Altho i don't necessarily agree with some of his points, (e.g. that Willie would have wanted that Ultra Stampede to happen) I admire the blogger's grit in saying what he wants to say and receiving numerous bashings from Willie supporters for it.

I am neither a Willie hater nor a supporter. Sometimes I find him funny. Sometimes offensive. I recognize his desire to help the poor. But I also recognize how he, whether unwittingly or on purpose, manage to use his charisma for the masses as LICENSE to be arrogant and to defy authority.

His formula is using the "I'm-doing-this-for-the-masses…" ingredient. Example, something like: "Ginagawa ko itong lhat ng ito para sa masa. Para makatulong. Grabe ang pghihirap ko pra dito. Wala akong ibang hangad kundi tumulong..." (So far, this is true naman. But here comes the twist--) "Tapos pra sa isang maliit na bagay bbatikusin nyo ako? Sa dinami- damikong tinulungan, palalakihin nyo ang isang bagay? Gusto nyo bang matigil ang pgbbigay nmin ng saya sa mga kapwa? Eto n nga lng ang inaasahan nla eh, ngttyaga pumila sa labas pra sumaya mn lng at mbigyan ng pag-asa. Tapos dhil sa pmbbatikos nyo matitigil p ito?"

See? Though this is not verbatim, I want to point out his reasoning, how he manages to use the masses as a way of saying his detractors are the bad guys for criticizing his OWN wrongdoings. Or as a license for getting away with arrogance. That's what i don't like about him.

I hope the desire he has as he continues to help the poor is as much as his desire in banishing arrogance and tactlessness in his words and actions.

Ms. Venus Raj, WTH? (Why the hair?)

2011-04-11T13:03:00.004+08:00

I watched (some of the) Bb. Pilipinas telecast last night. I gotta admit, most of the girls' answers were good.

Moving forward, what actually disappointed me a bit was Venus Raj's hair. She looked like a tanned Sto. Nino. I was looking forward to her stately grace and poise (which she still had, yes), but I was major majorly distracted with her hair. WTH? (Why The Hair?) I missed her 1950's classic look and aura.

pic courtesy of Youtube (screencap)

However, I'm sorta kinda glad that her "major-major" slogan was picked up by Pizza Hut. I was actually surprised she became their image model -- being that pizza is not actually a common food for models. But good for her, she became famous, in a good way, because of it.

More power to you girl! Just get rid of that 'do. Your hair is better off straight. :)

The OFW's Wife

2011-04-09T01:22:00.001+08:00

Now I know how it feels, sending off your husband to work abroad. I purposely left all our cameras (imagine, me, the camhoe?) so as not to remind me of this day.
Nevertheless, I'm surprisingly okay, doing better than I expected. Yeah I did cry the first time I walked into our room, when I saw his shirts and stuff scattered around. I realized, no one would use them in a long time, and no one will steal my blanket and bed space anymore. I got no one to wake up with everyday. Things I took for granted suddenly meant a lot.
However, I do realize that these are trivial things to cry about (but that don't stop me from doing so anyway). I oughtta focus my efforts on giving all the support I can give on his JobHunt: The Search for the perfect Job (that won't take him for granted).
I may have the license to cry me a river, but I know I also have the responsibility to accept the reasons for this temporary separation.

Certified Green Archer

2011-02-04T13:02:00.007+08:00

Ok, maybe not green. Pink is more accurate. I wasn't talking about my school, by the way (I just had to use the pun, sorry). I was talking about Gandiva, the uh, archery place (archery place??) in Mall of Asia.

And well, no i'm not really certified as in certified, it's more of I'm now a certified FAN. I love it. I'm almost tempted to buy my own bow. *looks at the price tags* ok scratch that thought. eeeeek! I thought simple looking ones won't cost much!

Anyway, one of our project team mates tried this with his friends, and he brought us there. The first 6 shots with instructor are free, you just have to buy your own paper target. Then it's P500/hour unlimited shots with instructor, shareable by two persons (The hourly rate can be divided by up to 2 persons only). It's actually a good stress reliever to do something different this time.

Gandiva can be found at the Marina part of SM Mall of Asia (the back part facing the Seaside restos). It's on the opposite side of Burger King.

A-cute rhino

2011-02-02T15:32:00.001+08:00

Nope, this post is faaar frombeing about the wildlife. It's actually a cute petname for my illness. Acute rhinopharyngitis. Or that's what I think the med cert says.

New Old Post: WAPAAK!

2011-02-02T14:35:00.002+08:00

This post (in my friendster blog) was dated March 8, 2006. It was recently brought to my attention because of a spam comment. So then I decided to read my blog again, and was amazed at how similar my sentiments are, despite having very different situations already -- case in point, I was single and ready to mingle back in 2006 while I am, as you know, married with a bouncing kid today. But still, I could have written this today, with a few minor changes.

OMG. History has repeated itself. Read on.

WAPAAK!

yan ang buhay ko ngayon. parang palaging may amats, palaging masakit ang ulo, bangag, hilo, pagod. buti sana kng dahil sa gimik. ang masaklap, sa trabaho yan. pano ba naman, napasabak ako sa gitna ng giyera na walang ka-malay-malay kng ano ang pinag-aawayan. makabuluhan nga ang trabaho ko ngayon, kng ikukumpara sa kkaibang "level" ng pagpapanggap na natutunan ko dati. pero mshdong mabigat at malaking responsibilidad ang binagsak sa balikat ko, na kahit maghhumiyaw ako ng "wait! hindi pa ako ready!" eh no choice din. kulang sa oras. alam kong walang may kagustuhan pro nangyari. pro alam ko din nmn na kng bibigyan ng oras, mas gagaan… ata… diba?.. sana…

kaya ako ay ang pinakabagong miyembro ngayon ng T.G.I.F. - Thank God It’s Friday group. Ang mga nilalang na naghahanap ng happening pag biyernes dahil sa pressure sa trabaho. nagbabaka-sakali na ang pagka lango nila pag biyernes ay dahil sa tinunggang san mig o red horse at hindi dahil sa pag ngawa ng boss o kliyente.

buti nlng nung sabado, nag birthday ang kaibaigan ko. kahit naiwan akong mag-isang gumagawa ng trabaho na pang 2 tao, ayuz lng dahil alam kong magpapakasaya ako pagdating ng sabado. pero pano na ngyong linggong to? anong katuturan ng lahat, kng walang gimik? hindi din suweldo, dahil hindi ko nmn nararamdaman un. eh ano nga?

hindi nmn sa pag gimik lng umiikot ang mundo ko. pro bakit ba prang kelangan ng wapak pagkatapos ng linggo? bakit prang kelangan ang ending ay may happening tlga? cguro dahil wala akong choice. Hindi na ako natutuwa sa trabaho ko pero kailangan kong sumugod sa giyera, dahil hindi naman pwedeng mag "permission to fall out sir!" ang byuti ko. kaya consuelo nlng un. pang balanse, ika nga.

buti nlng, may nagpapa smile sakin.

kundi dahil sa knya, haaaay…

so, anong gimik natin ngyon?

Little Big Things

2011-01-25T01:37:00.001+08:00

It's the little things that matter, i realized. The small things i used to take for granted. Things like opening the laptop, writing in my planner, fixing my bag, or soundtripping without worrying if someone might need me. Now, i can only do these things at someone else's expense, like now whily my hubby's looking after our son.

Thanks to this app that allows me to blog from my phone, i have access to the blog i almost forgot. maybe i can now post more often? We'll see.

Ciao. Master beckons.

"It's not all about the money." Oh yeah?

2010-10-04T16:05:00.002+08:00

I have been told that in making choices specifically about this current career, it's not just all about the money. Look at the opportunities you could have, the new learnings that you gained that you wouldn't have if you were elsewhere...

BUT, in a world where there are more withdrawals than deposit slips, where stacking credit card bills display grocery (not out-of towns, not fancy restos, but grocery) trips loving a lot of zeroes in it, where an 8.8kg little boy gulps PHP900.00 in a week and pees on a thousand worth of diapers a month, where the same little one shrieks as a PHP5,000.00 vaccine is punctured through his thigh, a world where milestones usually mean looking stoned without sleep even from a mile, a world where your health is assumed to be devoid of any necessary checkups or care, a world where your functions are not necessarily proportional to your designation (and therefore your pay), in a thankless world where your efforts seem to be invisible -- in that kind of world, I hate to admit it but it suddenly becomes all about the money.

Imagine the feeling of having nothing to look forward to but having to leave your child for it? Add to that more feelings of guilt because your duties as a mother is transferred to your own mother who in turn is struggling in her own career because she has to take over what should have been your role? The result of which are more financial challenges for your mother, something you should at least alleviate but cannot because you yourself are struggling? How fair is that?

The funny thing is, all that I'm really ranting about is having what it due us -- in industry standards.

So sue me if I beg to disagree that it's not all about the money. In my world, IT IS.

Spot the Difference

2010-09-02T11:49:00.000+08:00

My goodness. Look at the difference.

I’m torn whether to admire or disbelieve the sheer courage or stupidity of the MPD for being in combat without the proper gear.

The Joys of Motherhood

2010-03-31T13:07:00.009+08:00

(I have been wanting to write this blog since I gave birth early March, but I have since realized that my planned activities will now be wrapped around my son's little finger. So far, he has been commanding my full strength and attention, barely allowing me to slip back to my previous computer-related life. So now, with a few stolen moments while my son is asleep, I will attempt to write about my upside-down world now-- in a nutshell.)

The beginning...

March 2, 2010. Around 6PM:

"Tok!" I felt something in my tummy. I thought EJ was just playing inside my womb. But, call it instinct or whatever, I felt it was something different. I went to the bathroom and realized, this is it. My waterbag broke!

Me (laughing): Mommy! Pumutok na ata panubigan ko!

Mom (panicking): O DALI! DALI! PUNTA NA TAYO SA OSPITAL!!

Me: (sat down on the toilet to pee.)

Mom (panicking ever more): O BAKIT KA PA UMUUPO JAN??? HALIKA NA SA OSPITAL!

Me (laughing): Easy lng! Easy lng! Naiihi lng ako!

Me calling Jon, who was still in the office:

Me: Ging, pumutok na po panubigan ko...

Jon: HAA???? HAA?????....... O ANO PANO NA SAN NA TAYO MAGKIKITA???

Me: Easy lng hehe, sa ER nlng sa Perps tayo mag-meet ok?

Jon: OK OK AALIS NAKO NGYON!

And the rest was....comedy.

It helps to read a lot during your pregnancy -- what would happen, when it might happen, and what it might feel like. So I felt that I wasn't completely in the dark, since I kinda knew what was going to happen to me, and though my expectation was really of normal delivery, I knew at the back of my head that an emergency Caesarian Section was always a possibility.

So I was basically apprehensive of 3 things:

1. Dextrose, since I have never experienced it (despite countless injections and blood tests)

2. The Epidural since I know it involves a biggie needle and the spine -- and that never sounds good together.

3. The contraction thingies, but since I'm going to have Epidural (see #2), then this could be cancelled out.

Well, the Dextrose and the Epidural turned out to be non-events. They weren't much different than the injections and blood tests I had to go through during my lifetime.

The contractions at 4-5cm were like my normal monthly pains. At 5cm, they gave me epidural already out of standard procedure. At 7-8cm, the first trial dose of epidural was wearing off, and my OB didn't want to give me more, which was ok since it was tolerable... until the 8-9cm, where I was already making "sheeshing" sounds because I was trying to tolerate the pain and at the same time begging to have a teensy weensy dose even just to lessen it. They eventually gave me a partial dose again -- and as I was about to give birth at 10cm, I could still feel the contractions so I was able to push EJ out despite having his cord coiled twice around his neck.

I DID say the rest was comedy, right?

As posted in my Facebook account, here are some quotable quotes during delivery (yes, I was awake and sane the whole time):

"Inhale, exhale... Inhale, exhale... Inhale, exhale..hold it... PUUUUSH!!!! (Counting) 1...2....3...4...5...6...7...8...9..10" (imagine having to push like that for 10 counts!)

"Push para kang nac-CR!" (for 10 counts!!)

In the middle of everything

Me: "Ok ok isipin ko nlng constipated ako!"

Them: "Oo, isipin mo constipated ka!"

"IRIS! Bakit namumula ang mukha mo?? Ang force mo dapat sa pwet, hindi sa mukha! Hindi jan lalabas ang baby mo!"

"Hala lumalabas na litid mo sa leeg... push sa pwet! Sa pwet!"

Me asking my Anaesthesiologist after seeing EJ:

"Doc, baby ko un diba?"

DOC: "Ewan ko sayo, bsta nakita ko lumabas cya jan kanina!"

Hahahahaha!

So at 02:25 a.m. March 03, 2010, Ev Joaquin D. Capistrano was born via Normal Delivery.

And so the saga continues...

The first few days literally turned our worlds upside down. Everything -- our schedules, our sleep, our mealtimes, even our bathroom breaks were erratic. One cry from the little guy sends four adults into a frenzy on what to do -- nappy change? milk? water? burp? cuddle?

I admit that the initial euphoria has passed, and that I have since descended from the cloud 9 of having a successful delivery. I am going through what every new mother is going through -- sleepless nights, sleepless days, hurried meals, back aches from carrying the baby or sleeping on one side facing the baby -- not to mention the post-partum pains in the abdomen, the stitches, the painful lactation. Finding out about my son's G6PD Deficiency almost gave me palpitations -- until I understood that it wasn't really so bad at all. ( side-note: Glucose-6 Phosphate Dehydrogenase or G6PD is an enzyme that helps create red blood cells. Ergo, a deficiency of this means the body can't produce enough RBCs. There's no medicine for this -- he just has to avoid certain food/chemicals/medicines that breakdown RBCs -- otherwise, it leads to hemolytic anemia. It's kind of like a food allergy where there's no permanent cure but if you avoid what's not good for you, then you're okay)

Truthfully, it's hard to maintain the initial euphoria when I can even hardly keep myself awake most of the time. But I know I'm still blessed to have a normal delivery, to have a normal, healthy baby boy, and to have my whole family supporting & helping me the best way they can.

Mommyhood is no easy feat. I've always appreciated everything my mom has done for me, but I find myself having a new found sense of respect & love for my mom who had it waaay harder than what I'm experiencing right now.

And now, cradling my sleeping son with my right and typing this blog with my left (see picture above), I have to get back to the new reality I must face from now on -- that my everything now revolves around my son.

Pre-Natal Photography (and the reason behind it)

2010-02-19T07:21:00.010+08:00

Pre-Natal Photography @ 32 weeks.

