Thoughts of a First-Time Mom-to-be

Before I got pregnant, I was involved with my sister-in-law’s pregnancy. We were always with them every other week. She went on with her usual activities, still driving to and fro her office, even until her 9^th month. She ate a lot and gained weight even during her first trimester. So I thought,” I hope I won’t have a hard time with my future pregnancy, just like her”.

But I had a hard time. A really hard time. I had a threatened abortion and had to take medicines that made me acidic. I had to rest, but couldn’t lie down for a long time due to acid reflux (acidity going up my throat when I lie down). I was throwing up so regularly I was developing a personal relationship with our master toilet. I couldn’t eat a lot, because I would get bloated and acidic and throw it all up anyway. I’m supposed to relax and not get stressed, but how could I, when I even have to get up in the middle of the night to rendezvous with the toilet. And the biggest thing of all – I had to take a 1 month leave without pay, just when I need the budget for my medicines and checkups. The ironies of my condition were endless.

So in all honesty, I couldn’t feel “happy” during those times. I feel guilty when I realize that all that was in my mind were my discomforts. Of course, at the back of my head I knew a miracle was happening, a gift was given to us, but I couldn’t feel totally joyous about it – not with my mind trying to control my nausea for the most part of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t sulking and questioning God why I had to get pregnant, because I did pray and wish for it. I wanted to get pregnant, I just didn’t really “feel” pregnant – I felt like someone who had acute gastroenteritis. Especially since my abdomen wasn’t showing yet.

Then I woke up one morning sometime towards my 3^rd month. I realized my tummy wasn’t aching with acidity that much. I started to feel hope that this was it, I was starting to get over the drama. But after a few days, I found myself making friends with our office toilet – so I start wondering, what the heck is going on? I thought I was over this already?

So I started to get into a funk again, about why I was still feeling all these, when I realized that, hey, didn’t I manage to sleep a bit better last night? Hey, didn’t the frequency of my nausea go down? Hey, didn’t my acidity somehow lessen? Hey, wasn’t I generally feeling better than before? I started becoming positive, seeing my improvements and thanking Papa Jesus that this was better than before. It was at this point that things started to look up.

Now in my 17^th week, though I am still not allowed to travel as I used to, and I still throw up once in a while, and I still get bloated and acidic and have recently developed an annoying after taste. But I feel happier, I have more appetite, and my tummy is showing – making me realize that a little one is really growing inside me. My officemates have been very supportive, always watching out for me and reprimanding me, understanding my absences.

But the greatest feeling of all is seeing the baby, MY baby, inside my womb, squirming and jerking and changing positions. Although the ultrasound still wasn’t able to determine the gender of our baby, the more important aspect was the fetal biometry – in layman’s terms, the baby’s vital statistics. Thank God, that despite my sensitive pregnancy, my baby’s growth is on time, right on schedule. The size of the head, the abdomen and the length are all normal for his/her age. I still haven’t felt a kick or a punch yet, it may take more weeks for that, but seeing that everything is normal gave me relief beyond measure. We really thank God for that.

I realized that seeing my baby healthy even just through ultrasound suddenly made everything I went through worthwhile… how much more when I get to meet him/her in person next year? Our worlds will probably turn upside down, the unica hija now with the