I am indeed lucky enough to have a husband whose mind is open to my quirks, who lets me express myself infinitely, who never tries to hinder my growth and who never requires me to conform to the stereotypical old school wife who seems to lose her sensuality after marriage. Thank you Jon.

I am also lucky enough to have a guy bestfriend from college, whose passion for photography became apparent during the early years of our corporate life. He took the time and effort to come over and experiment with me. Thank you Kenneth (Bo0tskie).

Likewise, I am also lucky to have a bubbly girl bestfriend from college, who gave me a great journal for my new foray into the world of mommyhood -- Dr. Mom Health Journal and, together with her significant other, graced the photoshoot and became my official "stylist" for the second set of pictures... if "stylist" could be used for someone who throws in weird ideas causing everyone to laugh their insides out. Thank you Tin (Blo0pie).

People may ask, why the fuss of having your pregnant belly photographed? Other people actually pay to have this photoshoot (lucky for me this was pro-bono, hugs to Kenneth), so what is this really for?

It's a form of expression. It's all about capturing the moment of preparing for mommyhood, especially if this is a first pregnancy. Being pregnant is a very special moment in a woman's life, and no one can fault us for wanting to be reminded of it.

It's also a way to make us (moms-to-be) feel good about ourselves. It reminds some of us (like me) that after the aches, pains and sacrifices we have been through, pregnancy is a wonderful thing, and we don't necessarily have to look sick and tired all the time. It gives us a chance to let the pregnancy bring out the beauty inside of us.

During the time of this photoshoot (@ 32 weeks), I have been on House Arrest for several weeks already, and still am as of this posting(@35 weeks). If not for this photoshoot, I would always remember myself as looking big, bloated and tired the whole time. There would be no good memories of the sacrifice that we had to make for our baby -- foregoing my work and salary just to make sure the baby is alright. There would be no concrete symbolism that pregnancy, despite being on House Arrest, is still a wonderful thing.

Of course, as with all other forms of art and expression, this is not for everybody. Not every mom-to-be is compelled to do this, for their own good reasons. Not everyone would have a good impression of us who opt to do this -- some may think we are showing off our pregnancy, or our pregnancy figures, or our skin, which is actually inevitable but is totally beyond the point. Conservatives might remark that young moms-to-be are becoming trashy and inappropriate nowadays. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, as I am entitled to mine as well.

This is something I would definitely look back to when I'm old and wrinkly -- telling my firstborn EJ that "Believe it or not, that was me, while I was having you."

(Hmm... I wonder how he will react to this one. Haha.)

For the other pictures from this set, you may view my multiply site here.

Is there such a thing as a "Wrong Kind of Mother's Love"?

2010-01-22T14:28:00.006+08:00

Well, is there?

I guess it's pretty obvious what brought this out. (Does the name Marlene Aguilar ring any bells, or have you been to Pluto and back that you have no idea who she is?)

We have all heard of the centuries-old adage about a mother's love being like no other, a mother's love being unconditional, a mother's love being the best kind of love anyone could hope for, and variations thereof. I dare not challenge the truth behind these words, as I, with all my heart, do believe in all that, especially since I'm soon going to be a mother myself.

But (yes, there's a but somewhere), is there a wrong kind of mother's love? And when does one draw the line between the right kind and the wrong kind?

A mother's natural instinct is to protect her child from harm. If she could only take away the pain, any pain that her beloved child is feeling, she would gladly do so. She would fight for her child no matter what the consequences are for her, she would sacrifice her time, her health, her everything just to do what is best for her child.

Then maybe that's the key. "What is best for her child". Everything she does is what she thinks is best for her child. So even if it hurts to have injections, she would allow it because it's best for her child. Even if it hurts to be reprimanded or disciplined for a wrong doing, she must enforce it because it's best for her child. Even if it hurts to stumble playing football, she allows it to happen because it's good for her child to develop athletic abilities and tolerance. Even if it hurts to be away from each other during college or later, she supports it as long as it's for her child's brighter future.

But hiding your fugitive child and misleading the authorities just so he could escape punishment for taking someone else's life, another mother's child? Is that still justifiable as "Mother's Love"? Hell no. I know that this is not unique to Ms. Aguilar. There are definitely other mothers (other parents, for that matter), in the Philippines or in other parts of the world, who allow or even orchestrate the cover-ups for their children's mistakes. I don't think there's anything wrong about these mothers' unconditional love. I think the problem is with their judgment of right and wrong.

Blinded by what they think is a mother's quest for the self-preservation of her child, coupled with a demented (and therefore selfish) reasoning of what is right or wrong, mothers like Ms. Aguilar close their eyes to the horrific wrongdoing of their child and instead focus on doing what they think is "best" for him -- shielding him from anybody who could hurt him (despite him having killed others, imagine that) and evade the law. It doesn't matter if justice is not served to the victims' families, as long as her beloved son is safe and alright. Boohoo.

The thing is, even if this has been done by other mothers, what disgusts me more this time are the hysterics. Ms. Aguilar, you are SUCH an ACTRESS. Tearfully and oh-so-softly addressing your beloved son in an interview, to surrender? Raising dramatic hell in CCP (or was it PICC?) by, again, tearfully addressing your son and declaring that you are accepting your son's fate? All the while feeling triumphant deep inside, knowing your son is sitting safely at home?

Your son was clearly showing no sign of remorse, for the previous 2004 incident (look at the file videos where he struts around in handcuffs as if he doesn't give a damn) nor for this latest incident (I don't think shooting at NBI agents is actually a sign of remorse now, is it?). It makes us wonder, what kind of mother are you? It was far less dangerous if you had encouraged your son to surrender. But obviously, the plan was to hide him and help him escape. So again, what does that make you both as a mother and as a person? Morals out the window, I guess.

Please just stop the hysterics. Be at your son's side while both of you are facing criminal charges, fine. Be there while he recuperates and while he faces the consequences of his actions. Just stop the lame drama. You are unwittingly giving the term "A Mother's Love" an unwelcome twist.

Oh, and by the way, that is not a Mother's Love, because a real Mother's Love is not a selfish love.

Baby Bump Pic

2009-11-07T11:22:00.004+08:00

My first ever "presentable" Baby Bump Pic at 19 weeks.... I have been taking pictures of my tummy several times but of course, it feels awkward to post them anywhere in public. And I also have been looking groggy until recently -- when I got better from colds & sinusitis.

I posted this last week in my Facebook account, and I was surprised at the positive responses I got... I didn't really expect my friends to comment, but they did, and every little comment made me smile... Thank you guys!!! I guess that for some of my oldest friends, it is surreal seeing their "one-of-the-boys" classmate being pregnant and ladylike (waaat) this time... Hehehe!

I'm currently on my 20th week, which means I'm halfway there -- full term should be 40 weeks. I'm going to ask my OB/sonologist later if it is possible to determine the gender of my baby already. Jon & I can't wait to know the gender so we can start preparing.

I'm also finding it quite hard to move around now, partly because of the weight (my back kinda hurts more often) and because I feel like my tummy is stretched already and the baby is kinda "ipit".

Oh, and now I'm starting to waddle like a duck when I'm walking. I dunno why, but it just happend coz it seemed to be the most comfy way of walking. LOL. I tried walking the way I usually do, but I kinda feel uncomfy with it. *shrug*

Lots of changes, physically, emotionally, financially (sigh). But looking forward to everything, and trying to prepare as much as we can!

Til next :D

Thoughts of a First-Time Mom-to-be

2009-10-15T15:13:00.001+08:00

Before I got pregnant, I was involved with my sister-in-law’s pregnancy. We were always with them every other week. She went on with her usual activities, still driving to and fro her office, even until her 9^th month. She ate a lot and gained weight even during her first trimester. So I thought,” I hope I won’t have a hard time with my future pregnancy, just like her”.

But I had a hard time. A really hard time. I had a threatened abortion and had to take medicines that made me acidic. I had to rest, but couldn’t lie down for a long time due to acid reflux (acidity going up my throat when I lie down). I was throwing up so regularly I was developing a personal relationship with our master toilet. I couldn’t eat a lot, because I would get bloated and acidic and throw it all up anyway. I’m supposed to relax and not get stressed, but how could I, when I even have to get up in the middle of the night to rendezvous with the toilet. And the biggest thing of all – I had to take a 1 month leave without pay, just when I need the budget for my medicines and checkups. The ironies of my condition were endless.

So in all honesty, I couldn’t feel “happy” during those times. I feel guilty when I realize that all that was in my mind were my discomforts. Of course, at the back of my head I knew a miracle was happening, a gift was given to us, but I couldn’t feel totally joyous about it – not with my mind trying to control my nausea for the most part of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t sulking and questioning God why I had to get pregnant, because I did pray and wish for it. I wanted to get pregnant, I just didn’t really “feel” pregnant – I felt like someone who had acute gastroenteritis. Especially since my abdomen wasn’t showing yet.

Then I woke up one morning sometime towards my 3^rd month. I realized my tummy wasn’t aching with acidity that much. I started to feel hope that this was it, I was starting to get over the drama. But after a few days, I found myself making friends with our office toilet – so I start wondering, what the heck is going on? I thought I was over this already?

So I started to get into a funk again, about why I was still feeling all these, when I realized that, hey, didn’t I manage to sleep a bit better last night? Hey, didn’t the frequency of my nausea go down? Hey, didn’t my acidity somehow lessen? Hey, wasn’t I generally feeling better than before? I started becoming positive, seeing my improvements and thanking Papa Jesus that this was better than before. It was at this point that things started to look up.

Now in my 17^th week, though I am still not allowed to travel as I used to, and I still throw up once in a while, and I still get bloated and acidic and have recently developed an annoying after taste. But I feel happier, I have more appetite, and my tummy is showing – making me realize that a little one is really growing inside me. My officemates have been very supportive, always watching out for me and reprimanding me, understanding my absences.

But the greatest feeling of all is seeing the baby, MY baby, inside my womb, squirming and jerking and changing positions. Although the ultrasound still wasn’t able to determine the gender of our baby, the more important aspect was the fetal biometry – in layman’s terms, the baby’s vital statistics. Thank God, that despite my sensitive pregnancy, my baby’s growth is on time, right on schedule. The size of the head, the abdomen and the length are all normal for his/her age. I still haven’t felt a kick or a punch yet, it may take more weeks for that, but seeing that everything is normal gave me relief beyond measure. We really thank God for that.

I realized that seeing my baby healthy even just through ultrasound suddenly made everything I went through worthwhile… how much more when I get to meet him/her in person next year? Our worlds will probably turn upside down, the unica hija now with the unica niña who has been loved from the moment the second pink line appeared… :D

And they really HAD to make it to NY Times....but what about the others?

2009-10-02T09:12:00.003+08:00

http://www.starmometer.com/2009/10/01/cristine-reyes-and-richard-gutierrez-make-it-to-the-new-york-times/

I'm sorry guys, I just have to react on this. I know it's hardly the time to have negative feelings about other people, but I also believe in giving credit where credit is due.

So lemme make this short.

I agree that stars saving other stars is worth media coverage -- especially since it makes everyone realize that in calamities like these, there are no rich, poor, popular celebrities nor D-list wannabes. Everyone is equal in times of danger and crisis.

However, I also firmly believe that stars saving ordinary people are all the more newsworthy. Popular actors almost unrecognizable with the waters reaching up their mouths, hollering to their neighbors to check if they are ok, braving flood waters without motored transport, saving people and animals alike, tying ropes as make shift anchors lest they be carried away by the current... I think they all the more deserve appreciation.

So, ok, the more popular make it to New York Times... How I wish they included the more heroic too...

God bless us all, and may we continue the spirit of compassion and sharing amongst us...

Infanticipating

2009-09-08T10:14:00.002+08:00

July 14: Wondering, "Where'd my period go? I already had spotting, didn't I? Where is it now?"

July 17: Staring intently at the home pregnancy test, "Do I see a second line? Is that a second line? I think it is a second line! OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!"

July 22: First TransV Ultrasound. Sonologist: "You're around 5 wks pregnant, but see this spot here? That's not supposed to be there. That's blood inside your uterus. There's minimal subchorionic hemorrhage -- this is a sign of miscarriage. I suggest you go back to your OB immediately, she might recommend you to rest."

And the next 4 weeks were therefore spent at home -- coupled with increased hyperacidity, flatulence, nausea and actual throwing up.

Morning sickness proved to be an All Day sickness, necessitating frequent bouts with the Master Toilet. Never in my life have I had a closer relationship with a ceramic bowl until this. All medications stopped, hoping to tame the nausea and hyperacidity. TUMS and Kremil only serving to neutralize the top layer of acidity.

But the one silver lining amidst this ordeal is hearing my baby's heartbeat through the doppler -- a confirmation that yes, a little one is growing in my tummy!

Krispy Kreme Drive Thru!

2009-07-03T21:16:00.003+08:00

Yesss. Krispy Kreme drive thru. Jemmi's idea. Didn't believe it until I saw it. It was my first time to drive thru a doughnut shop!

Here's the entrance that says Drive Thru :D

And here's the drink selection, and the doughnuts by the dozens

And here's the doughnut selection. My personal favorite is Hershey's special dark chocolate. I bought New York Cheesecake for my hubby :)

Cool huh!

The only un-cool thing was the car before us changed their orders several times -- to the point that they actually gave back 2 of the 3 boxes they already had... jeez... in fact, one passenger actually got out of the car and transacted in the window, making it look like a sari-sari store. Excuse me, drive thru nga eh! :D Ocge na nga, at least I got my dark chocolate doughnut, and Jemmi had her chocolate covered chocolate cake or something like that (that I finished for her... yummy!!!)

Save or Splurge? Cosmetics 101 (Part III of III)

2009-07-03T21:10:00.002+08:00

Foundation = Splurge! The best beauty brands are the ones that offer foundation in a variety of non-irritating shades that suit every woman's natural skintone.

Concealer = Splurge! Unfortunately, those cheap concealers don't cover your flaws as naturally as the expensive ones.

Powder = Save and splurge! For daily wear, you'll do fine with cheap grocery face powders, but for special events, you need to use long lasting powders offered by more pricey brands.

Source: Belle de Jour Power Planer 2009

Save or Splurge? Cosmetics 101 (Part II of III)

2009-06-12T21:27:00.003+08:00

(Part 2 of a 3-part series)

Blush = Save! There are so many choices out there, so it actually boils down to proper application and blending.

Lipstick = Save or splurge! As long as the formula is non-drying and non-irritating, then the choice of shade and brand is up to you.

Lip Gloss = Save! Most of them contain the same ingredients, anyway.

Source: Belle de Jour Power Planer 2009

Save or Splurge? Cosmetics 101 (Part I of III)

2009-06-01T23:11:00.003+08:00

For lack of proper knowledge in cosmetics, these simple tips from my trusty Belle de Jour Power Planner prove to be practical and useful ones. Read on.

Save or Splurge?

Eyeshadow = Save! If you don't have enough money to buy designer brands, then go for the cheaper alternatives. Just make sure the eyeshadow formula is not chalky. That's what testers are for. Apply it on your hand or arm. If it feels rough and uncomfortable, then try another brand.

Mascara = Save and Splurge! If all you need is daily mascara that you can easily remove, then opt for cheap ones that come with a small brush size. For parties and nights out, spend on waterproof volumizing mascara.

Eyeliner = Splurge! While there are a lot of cheap brands that are good enough for daily wear, you need to invest in branded eyeliners that are gentle on your eye area and don't smudge easily.

Source: Belle de Jour Power Planer 2009

(hmmm... So that's why I keep getting eyeliner smudges... Ok will be looking for branded ones na... sigh...)

Till next :D

Ciao!

Wedding Aftermath: Reality sets in - updating records, accounts etc.

2009-05-22T10:05:00.002+08:00

Below is an excerpt from my post in my yahoogroup Weddings@Work. It basically summarizes what we women must deal with after the wedding. I wished there was some kind of primer on this, to guide us... coz admittedly, after Christmas, my December wedding, the family reunions and the New Year honeymoon, it was pretty hard to descend from Cloud 9 and get back to work -- let alone think and organize all the paperwork and updating I had to do.

So here's a summary of what happend in the aftermath of my wedding. May this serve as somewhat of a primer for other soon-to-be-married brides, and may you succeed in carrying this out in a more organized manner than I did. Teehee. Read along. :D

"FIRST: practice na ur married signatures. Kc in the weeks following ur wedding, you'd be updating your records and you will be giving new specimen signatures. So dapat tlga comfortable na kyo sa new sig nyo kc ung specimen signatures nyo ung basis ng mga bank transactions dba? kya dpat maganda na ung sig natin dun. narealize ko to wen I was signing 3 sets of sig cards sa bank. medyo alangan pa ko sa signature ko, and there was even a time na nagsign ako nung old sig ko, kya I asked for another sig card. Practice na tayo mga sis.

SECOND: pra sa mga nag-aask ng monetary gifts, uso na ngayon ang nagbibigay ng cheque. Problem dito is kng nakapangalan ba sa maiden or married names nyo (buti ung iba nakapangalan kay hubby, so ok lng). Ung iba, like samin, Jon and Eva Capistrano nakalagay, so napilitan kmi mag-open ng AND acct pra lng maipasok namin un -- mgr's check kc un. Wat I did for the cheques in my maiden name was I deposited them agad. Then we had to wait for the marriage contract so I can update my bank records before I can deposit those in my married name or ung mga may AND/OR na nkalagay.

THIRD: LTO License/valid Gov't ID with MARRIED NAME. for those who drive, better update your LTO agad, pra magkaron agad kayo ng VALID GOVERNMENT ISSUED ID. Eto ang pinakamadali kunin coz all you need is your marriage contract and your BIR 1904 ata un. The other banks kc want a valid ID na married name na, not just your marriage contract. Malaking ginhawa sakin to nung na-update ko license ko.

FOURTH: credit cards, bank accounts etc. We really have to take time for this. kya ako mtagal bago ko nakumpleto kc hindi ako maka leave ng sunod-sunod after the honeymoon. Best to update bank accounts after you got a valid government issued ID with your married name.

FIFTH: SSS, PHILHEALTH, BIR etc... wala tlga akong kaalam-alam dito sa docs na to, kya super nangapa ako dito. Better talk with your HR/ACCTNG sa ofc pra matulungan kyo with the requirements. side note, wala pa rin akong SSS ID na married, kc sira lahat ng capturing branches nila. GRRRR!

SIXTH: Passport. To-do ko pa rin to, 5 months nako married pro hindi ko pa to naasikaso. Altho ok lng nmn sana hintayin ung renewal, pro kc kelangan sa application ni hubby for immigrant ung married passport ko. haaays.

So eto, summarized na. Just to give you an idea. kc sabog tlga ako nung ginagawa ko ito, wala nmn kc nakapg advise saken ng mga ito, bgla nlng ako tatanungin ng tga acctg namin, "oh, asan na ung sa BIR mo? ok na ba ung Philhealth mo? dpt kc ikaw magpareciv nun eh..." ako prang... "whaa--?!" hahaha!!

hope this helps! lamko usually preps tlga ung focus dito, kya sometimes nattake for granted ung aftermath, kya nga sabog ung pag-asikaso ko dito kc galing christmas, tpos wedding, tpos honeymoon, tpos... waaa! wala nmn ngsbi sakin na ganito pla un hehehe! Icp ko sana pla may Primer din abt this! kya eto nlng contribution ko :D"

Ciao!

Bossing around, are we?

2009-05-21T12:28:00.003+08:00

A fine line exists between bossing around and delegating.

Delegating is when you make the other person feel that he is integral to the group. Bossing around is when you make the other person feel as if a) you’re just passing on a task that is supposed to be yours; b) you feel very superior that he should just do whatever you say without question, because he is a subordinate; c) all of the above.

Whenever the manner of delegating tasks is totally devoid of “Please” or any other word synonymous to it, it is borderline bossing around. The clincher now lies on how you make the other person feel. Do you make him feel inferior, or do you make him feel like a part of a team?

And how about you, what do you feel? Do you feel superior over your subordinates? Do you think you could do better, and therefore do not need to give importance to them and their feelings?

The funny thing is, one doesn’t even have to be a leader or boss to be able to boss others around. Insecure people do this as a defense mechanism. Also, brattinellas do this simply because they have the notion of being the center of the universe – or whichever entity they're currently in (office, family etc). Maangas guys also do this just to prove their machismo, because they have nothing else.

Of course we all have our own reasons. But the general rule is to be humble. The rest will follow.

Ciao!

p.s. I'm not talking about my immediate superior (jemmi) because she is my soul-sister. She knows when to give out a firm order and when not to. And I know her well enough not to misconstrue her actions. (ok na, jemmi? hehehe!)

Bulilit Fever

2009-05-20T13:51:00.004+08:00

By now, most of us must have (at least) heard of Camella Homes' Bulilit TV Commercial, featuring a very cute little girl. If by chance you haven't watched the commercial just yet, here's the link, and see for yourself:

Bulilit TV Commercial on Youtube

This commercial never fails to put a smile in my face... and that of my mom's & dad's faces too. I'm not really obsessed with it, but it's so cute I always want to be reminded of it.

Top things you have done to know if you've got the Bulilit Fever:

1. No matter what you are doing, you rush in front of the TV when the commercial starts
2. You constantly resist the urge to tickle and kiss your TV set when the little girl does the "wide-eyed-innocence" look while eating her meal
3. You downloaded the clip to watch in your laptop/pc
4. You converted the downloaded clip and loaded it in your Ipod
5. Furthermore, you extracted the clips audio and converted it into MP3 to be used as a ringtone
6. You have screen-captured the picture of the bulilit kid.
7. You have made the screen-captured picture the wallpaper of your laptop/pc
8. You have made the screen-captured picture the wallpaper of your mobile phone
9. You have influenced other officemates to like the commercial too
10. You have spent ample time searching Youtube for videos of the cute kid's TV guestings.

Hmmm...not too much, eh?

Yeah yeah. I guess if you put me through a scanner I'd be diagnosed positive of the Bulilit Fever. Hey, but at least, this is one fever I won't mind having.

Bulilit... bulilit... sanay sa masikip.. kung kumilos kumilos... ang liit liit... bulilit...

Ciao!

The Girl in the Purple Scarf

2009-05-19T12:51:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I just watched Confessions of a Shopaholic yesterday.... uh-huh... I know, I'm such a loser, bigtime... But hey, I watched Star Trek in IMAX so I hope some of my loser status could still be redeemed :D

I wonder if I should start writing as The Girl in the Purple Scarf?

Ciao!

Not So Ordinary Billiards Night

2009-05-19T12:26:00.006+08:00

It was payday Friday, and with that usually comes a slew of spontaneous invitations from officemates/friends for a gimmick. Frankly, I try to steer clear of gimmick places and popular restaurants on Payday Fridays because of the crowd -- either you wait to be seated, or you are seated but you're waiting for your food, or you've got your food but you're waiting for extra rice that takes years to serve....

So.. when my officemates suggested billiards at Paeng's, my hubby & I decided to tag along, thinking that since it was still quite early, maybe we could still get tables, and at least it's not some crowded restaurant. We thought we got all things considered -- until I remembered that we were supposed to meet our parents because we were eating out with them. So what to do? what to do? We don't want to keep our parents waiting for an hour while we play billiards... so the next best thing is to...

...bring them along!

Yup. We did. They went.

Initially, our parents were only supposed to look at the bowling rates of Paeng's (we plan to make a career out of bowling haha), but then my hubby asked dad if he wanted to get a separate billiard table. Dad said, sure, it's been a while since he played and so the game commenced...

Mom trying to wing it :D

Dad trying to work around those goddarm balls :D

How often does one get to play billiards with their mom & dad? Dads do, but mothers usually don't. Hehe. So it wasn't an ordinary billiards on payday friday night after all.

Ciao!

Oh yeah, got a new sig :D

2009-05-14T16:59:00.003+08:00

Oh yeah, I just recently learned how to put my signature here. teehee. I've had this signature for quite some time but didn't have the time to learn how to put it here --- until yesterday :D so there.

For those who may be wondering, I have been cross-posting from multiply since last year (meaning I post in multiply and I simply check the box that says "cross-post to blogger" and viola! my post is reposted here!) but for some reason, when I changed my template, the cross-posting doesn't work anymore. Therefore, I was coerced to learn and be familiar with posting here manually. And with that, I found out I could get a signature and whatnot, like I do in my emails. So maybe I'd start pimping my blog now.... We'll see. :D

will be signing my posts with something like this for now (see below) ... until I get bored and change it to another one. LOL.

Ciao!

Don't be a Blinker! blinkblink*

2009-05-14T14:33:00.003+08:00

Who thought something as mundane and as trivial as this could have a definite impact on something important?

TIP for those to be wed or to have their pre-nuptial shoot: Don't blink right after the first flash -- wait for a few seconds more because the photographers are taking follow-up shots...

(I just shared this with my co-w@wies) Ok, here's the thing. Having seen the raw pictures from my wedding, I noticed that the photogs take around 2-4 bursts of shots for a single pose, usually for the important couple shots (like the ones in Church after the ceremony etc..). I noticed that altho most of the 1st shots were good enough, there are times when the smiles are still not that warm and the poses still a bit awkward so I tend to choose the 2nd or 3rd shot of the same pose. However, more often than not, I realized that my hubby had already blinked by then, so his eyes are closed/partially closed in the succeeding shots -- just when the rest of us in the picture were all warmed up and ready. Ergo, I end up settling for whichever shot has all our eyes open, knowing it could have been better if only my hubby (or I) did not blink immediately.

I asked my hubby why his eyes were always closed in the latter shots, and he says after the flash he blinks already because of the glare, not really aware that there were follow up shots.

So especially for the couple, do try to keep from blinking immediately after the flash goes off. Remember that this event won't happen again, and it would really have an impact later when you start to pick through the hundreds of pictures to put in your final album.

ciao!

Got bored, chopped my hair and (gasp!) almost Kissed A Girl?

2009-05-05T10:32:00.004+08:00

I got bored with my hairdo.... so I stomped over at David's and had them chop my hair off, complete with sided "bengs" as my stylist said. Lol. I also got myself a new pair of specs (eyeglasses), since I realized that my last eye check-up was dated 2004 (eek!). I guess that explains my headaches and nausea.

Haircut by David's
Eyeglasses by Charles + jacob eyestudio (eo-executive optical)
Background by yours truly (yeah, literally, since those binders you see are my project documents etc...)

Oh and I said I "almost" Kissed A Girl coz I almost looked like the song's singer, Katy Perry. Long face, short bob with bangs. LOL. Gotcha.

(did u honestly think I literally kissed a girl? ..... yeah ok, i did, but not now! i'm married! teehee.)

Free Doughnut & Coffee!!

2009-04-30T16:18:00.001+08:00

I got free doughnuts & coffee from Krispy Kreme, thanks to Dina from ePLDT who gave me a coupon for free Chocolate Glazed Doughnut and Coffee. Thanks Dins!!!

Oooops... I Thot this was a barkada pic! (teehee)

2009-04-18T12:53:00.001+08:00

I was finalizing my wedding pictures for the final album when I came across this picture:

OKAAAAY. So I admit that for a moment I kinda forgot about being a bride.... Or maybe I thought it was normal for brides to do that with their coin-bearer /inaanak... Or maybe it was an instinctive reaction to my inaanak doing the "Korean peace" thing... Or maybe... maybe I just had to let my hair down and not care if this was normal or not -- I just really felt like goofing around with my inaanak. Hehehe.

Whichever way, this is absolutely one of my favorite shots during my wedding.

Kudos to my photographer's team for capturing this moment. (I guess no matter how hard I try to hide it, i still tend to lose some poise in front of the cam.)

Strolling along the....huh? Is this the airport?

2009-04-08T12:58:00.000+08:00

Take a look at this picture.

This actually reminds me of HK's airport (where my friends and I spend a lot of time waiting)... or Naia Terminal 3 (where my hubby and I spent a lot of time waiting too).

Having in mind that I seem to have a history of waiting (and therefore strolling) through airports, this picture could very well be just one of them. Right?

Wrong. This ain't no airport. This is the newly opened SM Marikina (opened September 2008, they said.)

Yep, see the bottom part of the "airport" facade is a Wall climbing activity by a sports shop, sponsored by Tribu. The partially obscured back of the guy in blue by the pillar is actually my husband, wishing to heck he's one of those climbing those walls.

It even had a Philippine flag, and an SM flag, if you look closely at the first picture. LOL!

I love the high ceiling effect. But the stores aren't that many. It's not that big, actually, and it lacks one important store: DAIRY QUEEN. hmp. Plus, the foodcourt is small! Even less than half the foodcourt in SM Southmall. Of course, the ambiance is nowhere near that of Southmall. Wish they would revamp SM Southmall too. :D

Wanna Try?

2009-03-28T11:24:00.000+08:00

I heart Krispy Kreme! Unfortunately, I have yet to buy the tin can thingie... maybe this coming payday tho...

I especially luuurve their Hersheys Special Dark Chocolate doughnut...

ok that's it, where's the nearest Krispy Kreme outlet here in Las Piñas?!?!??

MV Doulos -- Floating Bookstore, Floating Inspiration

2009-03-17T20:05:00.000+08:00

" BRINGING KNOWLEDGE, HELP AND HOPE
TO THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD."

"Doulos visits port cities throughout the world, supplying vital literature resources, encouraging inter-cultural understanding, training young people for more effective life and service, promoting greater global awareness, providing practical aid and sharing a message of hope in God wherever there is opportunity."

I was very lucky to have visited MV Doulos last Saturday, 14 March. My brother-in-law just heard about the floating bookstore and suggested we go there the next time we get together (yeah he knew I loved books -- ok, ok, that I am addicted to books). I had no idea how lucky we were at that time, since there were no lines in the entrance. I actually doubted if a lot of people knew about them -- but I was wrong :D

Err... ok.. that doesn't seem like a LOT of people, but that's because I was too excited to browse the books to actually take a good picture. haha! Trust me, the deeper into the deck you go, the more suffocating it becomes... not to the point of fainting of course, but enough to make you sticky and sweaty with all the people pushing everywhere and browsing titles. BUT if you have an insatiable hunger for books (who, me?), you'd hardly notice anything else since your eyes would be rolling from one shelf to the other, looking for familiar titles and prospective reads.

Ok, they were primarily inspirational/spiritual books, a LOT of children's books, and health/diet recipe books. There were also trivia books, Do-It-Yourself books and souvenirs. Plus I found a shelf full of hardbound Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mystery novels, which I am currently seriously regretting not buying. They were just P250/pc! Imagine, a hardbound novel? You could hardly find Nancy Drew in bookstores now, right? Plus, I saw a John Grisham (i think, not really a fan though) hardbound novel for just P500. AAAAAAARGH. stupid stupid me for not bringing more money. Believe it or not, the first book I ever picked up to buy was an inspirational book for my mom & dad. It was in abundance. I would also have loaded myself with disney activity books for P100-P300 bucks -- if only I had kids. It was such a shame I couldn't buy more!!

But I did manage to buy a couple (okay, 3 of them) of mystery novels -- they were classified as juvenile fiction (read: for teenagers) but the stories were good for me too (yep, I already finished 2 of them yesterday). Plus I got a free MV Doulos eco-friendly bag! a very nice souvenir. For a more personalized souvenir shot, here I am...

...beside one of the lifeboats hahaha! I made sure I knew where they were, and how to use them:

Better be safe than sorry! hahaha, kidding! Oh yeah, pardon the pictures -- I was merely using my phone's camera.

Here's picture of the boat from below:

and here's the view of the... uhrm... chimney-like thingie up there:

Yep, it says there "GBA", which, from their website, used to stand for "Good Books for All". This private, non-profit organization was registered in Germany -- with the intention of spreading the love -- through this boat.

Unfortunately, my officemate recently stumbled upon an article which said that the boat would be retiring in 2010 -- so this may be its last voyage to the Philippines.....

To the MV Doulos crew, kudos to you for spreading hope and love to the world.

May there be a Doulos II in the future.

For those who are interested, MV Doulos is at Pier 13 until the end of this month. They are near Eva Macapagal Super Terminal. Just ask any of the guards at the Pier, they know.

Capistrano - Dueñas Supplier Ratings: Illustrated version!

2009-02-17T11:59:00.000+08:00

Dahil Computer Science kmi pareho ni Jon, is will :

* Quad-Core Processor: Excellente! Exceeds , sulit ang binayad kasi ibang level ang powers!

* Core 2 Duo Processor: Very Good! Meets expectations and sulit sa bayad. Performed well, with possible minor glitches.
* Dual Core Processor: Good. Performed as expected with moderate hassles.
* Pentium 4 Processor: Slow, causes delay. Did not perform as expected.
* Pentium 1 Processor: Worthy of the junkyard.

Suppliers

Church: Mt. Carmel Shrine
Officiating Priest: Rev. Fr. Arnie Boehme, OCD
Pocket Damage: P10k as of July 2007
Remarks:

The Church was magnificent, as usual. Maaliwalas tlga, with a very very long aisle. The altar is also beautiful. Plus points for the long aisle, and plus points to the non-suffocating surroundings. Plus points for the triquetra symbol (the one used in Charmed TV series) carved on the arc by the altar. Minus points to the echoing sound system that makes the voices sound garbled.

Final Verdict: Core 2 Duo!

***
Reception: Fr. Mark Horan Hall
Contact Person: Ms. Lisa
Pocket Damage: P15k + additional charges
Remarks:

Nagulat lng ako sa additional P2,500 charge samin on the day. Bakit kya kami pinagbayad ng P1,000 for the “excess use of the hall”? Although ung P1,500 for the use of electricity for lights and sounds, nasabihan na kami before, hindi lng nasingil samin nung nag final payment kami. Pero sa excess use of the hall, I’m not sure what that was for… maybe that’s because mga 3:30 pm na kami natapos?. *Shrug* Anyway ok lng kasi basically mura pa din ung rental sa hall.

Final Verdict: Core 2 Duo!

***
Caterer: Eloquente Catering Services
Contact Person: Grace Contante
Pocket Damage: approx P150k for 260pax, Carnation Package
Remarks:

Eloquente delivered more than I expected. The flowers were nice, the entire hall was nice, the amenities were complete, I love the cake, the couple’s table and the backdrop were really prettier than I expected, the VIP tables were gorgeous (parang gusto ko nga lumipat dun eh hahaha). And most importantly, THE FOOD WAS GREAT! Unfortunately, hindi ako mashadong naka-kain, pero I was pleasantly surprised sa feedback of most if not all of the guests I’ve spoken to. Masarap daw tlga ang food, and nabusog daw tlga sila. Waaa buti pa sila! Hehe! So far, all that we talked about with Grace was carried out, medyo nagkulang lng ata ng konti sa styro packaging kya hindi na-pack ng mabuti ung wedding cake. Pero sulit tlga everything sa Eloquente. Ang pinakamaganda nyan, hindi sila mahal, compared to the other accredited caterers ng Hall – or to other caterers in general.

Final Verdict: Quad-Core!! Recommended tlga!

***
Photographer: Jomel Gregorio Photography
Contact Person: Jomel Gregorio
Pocket Damage: approx P60k
Remarks:

Jomel is an artist. He’s young, he has talent, he has the eye, he’s got the potential. True enough, lumabas ang artistry nya when we had our Military-themed prenup pictorial. He also has another talent – Tintography. He prints out a picture in black and white, and then using a special mixture of materials, he paints the picture by hand. This is included in our package, and I’m very excited about it. As of now, I haven’t seen the proofs of the wedding pix, pero I’ve seen previews from his camera after the wedding, and I was amazed with what I saw. Grabe ung shots nya, our posing was so simple yet he was able to do something about it. Ewan ko ba how they do it! Of course wait and see pa ako sa final album, which will be months from now, pero so far, I can give a preliminary verdict…

Update: I have seen (and posted here) the official pix from my wedding, and i luuuuurve them! especially the contemporary photography and the candid moments!

Final Verdict: Quad-Core!!

***
Videographer: Reality Wedding Videos
Contact Person: Buddy Gancenia
Pocket Damage: approx P40k, with Onsite video + free projector
Remarks:

To say that Buddy has talent is a definite understatement. Grabe and powers nito, ibang level. This past couple of hours, Jon & I have been watching our Onsite video for several times and we never get tired of it – and Buddy never fails to amaze us talaga. I have no idea where he got those shots, or how I managed to look good in those shots (of course my make-up artist was very good too. Kya lng minsan hindi ako camera-genic eh). How he weaved the videos into a story is a product of vast experience with the 2 largest networks in the Philippines, plus training in editing reality TV with Endemol, the company that brought Big Brother to ABS-CBN. Buddy is definitely recommended!!

Final Verdict: Quad-Core!!
***
OTD Coordinator: Luciole Events Coordination
Contact Person: Sol Ogatis
Pocket Damage: P10k
Remarks:
I love Luciole!!! They really took care of me. I love sol and I owe their team a lot din when it came to the success of the wedding. There were minor glitches, na they were sorry for and they explained to me, pero it was actually not a big deal for me, kasi I didn’t have to worry about the small details sa wedding, they took care of it. Other people may say other things, like hindi daw sila nabigyan ng souvenirs etc, pero I know they’re just a small percentage of the guests. I understand all the things that the coordinators had to do, so things like that, I don’t mind. As long as na-turn over sakin lahat afterwards. Nakakahiya pa nga kasi nag-abono si Luciole ng more than P4k kasi hindi ko naibilin ung balance ko dun sa brownie supplier. So sila muna nagbayad. Buti nlng may cash sila!

Final Verdict: Quad-Core!! Great find to!

***
Florist: Angel of Hearts
Contact Person: Lawrence dela Rosa
Pocket Damage: P11k for bridal bouquet, 4 BM, 3 SS, 6 PS, 4 FG flower baskets with bears & headdress (teddy bears provided)
Remarks:

I’m not a flower person. So I wasn’t particular with what kind of flowers to be used for my bouquet, although Lawrence & I agreed on imported calla lilies. My only specification was the bouquets of my entourage be purple, fuschia pink and orange. The night before the wedding, Lawrence called me up, telling me may kasalanan daw cya, kasi out-of-season na ang calla lilies. Talagang nag super sorry cya sakin, ako nmn, no problem bsta may maipalit cya. Sabi ko, ok lng bsta red/magenta lng ung color. Sabi ko sa knya, “Surprise me nlng Lawrence.” Sabi nya, “Yes ma’am, promise, gagandahan ko tlga bouquet nyo.” So I trusted him and didn’t worry about it na. The next day, when the flowers came, ayun ang bouquet ko… bonggang bonggang Equadorian Roses chorvalu, na may inserts na purple. Wow, ang ganda, sabi ko. Ung red nya prang may lining na whitish. Bsta, maganda talaga! At ung sa entourage ko, as discussed nung nag-mock up. And if I’m not
mistaken, prang may sobrang bridal car bouquet pa nga eh, although provided na un ni Eloquente. Naka-free offertory flowers pa ako, nilagay pa nila sa basket. O ha? Ok tlga kausap itong c Lawrence!

Final Verdict: Quad-Core!!

***
Wedding Ring Supplier: Suarez Wedding Rings
Branch: SM Mall of Asia branch
Pocket Damage: a little less than P20k, with 5 stones for me & 3 bigger stones for Jon
Remarks:

Madali kausap, lalo na mga Cebuana hehehe. Lifetime warranty, customizable everything etc etc. I decided to go with them kasi may branch sila sa MOA hehehe. And dati ko pa din gusto kumuha sa kanila. Mas accessible kasi sa MOA. I didn’t know where the other wedding ring suppliers were based. I also like their lifetime warranty eh, although others may also have that. May lay-away / installment plan din sila, so easy on the pocket. They also delivered earlier than the expected date. No hassle tlga kami sa knila.

Final Verdict: Core 2 Duo!
***
Lights & Sounds Supplier: RejectKrew
Contact Person: Elmer Bautista
Pocket Damage: P6k
Remarks:

Sobrang dali kausap at sobrang galang ni Elmer. We never had a problem with him. We just called him up a couple of days before the wedding pra “kunchabahin” sa surprise dance number namin. During the event, he did a good job looking “innocent” about the unexpected change of music, that even Luciole panicked hehehe!!! His music were on-cue, his lights were great and added to the “hotel-like” ambiance of the Hall. Sila din ung naglagay ng moodlights sa backdrop ng couple's table, kaya ang ganda ng effect! Magaling tlga itong si Elmer & his team!!

Final Verdict: Core 2 Duo! Recommended!!
***
Church Choir: Our Lady of Lourdes Choir
Contact Person: Cheene Geraban
Pocket Damage: P5k
Remarks:

They’re the classmates of Jon’s cousin in Nursing school. Medyo napaisip lng ako kasi hindi pa kami nagkakausap nung group a couple of weeks before kasi may prelims sila. Nagkausap lng kami a little before Christmas. Ok nmn sila kausap, natuwa ako sa acoustic version nila ng “Your Love” by Alamid, which is the favorite song of Jon. Pinakanta nmin during the processional. And my Bridal March was also sung beautifully. Ok nmn sila.

Final Verdict: Core 2 Duo! Talented kids!

***
Hair & Makeup Artist: Pam & Allan (Franck Provost)
Contact Person: Pam Pangan
Pocket Damage: P10k, bride + 2 heads
Remarks:

Pam was my classmate back in highschool, which is why I’m very very proud of her talent. From the trial makeup for Meenah’s wedding to my actual makeup during the wedding day, tlgang approved na approved ng relatives ko. My mom was very happy with her makeup din, hindi nag-iba ang fez nya. Recently kasi nagpa-makeup cya sa parlor, nag-iba ung fez nya eh. With Pam, hindi. She uses all MAC etc etc. Hindi nalulusaw ang makeup and kahit 6:30 a.m. nya ako minakeupan, maganda pa din makeup ko as of 10:30 pm. I love the falsies that she gave me, prang ayoko na nga tanggalin eh haha! I sooo luurve this girl! Allan, who does the hair, again worked magic on my hair. Ewan ko ba, ang bilis lng nya ginawa, pero complicado ang itsura ng buhok ko altho prang effortless lng sa knya. Medyo nahirapan lng ata cya sa bangs kong pasaway. Otherwise, my hair was gorgeous. Prang isang supot ng hairpin pla ang ginamit nya sakin kya pla kahit tumalon-talon ako hindi natanggal
buhok ko. Dynamic Duo ito!

Final Verdict: Quad-Core!!!
***
Invitation: Do-It-Yourself (Layout)
Contact Person: J-Fav Printing Haus c/o Jemmi Trinidad
Pocket Damage: Pro Bono! c/o Jemmi Trinidad
Remarks:

Jusko nmn ang dugo’t pawis ko sa pag layout ng invitation na ito. I really wanted a fun and colorful invitation, something unique and unlike the usual wedding invitations. Every element, every flower, border, background etc. found on the invitation was done by manual layout through Adobe Photoshop. I’ve been doing the invitations as early as September, and I finished around first week of December. My close friend Jemmi offered to print and produce the invitations as her wedding gift for us. So I just sent the JPG file of the pages of the invitation for the printing, cutting, folding and pasting done by Jemmi’s contact. Thank you Jemmi!!

Final Verdict: Core 2 Duo for the production of the invitations. (I refuse to rate my own design eh hehehe. See for yourself nlng :D )

***
Couturier: Anthony of Divisoria
Contact Person: Anthony Agudo
Pocket Damage: approx. P25k for bridal gown, 1 MOH, 4 BM, 3 SS, 4 FG
Remarks:

Anthony’s reputation for being a good gown maker so far remains untarnished as of the moment. My gown was beautiful, the fitting was wonderful, the beadwork was better than I expected tlga. My ento gowns were really beautiful!!! Wala dapat beadwork un, but Anthony put beadwork on it and it was very very pretty! Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect from the ento gowns, since I just decided on the color on my own, without any basis nor picture. Other people criticized me for having Tangerine bolero paired with Fuschia belt. Eh maganda ang kinalabasan, and a lot of people liked the color and contrast of the gowns, so I feel so vindicated haha! Malaki din ang effect nung dinagdag ni Anthony na beadwork, which was just added without additional cost ha! Grabe. The measurements were tricky, though. Most of the measurements done by Anthonny were on the dot. But for the others with measurements done by other mananahi and just passed to Anthony, medyo may
problem ung iba. The usual hassle lng of having gowns made, especially those with measurements done by other modistas. But the over-all effect was fab! I really loved my ento gowns!

Final Verdict: Quad Core!!! Anthony will do everything to make your gown look nice tlga!

***
Emcee: Ms. Cecille Lardizabal
Contact Person: Ms. Cecille Lardizabal of ABS-CBN News & Public Affairs
Pocket Damage: Pro Bono!!!
Remarks:

Ate Cecille was really nice!!! She was obviously experienced in hosting (haller, mas mahirap pa nga ung ginagawa nya everyday on tv) so we had no doubts that she could pull off the program. Napaisip lng kmi at first if she could take time out from her busy schedule to emcee on our wedding. When she gave us her confirmation, nakahinga na kami ng maluwang. And she did great! No below the belt side comments, pero may mga adlib cya kaya hindi boring :D

Final Verdict: Quad-Core!!!
***
Brownie Supplier: Golden Doors Enterprises
Contact Person: Iona Perez
Pocket Damage: approx P8k for 200 pcs. c/o Kuya Gerald
Remarks:

Masarap!!! At maganda packaging!!! In fairness, we found them sa Wedding Expo in PICC forum, and we were surprised na mura lng sila! Buti nlng and they delivered without hassle… and nabayaran sila ni Luciole kasi nakalimutan ko ibilin ung pambayad (oooopsie) hehe.

Final Verdict: Core 2 Duo!

UST Hospital's Billing Department: BAD Customer Service

2008-11-24T12:10:00.000+08:00

Please see below my entire email to UST. I dunno if it will fall on deaf ears, so I'd rather share this with my friends.

November 24, 2008 sent to medicaltourism@usthospital.com.ph:

I want to file a complaint against one staff in your Billing Department, assigned in Window 7. She's an aged lady with a permanent frown on her face. This incident happend last Saturday, November 22. (Kindly check who was in Window 7 on the afternoon of the said date.)

My fiance was diagnosed with Stage III Dengue and has been confined in your hospital since Wednesday afternoon, November 19. Last Saturday, November 22, I wanted to make sure his Philhealth requirements were complete, so I went to the PHilhealth window of your Billing section. The staff there told me I needed to retrieve several documents from our office (my fiance & i are officemates)in order to process his PHIC requirements in time for the billing. The staff in the PHIC window suggested that I could have the remaining documents faxed and I just have to pay them. I frantically called up the office and pleaded with our accounting supervisor to go back to the office and fax documents to the billing section's fax number.

Our acctng supervisor texted me that she already faxed to the said number. I POLITELY asked the lady in Window 7 if she knew where that certain fax number was, because there was an fax for Philhealth. With a sour expression on her face, she got up, checked the fax and handed me 2 pages. I paid for it and then confirmed with our supervisor if it was just 2 pages. She said it was 5 pages, and that the person who answered the fax confirmed having received 5 pages. So I again politely asked the lady in Window 7 if there wasn't any other pages left, and she irritatedly looked at me and said, "Wala na nga eh, yan lng tlga ung andon." I just said thank you and again pleaded with our supervisor to re-fax the 3 remaining pages.

(By this time the pressure on my part was great because our office was already supposed to be closed by this time -- I was the only reason why they couldn't close up.)

Then our supervisor texted me that the billing department's fax line is busy, so she couldn't get through. I approached the lady in Window 7 to supposedly ask if there was another fax number. I barely got the words, "Mam, ung fax po..." when she looked at me and cut me off, "Pra san ba yang pinapafax mo?!" I was stunned and told her, "for Philhealth po." It turns out that the staff in the Philhealth window was talking to someone over the fax line. The lady, assuming that the Philhealth guy was talking to MY office, told me sharply, "Eh un na nga ung kausap nung tga Philhealth eh!! Galit pa nga ata opisina nyo eh! Yun na oh!" she said, her nguso pointing irritatedly to the fax machine. I was barely able to tell her what our company name was when she said , "Oo nga! un nga eh!" so I scrambled out of her window. Confused, I called up our supervisor and asked her if she was on the fax line with UST, but she told me, "Hindi ah, busy nga eh, hirap maka-connect." The lady in window 7 really did not bother to check, she just thought of me as a nuisance, when in fact I used all politeness and pakikisuyo when dealing with her. Despite having a long line, I just made a request to the Philhealth staff to give me a new number, all this time causing delay in our office also.

I would just like to remind you that at that the fact that people are there in the Billing section preparing Philhealth requirements means that someone close to them was/is SICK. Sick enough to get confined and file a claim through Philhealth. Most, if not all, are dealing with paying large sums of money, and so the last thing that we need is MORE STRESS FROM YOUR VERY OWN STAFF -- the very same people who are supposed to guide us on what to do.

For sure, there are some people who may not be as educated as I am who will be asking questions from them, because NOT EVERYBODY IS PRIVY TO THE PROCEDURES OF HOSPITALS. I hate to think what this lady does to other people who seek her help.

Whatever happened to your mission to "provide the best quality healthcare possible, especially to our less fortunate brothers and sisters..."? If that lady in your billing section does not have the patience to deal with a polite and educated person like me, then we can certainly expect she will barely have patience to answer basic questions from those who barely know what to do.

I'd like to turn the tables on her, see what she would do if one of her loved ones got really sick and the hospital billing staff SNUBS her face off and REFUSES to assist her.

I look up to UST Hospital as an institution who will take care of our needs. I was born there, in fact. I hate to lose my respect for it just because you have a dragon lady in your billing department. But unfortunately, it's experiences like these that we tend to remember. Instead of remembering how your nursing staff were prompt in attending to our needs, I'd remember how your billing staff made life hard for me. Yes, I'd remember, and would likely NOT forget. See how important customer service is?

I know I came quite close to losing my fiance, 1 month before our wedding. But I most certainly do not need any further stress from the hospital which saved him.

A very disappointed customer,

Eva

Ola, Chinabank ATM Center!!!

2008-10-22T11:15:00.000+08:00

"ATM Center, good morning, this is evaaaaaa...."

Yup... a little over two years ago this was my morning, noon and afternoon to whoever may be calling our local line. That was the tip of the iceberg for my life at ATM Center.

Having crossed career paths, I have since left the banking industry to join my co-geeks at the IT industry. I've been exposed to several seminars and workshops on IT technology sales -- one of which ironically brought me closer to my previous home.

Yesterday, I "walked the familiar walk" in Makati, towards Fraser Place, for an IT sales workshop. After 8 confusing hours, I texted a former colleague of mine and asked if he wanted to meet up with me by Chinabank's entrance. Mi amigo, King, and another former officemate (and now supervisory trainee) Aimee forced me to go up to get that ATM Center feeling again. I reluctantly agreed, since I knew my former boss was having a meeting in the pantry, and the chances of her seeing me was kinda high. But my reminiscing feeling got the better of me, and we boarded the elevator up to the 14th floor.

By the time I stepped inside the office, it was like a time space warp... Everything was the same... just like my feeling when I went back to my university early this year. I sat near my former table, and my officemate was even showing me what used to be my computer during my eBanking days. I recognized some of the employees there, all of whom shrieked when they saw me, but most of the others there were already after my time. What surprised me was that AJ, the newbie in recon that I helped train as I was leaving, was the most senior recon analyst left in our section....and even she was already resigning...

In the 15 or so minutes I spent there, I made sure to take something with me as proof of my return, haha.

Mommy Jelai, Moi, AJ BadingerZ,
Mi Amigo Kingkong (err... anong ginagawa
mo mi amigo?)....

This time with blo0ming blo0ming Tessa
(wid mi amigo doing the "nguso" look)

...and as I was leaving, one pahabol picture of the gateway to my previous life.... (Oi bakit nga ba wala pang chorva yang christmas tree? dati September pa lng kuntodo borloloy na yang Christmas tree na yan ah!)

Ciao, ATM Center! Till we meet again!

IRONMEN

2008-10-16T18:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, Jemmi & I had lunch at ATC (something we RARELY do) because we wanted to avoid payday lines in ATMs after office hours. I was wearing an Ironman shirt (that i bought at the kids section @ SM). After withdrawing, we were about to go up to Food Choices when Jemmi suddenly suggested, "Burger King?" I immediately agreed and we set out for Burger King's direction. We spotted a two-seater table by the glass wall and I told Jemmi to go and order while I guard our table. As I was nearing the table, I noticed a family (a mom, 2 grandmas and 2 little boys) at our nearby table. Then, as I was about to sit, the younger boy (maybe about 4 yrs old) suddenly pointed at me and shrieked,
"Ummm mama mama mmmmm". (Yeah he was babbling to his mama and pointing at me.)

I was surprised and I initially thought the kid was saying the table was actually occupied by them, so I waited for his mama to say so. But she was equally puzzled and told the boy, "Why baby? No, don't point, don't point!"

But the kid kept on pointing at me even as I was already sitting down. He finally mumbled something like "...Aynyonman..."

So then it dawned on me that he was pointing at my Ironman shirt. I laughed and said,
"Ahh, Ironman?" Pointing to my shirt. His mom and grandmas smiled at me and said, "Ahh, si Ironman pala, hehehe."

So then the kid stopped pointing at me and I was smiling at his family, when my eyes fell on his older brother (who was about 6 or 7 years old). He was sitting in between his two grandmas, and, to my utter disbelief, he was wearing the exact same Ironman shirt I was wearing.

I couldn't help it, I blurted out, "Ay, pareho pla kami ng t-shirt .....!" (gesturing to the older brother)

All at once, the mom and the two grandmas looked from the older brother to me, and laughed heartily, as I was grinning myself. They were saying that was why the younger boy was pointing at me. I commented sheepishly, "Ay, nabubuking kng san ako bumibili ng t-shirt hehe!" and they were smiling at both of us. The older boy even stood up, craned his neck to check out my shirt, smiled widely and said, "We're the same!" "Yes," I answered, smiling back. "We're the same!"

Yes, we were the same... the 7-year old boy and the 27-year old girl were the same. hahahaha! I would have been humiliated if it were an adult, but it was a cute little boy and the incident was d@mn funny. By the time Jemmi got back from the counter, I was struggling to keep a straight face -- moreso while I was telling her the story. She was snickering and glancing at the boy then at me, causing the boy to look at me and "our" shirt and smile again.

My only regret was that I wasn't able to take a picture with the boy -- I was really tempted to ask for a picture for my blog but I wasn't sure how his mom would react -- knowing some moms are overprotective when it comes to the exposure of their kids over the Internet.

Nevermind the 20-year age gap... it only took one shirt to turn me into a 7-year old kid -- nevermind if it was a boy. Haha!

See for Yourself: Pinoy Dream Academy's Miguel vs. Liezl

2008-09-15T17:11:00.000+08:00

Here you go. found vids of 3rd placer Miguel's performance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FBmS7lzVjc

And 4th placer Liezel's performance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouWYR8aPmv4

see for yourselves, and ponder if the placements were indeed agreeable.

Pinoy Dream Academy Season 2 Results: What the heck happened?

2008-09-15T05:54:00.001+08:00

1. Laarni 2. Bugoy 3. Miguel 4. Liezl 5. Van 6. Chris

I wanted Bugoy to win. But when he didn't, i was surprised that someone with an attitude problem won. I do hope the young ones won't think that it's ok to be pasaway coz even they can win a prestigous competition like this.

However, as this is a talent competition, not a school for good manners and right conduct, I grudgingly accept Laarni's victory, seeing that the girl indeed has TALENT, and lots of it. I just hope she improves that attitude of hers.

Let me reiterate, this is a TALENT COMPETITION. Which is why, what I CANNOT ACCEPT is the fact that Liezl is merely 4th place. How in the world did Miguel manage to win 3rd place?!?!

Ahhhh. Text votes. Yes. The power of the people.

Ok, let me suppress the urge to burst with sour personal opinion and stick to the facts:

Attitude: Liezl was generally charming. Miguel was ok too, actually, except for the fact that he voted for himself as being number 1 when it was obvious that at least 1 scholar was better than him. Altho one teacher DID say that they should aspire to be the "Big Dreamer"...but aspiration is different from reality.Ok, this part could be subjective. But read on.

Talent: Liezl had been star scholar for several weeks in a row. Did Miguel ever become top scholar? (I'm really asking, i'm not sarcastic). If he has, was it as often as Liezl? No one can deny these facts.

Gala Night Performance: Miguel has a good voice. He's like Jay-R and is good for RnB grooves and stuff. Liezl is a performer. Her rendition of Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T rocked the house. Mr. Ryan Cayabyab & Mr. Joey Reyes were dancing in their seats!!!! The crowd went wild -- listen to the applause (is it on youtube now?) And it was also obvious from Toni Gonzaga's comment about the people giving respect to Liezl. The crown obviously loved it. Check youtube, if the video's up. Judge for yourself.

So can anyone please tell me what Miguel has that Liezl doesn't? What did he do to surpass Liezl?

Except for money for text votes, that is.

(I mean, it's not like Eric Santos who really WOWED the crowd during his final performance, right?)

(My blog, my rant, but i'm sure i share the same thoughts with a lot of people.)

How do you know if he's 'The One'?

2008-08-05T12:48:00.000+08:00

My soul-sister (who is currently based in Hawaii) and I had a semi-sensible chat a couple of days ago... I was bugging her to come back home and we were talking about my wedding preparations when she suddenly said,

"actually, yan nga ang madalas kong tanong sa mga kakilala kong ikakasal 4:35 PM
pano nila nalaman na yung tao na yun ang "the one" 4:35 PM "

Hmmm... this was a challenge to say in less than a hundred words (hey it's hard to chat using long paragraphs ha) but I knew I had the answer. She even followed it up with,

"di ko alam kung kelangan may magical feeling 4:35 PM"

Kasi nmn daw, nagtanong cya sa mga kaibigan nya, and more often than not, their reply will just be,

"Bsta, alam mo lng..." or "Hindi ko maexplain eh..." So ibig daw ba sabihin, pag na-explain mo ung feeling hindi sya ung "the one"?!?

Hindi nmn dba?

So then, I replied,

"...there's no magical feeling tlga. It's the peace, contentment and happiness you feel with the person and the feeling of wanting to grow old with him 4:42 PM
It's seeing a future with him, not a fairy tale future but a real one, with kids, problems, triumphs 4:42 PM
it's looking forward and seeing yourself on a rocking chair, simply talking with him during your golden years 4:43 PM
it's being able to, as you said, have a mature kind of relationship wherein you complement each other, you understand each other and you have a certain level of trust that you haven't experienced with anyone. 4:43 PM
it's being secure when you're with him, knowing that you can entrust your life and your future kids' lives in his hands, knowing fully well that he will be able to take care of you 4:44 PM
i know these are ideal scenarios, pero dba, if deep in your heart you cannot see these things with that person, ibig sabihin may doubts pa tlga"

So hindi nmn mala nobela ang sagot ko. as I said, pigil pa ako jan dahil mahirap sa chat. Pero I'm happy to say na sobrang naintindihan ako ng aking soul-sister coz she feels the same way for her current boyfriend, whom I really like for her, and whom I really do believe is the one for her. (at hindi din malaki ang bayad ng bf nya sakin for saying this ha... dahil binigyan ko cya discount sa service fee ko eh haha!)

So how do you know if he's the one? sometimes its as if we cannot quantify it in terms of words or descriptions -- maybe because we cannot find enough conflicts or differences that stand out and make us believe he is NOT the one. (you know, the kind of negating reasoning where you prove that the coffee is hot by stating that it is not cold)...

But don't you think that it could also be the overwhelming feeling of peace, that you cannot think of how to put it into words because maybe there are simply no need for words.

My soul-sister mentioned that I have been the only one who had given her a straight answer. Well, it is probably due to the fact that I am quite articulate myself -- however it doesn't mean that those who could not give an answer are already mistaken or confused. It might just mean they can't put it into words, dba?

I'm happy for those who truly believe they have found their "One".

I believe I have found mine too...

in fact, he's marrying me soon... :D

Powt, come home na! I need your measurements, and I need my kaladkaring friend back! :D

Please help find this 3 yr old boy who was abducted last night...

2008-07-24T05:47:00.000+08:00

Please help find this boy... This was posted in my yahoo groups and I saw the news about him on TV last night... here's the link of his tita's multiply site:

http://melquita.multiply.com/photos/album/348/HELP_My_Nephew_Was_Abducted

Here's the blog post. Please do visit the blog to see pictures of
the kid... and pray tayo for his safety, he's sick pa nmn... sana makita na cya!

Spread the word nlng po...

Eva

----------------------------------------------------------

My pamangkin, Kuya Ken's son Matthew, where we took the other half of the business namesake was abducted last night at Festival Mall in Alabang.

Name: Matthew" Chu-chu" David Samudio
Age: 3 Years Old, Can barely speak straight.
Address: 16 guyabano st umali rd. summitville subdivision putatan muntinlupa city 1770

He was last seen at Tom's World Arcade in Festival Mall Alabang, around 8pm yesterday July 22, 2008 wearing Green Checkered Polo, Maong pants and Green Mr. Bean Slippers.

When we reviewed the surveillance camera in said mall, there was this chubby impoverished looking girl around 12-13 years old wearing a dirtied pink top with floral design and a reddish jogging pants who summoned my nephew and then whispered something to him, then my pamangkin who is very "bibo" readily took her hand as they went out of the said premises.

Guys, I need your help with this, if you know people in the media, police or government agency who might be able to HELP us locate my nephew, I'm begging you, please, please help us. Or at the very least, please pass this message to as many people as possible, who knows where the abductors might have taken him... Matthew is a very sickly kid, he rarely eats unless his yaya feeds him and he was about to have an operation for fluid in his right testis.

If there are any news or lead that can locate my nephew, please help us... Sobrang kawawa ang pamangkin ko, who knows how they are treating him...I dont want this thing happening to any kid so please help my nephew. PLEASE. You can contact my brother at 0923-638-4632.

Thank you so much and God Bless you!

“I Got Your Back.” – A Military Themed Prenup

2008-07-18T04:58:00.001+08:00

“I Got Your Back.” – A Military Prenup Pictorial

The Beginning…

When Jomel first pitched in the idea of having a Military themed prenup pictorial, my first question was, what gave him the idea? He simply said we could pull it off, because he could see it in my fiancé Jon’s aura that he’s the military type, plus he observed that being a gun-toting chick seemed to suit me. I was impressed, since he was right on both counts without even knowing that,

Jon was a former corps commander back in high school and
I’ve always wanted to be Lara Croft. (haha.)

Realizing that both Jon & I could actually put our secret identities out in the open even for just a day, I put my foot down. This is it, the Ooomph! concept that I have been waiting for. Thus, with no further objection from either party, the Military concept was born.

The Execution…

Then came the grueling part of putting together the costumes (Recto shopping, anyone?) and contacting one of Jon’s groomsmen who is, let’s just say, an “Army Officer” in Camp Aguinaldo (Yep, classified information). He said he could get us in, and, well, we’ll take it from there.

After much anticipation, we arrived at Camp Aguinaldo. Camp? I thought a camp was like a campus, like my school. But this, this was actually more of a city, with long winding roads leading to narrow grasslands with abandoned warehouses on one end and nice looking barracks lined on the other end. Then there were several big schools, a church, plus the Department of National Defense building, and a grandstand. After getting lost trying to follow the instructions of the personnel at the gate, we finally met up with our main man Jay (the groomsman/officer). After changing to our battle gear costumes, Jay led us to our first location. It was perfect – the tanks, choppers, the works. It had everything Jomel needed to work on.

First Location : Those that Run or Fly

This was one of the first few shots we had. I have never had a professional photo shoot before (of course except for my grad pictures) so everything was a new experience for me – the costumes, the pro photographer, the tank I was sitting on… Hmm.. but I don’t know about my fiancé, Jon. He seems comfortable enough!

Lara Croft meets Guile. Workin’ it by the humongous tank behind us.

This shot was actually easy enough for us. We just had to stand and look back. But what I didn’t realize was it was kinda hard for Jomel, since he had to crouch down low to get this angle. I swear the barrel of that tank didn’t look that big when we were standing below it (or maybe it was? Hmmm…).

The concept for this shot was just relaxing by the chopper, and I think that was what Jon was doing. Hahaha.

If the concept of the previous shot was “relaxing by the chopper”, I’m guessing the idea behind this one is “flirting by the chopper”. That exchange of smiles beyond words is very natural between the two of us. I’d say we were already relaxed and really ourselves during this shot – of course, except for the gun-dangling-from-our-hands part. No, we don’t usually do that. Haha!

I think my fiancé almost swept me off my feet with this one. :D

It is actually in these series of shots (with me wearing Jomel’s G-Shock watch!) that we came up with the title for this blog, “I Got Your Back”, primarily because in the shot above, I seemed to be looking out for enemies (while trying to transform into catwoman), while in the next shot…

Jon looks like a real swat operative trying to cover for me while I’m lounging by the wings – literally. While in real life, especially in marriage, husbands and wives are supposed to “cover each other’s backs”, giving what the other may need in order to fill in each other’s shortcomings. Yes, I know, it’s always easier said than done, either in Military or in Marriage.

Women sometimes have to take control. Sometimes lang! (IF we can help it hehehe!)

By this time we were feeling the heat of the sun and the humidity around us. Luckily, the ambiance of the shots was supposed to be hot and humid!

We were actually resting at this time. I was telling my fiancé that I was feeling hungry and thirsty, and he was telling me we would get something to eat after the shoot. This was, for me, the most relaxed shot, since we were just chillin’ down there… yep, right under the military tank looming over us! Relaxing, eh?

Jon Bond and his Bond Girl playin’ it hot under the scope! I can’t imagine how Jomel even thought about this shot. There was a replica for a certain type of artillery that had scopes. Jomel went behind the scope and simply instructed Jon and me to stand in front and to kiss. We had no idea what he was trying to do until he showed us the proofs. Nice, huh?

To the naked eye, this is simply a kiss through a chopper’s window. But as with every picture, this one also has a story to tell. Both Jomel and Jon told me that if you look closely, the seats inside the chopper had traces of bloodstains on it. Of course, I didn’t want to take another look inside, but it nevertheless got me wondering, how many lives were lost and saved inside this chopper? As I look into this picture, what comes to mind is a whole new life with a whole new meaning for my fiancé and I, as seen through life and loss, war and gain, joy and sorrow.

Second Location: The Unmentionable

So we packed up from our first location and drove around and round the Camp, trying to find our main man Jay’s contacts if they’d let us access to their trucks. The concept of the second location will be involving a military truck, whether in a garage or warehouse or parking lot. The problem was, the only military trucks we usually see are either running towards us or parked in areas we don’t have access to. Besides, photographing military logistics is dangerous, lest we give bad elements an idea of what’s inside, right? So we almost gave up on our mission to have a truck shoot when Jay, the dedicated friend that he is, really really sought person after person until finally, after almost an hour of driving around and talking to lots of comrades, Jay finally gave us the go signal. We were in! Thus, the location of these shots is, yes, unmentionable.

Jomel went around the location a few times, trying to conceptualize possible shots given what we had. He had to forego the floodlights, since there was no readily available socket and having bright lights would attract unwanted attention. Thus, we had to shoot in near darkness, with light illuminating only from one corner of the place.

This shot was done in almost darkness, courtesy of a military jeep’s sidemirror.

This is how we’d look like if someone spied on us using night vision lenses. So how did it feel to be sitting on the fender of a bad-a$$ military truck? Let’s just say if I lose my balance, it won’t be a pretty sight. I was struggling to keep my balance in this shot, while my fiancé was effortlessly displaying his machismo at my back.

Hmm… Wanna know what Jon was doing by the military truck in the dark? You’re guess is as good as mine! (This was one of Jomel’s creative shots, where we ended up really laughing afterwards.)

Our “Prenup meets FHM” shot. Lean over. Project. Grab her leg. This was one of the last few shots for the night, and one of the shots I felt comfortable in.

A tender moment captured by the window frame of the military truck. This was not scripted – we simply thought Jomel was still adjusting his camera and doing test shots.

Pain and weakness. That admonishing look I got there is one I’d give anybody who would cause pain to my loved one. (I didn’t think I could pull off this emo shot, since I wasn’t used to “emoting” in front of the camera. Good thing Jomel didn’t pressure me into it. He simply told me the concept, and demonstrated how I was supposed to look at him, and viola! Emo shot.)

This set (in the unmentionable location) was done in around half an hour since we were in a restricted place. But from the output, no one would ever guess we were under time pressure.

After a grueling half day we wrapped up just as rain started to fall. Finally, Jon and I, our main man Jay, our photographer Jomel and his assistant heartily had a (long overdue) dinner in one of the lutong bahay canteens inside the Camp.

Whoa. It all happened so fast as I realized it was back to reality the next day. It was a very different experience, something I never thought I would have to go through. It was worth all the preparations, the conceptualization, the heat and exhaustion. It was worth the fatigue Jon & I experienced as we all went back to work the next day.

As I look back at these pictures, I would always recall the stories behind it, the trouble we had to go through to do it… As the cliché goes, “Pictures mean a thousand words” but I beg to disagree. I attempted to tell each picture’s story with this blog, and I have currently reached 1,621 words (and counting), but I know I could never put everything into writing. Each picture’s story is not in a document but is in my heart, expressed not through words but through emotions, and saved not as a file but as memories. Something that even a crashed hard drive could not take away from me.

To the three J’s who were instrumental in this Prenup Shoot:

Thank you Jomel, for capturing the memories.

Thank you Jay, for allowing us to have those memories.

And thank you Jon, for these memories, and the more to come.

DLSU: 6 years after my college life ended

2008-06-21T09:08:00.003+08:00

Jeez. It's been 6 friggin' years?! Yeah, I guess so...

I went back to DLSU on an official business trip: To submit payment and finalize confirmation that my office is joining their Job Expo... The same Job Expo that gave me my first job in Chinabank. The last time I was in a DLSU Job Expo was when I was one of the students collecting application forms and hoping for a free pen or candy from the companies (anyone remember accenture and their cute pens? haha). Now, we're the ones giving out application forms -- I'm not sure of the freebies though!

So then from the moment I got past the guard in South gate, it was a trip down memory lane for me... Luckily I blended with the students since I was wearing the standard school outfit of jeans, baby tee and flip flops. I made a quick stop at the Alumni Office to have my DLSAA card renewed. I relished waiting in line at the accounting department when I paid the Job Expo slot and the DLSAA card renewal fee. I had to shuttle back and forth between the buildings to submit receipts for the Job Expo and stuff. Then I became aware of the one thing that was distinctly different from the time I was there -- it was looming over me, and I was properly impressed by its presence...

The Yuchengco Building.

I vaguely remember it being basically complete while I was doing my undergrad thesis. But it just dawned into me I have never been inside it.

Past it, I managed to take a shady picture of the SJ walk... one of the spots where I used to just sit with my friends and people-watch...

It was the same... after all this years, the feeling was still the same... I couldn't believe I was there, and I could have been easily one of the students on their first week back in school... Looking for textbooks and writing notes in their new filler notebooks (for those who actually make notes, like me).

I don't know if other people could relate, and I'm fairly sure it's normal to have a torrent of emotions flooding through me at that time.. It was surreal, because I started to take in the familiar surroundings, I started to feel like one of them again, one of the students who had to face textbooks and quizzes and machine projects... I clearly remembered me and my friends walking through the very halls I was walking on, going to get something to eat in breaks between classes. I haven't been able to go to our building itself since it was far and I had limited time, but I bet it would all the more be surreal.

In a burst of Animo spirit, I bought a little something I've been meaning to buy: a DLSU jacket. I got the one from the Marketing department, a track jacket with modern DLSU initials...

Oh, and catch the renewed DLSAA ID. Hah. I could now go anywhere I wanted to, on campus.

So there. I may have left school to conquer (conquer? more like creep into) the corporate world. But I realized, all the more at that time, that unless the experiences were traumatic, you never really leave your college life behind...

Somehow, it will still be there, ready to be re-lived and resurrected even with a simple sniff of old college campus air....

Animo La Salle!!!

Gangsters @ Ronco Beach Resort: Disturbing the Peace Part III

2008-05-30T21:06:00.014+08:00

The morning after...

I woke up to a fairly sunny day...

Most of us were already up and about. We ate leftovers from last nyt's feast, along with leda's chiz whiz packs.

The beach was more or less beside a mountain, and the beach house we were staying at was more or less resting on that mountain. So the owners of the beach put up a steep walkway at the back of the house going up the mountain (I'm just calling it a mountain for lack of a better term, but it was hardly a mountain). Up there was a platform where the scenery is better. The group hung out there right after breakfast... nagpapababa ng kinain, so to speak.

Yup, that's Tarzan over there.

After the morning hike, the group decided to swim. Again, I was merely a spectator to the event, especially since Jon decided to join in.

But it was ok, I was able to get pictures of them horsing around.

I even captured Jon tackling Myke...

...and Myke pushing Dan into the water haha!

Even at a distance, the group knew I was taking a picture of them. Haha!

After taking a bath, we prepared to leave to have lunch in Tagaytay. It was just as well that we decided to check out early because it started to rain.

We wanted to eat at Leslie's. We wanted Bulalo. But alas... the place was packed!!

You know what the reception told us? 30mins waiting time. Nuh-uh. No can do for our tummies!

So instead, we went to nearby Cafe Lupe. Total contrast: we were the only ones there so mucho mucho service. Hahaha!

The rain mellowed to a drizzle. But it was still foggy.

Taal Lake was foggy, but you can still see the cages or whatever those floating things are... (yeah, what are those anyway?)

Ahh..the fog cleared enough to get a nice picture of Taal Volcano.

After there, we headed home and made a couple of stops to Colette's to buy pasalubong for out families.

There ends our Calatagan adventure. As we went back to work (and therefore to reality) the next day, we continue to reminisce the time and the gossip that happened --

Drunken confessions.

Puking sessions.

Shared blankets.

Tender sleeping moments.

(Yikituuuuuuuuu!!)

Gangsters @ Ronco Beach Resort: Disturbing the Peace Part II

2008-05-29T22:29:00.014+08:00

No, we didn't eat "adubo" for dinner. We ate it for snacks.

Jon started cooking adobo when we got settled into our rooms. I just helped stirring what Jon mixed up, while myke was holding the wok steady. We used Jon's ultra compact stove, the kind they used to bring into the mountains. Cool huh..

Then we started a game of volleyball, with me and jemmi as muses and saling-pusa of the teams,

while the rest of the girls watched from the nearby balsa (balsa cheering squad).

After we figured out no one could ever win a game played to simply bully each other, we decided to swim. Or, rather, they decided to swim, while Jon & I decided to keep guard in the balsa, which we temporarily declared as AC Gangster Property. Yes, I kept my promise of not swimming.

AC Gangsters braving the deep waters of the sea...NOT. Seriously, it was low tide. So even if they are already far out, the waters barely reach their butts.

So yeah, after a few minutes of looking out to sea, Jon and I became bored and spent the time taking pictures of each other. Hahaha! Vanity is the answer to boredom in this case.

* gasp! * Jon is learning to take pictures of himself!?! Uh-oh... I had nothing to do with that...

My JC tattoo... I decided to forgo ,my yearly shoulderblade Dragon tattoo in favor of my fiance's initials on the leg.. it's different and I wanted a design that had something to do with Jon. So instead of drawing a mountain on my leg, I settled for his initials. Lol.

After swimming, we started to prepare for dinner. The picture below shows Myke & Dhang restraining themselves from killing each other in favor of helping prepare the hotdogs. Haha.

So using more of Jon's magic cooking skills, he managed to whip up tahong soup and liempo, while we made ourselves useful on the grill, grilling hotdogs, more tahong and marshmallows on the side hahaha!

Of course, after dinner is the time for T & I. Nope, not the HipHop singer. T & I stands for Tambay and Inuman. And we found the (almost) perfect place in the cottage out in the water. Why almost perfect? because it was damn dark. See, no light? Jon's headlight (see below picture) was the only light to illuminate us. Oh, that and the occassional flickering of the loose fluorescent light.

This picture (below) was taken from the cottage far out to the sea. The path to the cottage is illuminated with light. You have to walk in the middle of the path because sudden gusts of wind might just push you towards the water. It's dangerous...not because the water is deep, but because the water is shallow -- the impact of falling into shallow water is not necessarily very far from falling into the ground.

Inuman Entourage. lol.

One Empe down. Or was it GranMa? I have no idea. But these guys drank it all. haha!

Up next, "The Morning After"...

Gangsters @ Ronco Beach Resort: Disturbing the Peace Part I

2008-05-21T21:40:00.017+08:00

We agreed to meet @ McDo Alabang at exactly 0545 Hrs, and leave at 0600 Hrs to arrive in Calatagan early.

Jon & I got there at 0550Hrs.

The rest were spread between 0610Hrs to 0700 Hrs.

And then everyone had breakfast at McDo, because almost all skipped breakfast to get there early. We were all hungry so we ended up eating -- and therefore leaving late -- which ultimately defeated the purpose of skipping breakfast to get there early in the first place. (Did ya'll get that or did I just run around in circles?)

Anyway, we were cramped in the van but were comfortable anyway coz it was nice and new.

We had a brief stopover when some of the boys had to refill our water gallon. (Here's some of us

)

Then we stopped over at the wet market because we had to buy fresh meat, some sea food etc so that we can cook. Imagine how the people there felt when I took a picture of their market... they must have thought I was the type who has never been to a wet market before. Tsktsk. (For the record, I have.)

We asked directions from manong in the market. As I recall, his words were, "Kumaliwa kayo jan, tapos dire-diretsohin nyo lng hanggan dun..." So our driver was delighted, thinking that we were already near the vicinity, because we just had to turn left and go straight.

But I think manong forgot to tell us his definition of "dire-diretsohin lng hanggang dun.." -- because it was actually 5 more kilometers of mostly rough roads with dips and climbs. And I was dying to pee. So imagine my bladder screaming whenever we hit those bumps. Sheesh. But finally, after reaching what I think was the edge of Calatagan (it's true, it was the end of the road already), we finally touched down.

Yeah, the place was nice enough. It was no Puerto Galera or Boracay, but it was nice enough. So the consensus of the group was to buy lunch there so we can eat (yes we were hungry again) and just cook what we bought from the market later. So we summoned our last strength and struggled to wait for the food. Good thing, I was kept company by beach mainstay Zion, a black labrador.

So we ate our overpriced lunch of Menudo, "Kalderita" and Bulalo. We steered clear of their "Adubo" because that was what Jon planned to cook for dinner. But did we really eat Adobo for dinner?

To be Continued...

AC Calatagan Outing: To Go or Not To Go?

2008-05-21T20:32:00.009+08:00

AC Gangsters were slated to troop to Calatagan, Batangas last May 17 (Saturday) for a much needed R&R. But, as our excitement reached its peak as Friday arrived, something came up.

Actually, two things came up. The names? Cosme (L) and Dindo (R).

The friggin' tropical cyclones really had to arrive at that date. Naturally, my parents were terrified (especially since their friend recently lost a relative and his girlfriend in a drowning accident in Pagudpod because of strong waves. This incident was publicized because the couple were board-passers in last year's board exams. They went to Pagudpod as their celebration I think, and this is what happened).

So there. My once a year chance of going somewhere (a little) far from Manila was thwarted by elements beyond my friggin' control. RATS!

So then came the task of convincing my parents that the typhoon won't directly hit Calatagan. BUT, the problem was, the eye of the typhoon was in Calapan, Oriental Mindoro, which was technically near Calatagan, especially if you rely on common knowlege (to get to Mindoro you need to go to Batangas Pier so obviously they are in the same side of the map).

As of 1500 Hrs, 16 May 2008, I was not part of the group leaving for Calatagan in the morning. Oh my gosh, I was a "loooooser"!!!
As I sulked in the office, I continued browsing for whatever information I could find to prove that the storm would not directly hit Calatagan. But I knew the chances were pretty slim. I was resigned to the idea that they would just be bringing me pasalubong from the trip.

There is a God.

With the help of my friends and my fiance, we were able to gather enough proof (haha!) that the storm won't hit Calatagan at the time that we're there. I don't know where Jon got the image, but somewhere in the depth of the Pag-Asa website, there was an image that shows the track of the typhoon, missing the Batangas area. I sent it to my dad (and demanded that he go online to see it harhar) and I told them that Jon was the one who found it (yes, they trust Jon's judgement more than mine, I guess).

Lo and Behold! My parents consented -- but there had to be a trade-off: that I won't go swimming in the deep end of the sea to avoid the waves (they had to say this because they knew I loved to swim and go farther to sea). So of course, to ease their mind, I agreed, and I had every intention to make good of the deal.

Hey, what's staying near the shore compared to missing all the fun and gossip that was about to commence?!

Yup! It's definitely a GO!!!!!~~

Calatagan, here we come!!!!!!

2008-04-25T21:20:00.001+08:00

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

FUNctional stuff in Mall of Asia!

2008-04-02T17:33:00.001+08:00

It was an impromptu Tuesday date for me & Jon... I was actually kind of rushing since we had to go to Toby's and then eat dinner... On our way to Toby's, I suddenly came across this newly-opened stall with a catchy name: FUNctional

I hurriedly pulled Jon and told him that I won't take long, just around 5 minutes, because I was curious about this store.

But when I stepped inside, all sense of time disappeared.

The place was full of thingamajigs in pink, purple, orange, blue & black!!! It was heaven for me, who likes little things that tend to clutter my desk. The center table contains various items at cheap prices.

The walls were lined with notebooks, pens, pencils, erasers and other school/office supplies in cute, bright colors!

The other wall is full of knick-knacks to brighten up the dullest of tabletops. And they're cheap, too!

So.... what was supposed to be a 5-minute window shopping became a 20-minute shopping trip -- I ended up buying a notebook (which I don't really need) and 2 sets of markers for me & Jon's sister.

The stuff here are not just kikay, they're practical and useful too!

Everything is indeed, FUNctional!

Hair Before, Hair After

2008-04-02T00:02:00.008+08:00

I had 2 haircuts in 2 weeks. For the first time in my life.

The first one was done in a salon with a name that I prefer not to name (pun intended). However, the style was uber simple -- something I could have gotten with a haircut that is 6 times cheaper than theirs. So with the help of my straightening iron (which I turned into a curling iron), it came out like this:

...which wasn't really so bad, except that I'm the type who can't stand the same hairdo for more than a year. With the supposedly "new" hairdo just a wee bit different from my old one, I decided to have another haircut plus a cellophane treatment in a nearby salon (the one who charges 6 times lower than those upscale ones)...

I just told them I wanted the korean/anime look with lots of layers but with the same length of my hair. After a little over an hour (with the cellophane treatement too), viola!

I look like I just stepped out of an anime cartoon.
...So, can you see the difference? (The similarity in the angles is actually just a coincidence -- I didn't mean to give an exact before-and-after picture.)

So there, it only goes to show that one does not need an upscale salon just to look good...

Of course, after I took a bath, I couldn't get to keep my hair this manageable anymore. This can only be achieved if I have another re-bond (which I don't intend to do) or use a straightening iron (which I don't have time for each morning). So in the end, my hair had body, with parts sticking out from it.

Hey, who says you can have everything? =D

My Maundy Thursday: "Fast-eating"

2008-03-20T23:34:00.027+08:00

In the previous years, my Maundy Thursdays were always boring and sad, with the exception of last year's bora holy-week holiday. Since I'm not in Bora now, I thought it would be another one of those sleep-all-day days. Good thing I was wrong. If I can't be in bora now, at least, I'd eat as if I was in bora. Ha!

And so we scoured Makati for places to eat. And thanks to my Tito & Tita, we ended up in Bonifacio High Street, whose resturants were thankfully open to the hungry public. But the place, usually brimming with people, was experiencing scarcity in patronization.

Clawdaddy's had the most appeal to us. It had seafood, since we were trying to avoid meat. We had no idea of the serving size, so we just ordered 1 serving of each. There was Creole Razor Clams with Fettucine (minus half the fettucine -- the pictures was taken a bit too late)

And this chicken burger with a mound of fries and a LOT of other stuff in it

And this Opaka-sumthing fish that the waiter said was cooked Hawaiian style (ooops, not much left there I guess...)

oh, we also had this pink salmon salad that sadly wasn't able to survive long enough for me to take a picture of it...

And lastly, there was this tuna ribs thingie who's supposed to be for 1 person only. "Supposed to be" is pretty accurate, coz we had no idea where they got the idea that an average Filipino person could eat all of this by his lonesome.

To say that we kinda "over-estimated" is an understatement. We were drowned by the food, and we were supposed to be "fasting". Well, "fast-eating" is more appropriate!

We didn't even get to touch the chicken burger (except for half the fries).

But if you think it ends there, think again. All those major courses made us crave for some dessert. And the first thing that came to mind was...

Hey, I'm just human. Their dark chocolate doughnut always drives me nuts. And this was taken by my Tito who caught me enjoying my doughnut.

So there. We pretty much headed back to the condo after that. The day was tiring, but fun nonetheless. My stomach was severely satisfied, despite having to shed some inches.

Tip: Clawdaddy's servings for 1 person may also mean either 1 American or 2 Average-sized Filipinos. Trust me.

Smitten... and I thought i don't swoon...

2008-03-17T22:58:00.025+08:00

I have never really "swooned" over a local artist, much less have my picture taken with them... except maybe for the Streetboys during their heyday (but that's a different story already). Usually I'm just content with observing from the sidelines... if the famous person happened to glance my way, i feel like it's just TV, where the made-up faces of the celebrities seem to stare right at your eyes...

So what happened last Sunday was the absolute last thing on my mind...

Jon and I came from watching 10,000 B.C. and went to do a little shopping. We went to Penshoppe, and I picked out a nice shirt for him, and a wallet too... he was still looking at some pants but since my legs were tired with my 3-inch platforms (they were comfy but gravity is still real, it seems), so i decided to sit down on the couch in the middle of the store....

And then it happened.

I saw this guy smiling around, and people were approaching him... some wanting to take pictures of him, some even with him... I muttered a short expletive under my breath and realized it was Jericho Rosales.

Suddenly, I was struggling to get up from the couch when i suddenly stopped and said to myself,

"Teka, bakit nga ba ako nagkakandarapa. Eh ayaw ko nmn sa knya?"

You see, I'm not a swooning, shrieking and super fan of local artists. I find Jericho to be a good actor, but as a singer, I have yet to be convinced. Let's just say he can do a mall show in the background and I can get by without watching it, just continuing my shopping and walking. I had that attitude.

So imagine my utter amazement when I suddenly realized someone from my direction was rushing over to see him closer. What was more incredulous was -- it was me. I don't know, it was either my feet were not connected to my brain (brain: "i'm not even his fan!" vs. feet "outta my way! i'm gonna get there!"), or i just didn't want to be the odd person out na parang walang pakialam... coz even Jon was near the crowd, looking at the commotion hehehe!

I had my camera with me, and by a sudden inspiration brought about by the thought of this blog, I whipped out my camera...

And then i started taking pictures of his back...

And then I moved to his side...

Elbowed my way up to the front...

And, well, with the help of my loving fiance, I became a part of this echo-perfect view.

So there, I gave in. I actually have a picture with a celebrity whom I thought I didn't like. Haha. "It's for my blogs...", I thought. But actully, it was for me too. It was a different experience for me, since I don't do it often, if not at all. I'm usually the "paparazzi"... not the "paparazzied".

In all fairness to him, I honestly think he's nice. It's hard to pretend to be nice up close coz it won't show up in the eyes... but he seemed sincere, especially when he looked me in the eye as he said thank you for taking a picture with him. And damn he had good skin. I'd kill for that skin, and that complexion too. What's with that? he's nice, and he has good skin. Hmph. The world ain't fair. Hahaha!

Although I know this won't reach him, I just want to say thanks to him. I hope he will always be that nice especially to his swooning, shrieking fans, as he was nice to someone who just wanted to experience being in the same picture as a famous person. (Him being a hunk don't hurt either, hehehe.)

Wedding Expo Philippines Day 2: Free Creative Shot

2008-03-12T22:21:00.007+08:00

In my previous post about the first day of the Wedding Expo, I mentioned winning a prenup thingie from My Portrait Box. It's actually a free Prenup/Creative Shot (just 1 pose) done on the spot. Yes, right there beside their stall, in full view of everyone. But since Jon wasn't with me at that time, I had all the more reason to go back on the second day. (Hehehe.)

So there, I dragged Jon to the second day of the fair last Sunday, and we made sure to claim our free creative shot/prenup thingie from My Portrait Box. I stared incredously at the tiny backdrop and faux frame that was placed on the side. I asked jokingly,

"Ay, hahawakan ba namin ung frame?"
"Opo mam." Whaaaat?!?

Ok. Their location was in the middle of a cramped row of different photographers/suppliers, with no dividers to give privacy to each of their spaces. I've been to my share of cramped stalls, my parent's being in the bazaar business and all, so the setup was not entirely alien to me. But we had our own "wall", or at least a divider to -- well -- divide the space between us and the vendors next to us. But this here is a (not so) wide open space, with a backdrop and a single lighting on one side. Jon and I was supposed to stand there, amidst wires, chairs and boxes, and have our "creative shot" taken, in full view of people passing by. It was so weird I swear I could feel the movements of the people from the next stall behind our backdrop. But the "hawak-frame" effect was actually nice, and in all fairness to them, the outcome was really nice too. It was just so unreal to me because the shot looks like it was done in a dark studio. Who would have thought it was actually done in a cramped but well-lighted area in the middle of a crowd? It made me feel that pictures really do have a story behind them...

So while waiting for the pictures to be printed, we decided to disturb our videographer's peace. We really had fun hanging out with Buddy and Cathy Gancenia of Reality Wedding Videos. And by a wonderful coincidence, our photographer Jomel Gregorio and his wife Nanette (they weren't able to join the fair coz they ran out of slots) suddenly popped up! They were going around the venue and happened to pass by Buddy's stall while Jon & I were there. It was actually a very happy impromptu meeting that had me realizing: I'm really getting married, and it's happening soon, and there are loads of stuff to do and pay for!!!

This realization was brought about by Jomel, who bombarded us with very creative ideas about our pre-nup shots. My mind was reeling with thoughts on how to make his vision possible, coz we really like his ideas. Which brought me to think of my worst fear: going over-budget. I am presently wrestling my brain not to think along that lines just yet.

Having maximized our time there, we felt the gravitational pull of our stomachs heading towards Mall of Asia. So we went to MoA to spend quality time...eating. Yeah yeah, I have to head back to ringside soon.

of Boxing & Bridal Fairs, Thanks to Marge & RG

2008-03-09T09:52:00.003+08:00

Yep. Boxing. And Bridal Fairs. Two activities that have nothing in common except for their first letters.
Highschool friends Marge & RG are heaven sent -- I had a blast last Saturday.

First up they brought me to the wonderful (and now painful) world of Boxing yesterday (saturday) morning. I swear I almost passed out after doing 6 minutes of skipping rope. Damn skipping ropes! hahaha! I asked for a break and headed for water. Turns out I was dehydrated, coz after I chugged almost half of the bottle, the little blue dots slowly disappeared. Then I was back in my sluggish fighting form. Then kuya asked me what my fighting stance was. So I showed him. He asked me if I was right-handed or left-handed. I said I write with my right hand but I often do things the other way around. He said ok, coz with my preferred stance I was South Paw. Huh? I was left-handed in boxing?!? Interesting!

So I did the boxing thing with him, then with this huge punching bag, then with this ball tied up floor-to-ceiling, then with this pear-shaped one that's hanging from my head... the small one that I often see Pacquiao punching very fast... I pathetically attempted to punch it fast and almost hit my head with it. That damn thing was sneaky! You have to have a certain rhythm going there, so you can punch it continuously without it recoiling in your face. Haha. So I started counting.

"Punch, 1, 2, 3. Punch, 1, 2, 3. Punch.... oooops..." Ok. There goes my combo. Pathetic.

Then they made us do the ab thing. Crunches and the works. Jeez, I thought I'd given birth. In the middle of leg-raises I told Marge I can't go with them to the bridal fair later on, coz at the rate I was going I'd be unconscious by then.

So then RG picked Marge & me up, they dropped me off at home, and despite my excuses of being uncounscious and bed-ridden due to the sudden workout, RG said they'll pick me up in the afternoon so we can go to the Wedding Expo.

So I struggled to keep myself alive at least for the rest of the day. And am I glad I did. Marge & I had fun going around the huuuge venue, talking wedding... while RG was on his own, prowling for food (hehe) and rings for Marge (how sweet!). We were there for 3 hours, I think, and I think we pretty much covered everything. I booked our florist there already, and even won a Pre-nup thingie with My Portrait Box. Haha.

Muchas Gracias to my sweet friends, Marge & RG, for the wonderful day. Til next boxing session, ate Marge! ( i have to recover first haha)

Fit n' Right ba un? Akala ko Eat n' Write

2008-02-28T14:45:00.000+08:00

Yan. Yan ang sagot ng butihin kong future husbandry nung sinabi kong sabayan nya ung nag-eexercise sa Fit n' Right challenge sa channel 2.

"Ah, Fit n' Right ba un? Akala ko Eat (gestures) n' Write (gestures)" Hahaha!

But seriously, I know I have to start exercising. Pano ba nmn, nagpasukat na ako ng gown na pang-abay sa kasal ni Meenah. So ibig sabihin, hindi nako pwede tumaba. Todo na ung vital stats na kinuha sakin. Pero kahit dalawang mabibigat na rason na ang andyan pra mag-diet at mag-exercise ako, hindi ko pa rin mashadong magawa (ano kamo ung 2 rason? 1. kasal ni meenah. 2. kasal ko. hahaha!)

Yes, nagbabawas nako ng rice. Bread ang inuupakan ng lola nyoh. Kya lng, dapat wheat or organic chuva, or else makakaubos ako ng 1 loaf bago mabusog. So gudluck sa pagbili ng kakaibang tinapay dba. Mahilig ako sa pan-de-sal, pero, like I said, makakaubos ako ng mga 10 piraso bago mabusog. Haaaay.

Pero more than a diet, kelangan ko mag-exercise. Pero bakit hindi ko magawa? I guess I'm writing this blog to force myself to answer that question.

"Bakit mo nga nmn tlga hindi magawa, Eva?"

Aha. Alam ko na.

Computer/Internet

Janet Evanovich

Trabaho

Yan pa lng, wala na nga tlgang pagkakataon na mag-exercise ako. Parang gusto ko magpa-member sa isang gym. Ung monthly membership lng ha, kasi mas nakakatamad pag yearly membership or lifetime membership (iisipin ko, madami akong panahon bawiin ung binayad ko so ok lng kng hindi muna ako makaka-exercise). Pero wala akong pera (nag-iipon kuno) at wala akong time (nagttrabaho kuno). Hay nako. Ang dami kong dahilan.

I know it takes discipline tlga. Kahit gaano kadaming HipHop Abs DVD ang bilhin ko, kng hindi ko nmn susundan un, wala din tlga mangyayari.

Although.... may naiisip akong medyo magandang motivation para sakin... Isipin ko nlng, gusto ko mag 2-piece pag nagbeach ako this summer. Kaya kelangan, magka abs ako. Eh isang malaking "ab" lng cya eh, tsktsk... hindi pala dapat ganun.

I need to exercise. But I always say that -- I rarely do it. Sana masimulan ko na! Daig pa ako ng aso, nakakapag treadmill.

Mahiya nmn ako dba?

New Year, New Profile, New Me?

2008-02-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

(This was originally posted in my Multiply and Friendster blogs dated Jan 11, '08 )

I changed my friendster and multiply profile. New year, new profile, new me? I guess so. I think the change in profile is symbolic, because it also shows the changes in me since the past years. I changed almost the whole profile- - however some small details remained the same -- just like what I went through. The change in me last year was so drastic (from stupid martyr last 2006 to pampered princess last 2007 to bridezilla this 2008) yet, there are still things that did not change.

I noticed my change in tastes. I no longer like some of the stuff i used to (gothic stuff etc). I grudgingly admit I'm slowly turning into a girl, my interests transforming from rugged to sexy. I'm forced to mature and primp myself up for my beloved, lest he leave me hahaha! Kidding. But my interest in bags, shoes and tops increased alarmingly. I found myself wanting to learn how to do the "smokey eyes" (i'll be damned haha!) and the unruly curly look (which I achieved last Noche Buena, see my profile pix). I also became a fan of the "out of bed" look (which I also achieved last Noche Buena, when my unruly curls got limp already haha! See my profile pix). I chopped off a part of my bangs to try to achieve the "angled bangs" look, whick sometimes works -- on a good hair day. Otherwise, my officemates ask me,

"Bakit parang ang gulo-gulo ng buhok mo?"
To which I retort,"Hmmp! Style yan!"

Yep, the boy is turning into a lady. Hahaha!

Seriously, the change in me is more than superficial. In fact, changing my looks usually signifies an internal change. I usually change something about the way I look when I resolve to change / move on / improve something. I feel like a change in the outside completes my change on the inside. Ever since I got engaged, my priorities, goals and dreams have changed. I have learned a lot, but I still have to learn a lot, pun intended. Planning for something that is life-changing suddenly forces you to grow up and it molds you into someone more mature, practical and decisive. It makes you organized, responsible and firm. You have to know what you want. If you don't, you have to learn to know what you want... and eventually get it. Yep, that's how it's gonna be -- for me, at least.

I'm looking forward to the year ahead of me. It will be crazy and exhausting, stressful but fun. I'll be making lots of discoveries about myself and my beloved, and the people around me. I would be meeting different people, dealing, trusting and hoping they don't frustrate the crap out of me. I hope to strengthen my faith as I'll be lifting everything to God, hoping to be reminded that if things don't go as planned, He has a reason for it. And most of all, I look forward to starting a whole new life with the man that I know God has intended for me -- because it's meant to be when He means it to be.

Coffee & Love

2008-02-27T23:16:00.000+08:00

(Originally posted in my Friendster and Multiply blogs dated Nov 13, '07 )

I'm not a coffee fanatic and I always go for non-caffeine drinks but I love spending time in coffee shops, chatting with friends, gossiping about other people (with my soul-burning partner Jen R. haha) or just reading a book. Heck, I worked in the E-banking hub INSIDE Starbucks Chinabank for several months, so I've learned to inhale the aroma of roasted beans for hours at a time.
I've also spent countless dates in coffee shops with the men who became part of my life (some, regrettably) and have spent hours talking about anything, sometimes alluding to a future together. There was always the same scene in every relationship: "cozy coffee shop, lazy afternoon, having "our future" talks over hot or cold drinks". But those relationships ended up the same way -- vamoose! Yep. Deja Vu.

However, last Saturday's Starbucks trip in Greenbelt 3 with my fiance proved to be different. This wasn't just another "cozy coffee shop, lazy weekend afternoon, and 'our future' talks over drinks" (and cinnamon roll) kinda thing. This time, our future was as clear as the bakery case beside the counter. We had a future, and the man sitting across the table from us is going to document it. His name is Buddy.

Buddy Gancenia, a Reality Wedding Videographer, is going to make sure i have something to bitch-slap myself with if ever I start having an early mid-life crisis.
I think I just sealed my future -- amidst coffee and love.

OTY and making my ex pay-up...

2008-02-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

(Originally posted in my Friendster and Multiply blog dated Sep 11, '07 )

Yup, that's me... now. Have to wait for my fiance to finish up his work, so I get to take pictures of myself and update my Multiply. Hmm. Not bad for not having overtime pay. (Hey, if I had overtime pay, I would be working.Haha.)

Well, to update those who read my previous entry, my ex is paying-up -- oh so slowly. As in big-heavyweight-turtle slowly... And sometimes, he does not. He needs reminding everytime, like now he still hasn't paid for August. I reminded him angrily through text already. Well, I guess I just have to keep on stressin myself until I get my money back. At least, he's paying. I'm really avoiding getting his mom involved again -- for his mom's sake, not for his. Just thinking about it gets me all worked up and mad at him for the nth time. Jeez. You know I used to say I didn't regret anything that I did because if not for it, I wouldn't be who I am now? Well guess what, now I found something I utterly regret. I regret giving him that much. I realized I could still be who I am now without having to shell out that much. But since all is said and done, I'm facing the consequences and making reparations and getting back what I had. Do I sound so vengeful? Maybe I am. Because everytime I turn to my bank account and find insufficient funds, I am reminded that I am in such detrimental situation because of a good-for-nothing bastard. Sana man lng it was for a good cause. But no.

Of course I have moved on with my life and I have no bitterness about our relationship before (i don't regret having a relationship with a user din nmn, just the fact that I allowed myself to be used that much). I don't even have any bitterness about his relationship with his gf now that could have been a 3rd party, I don't really have to know. Ang kinaiinis ko, there were lots of times I needed my money for medical reasons and to help our my parents pero I couldn't give any -- because of him. And now I couldn't immediately pay some wedding suppliers because of him pa rin. Hanggan ngayon ba nmn, inconvenience pa rin cya sa buhay ko?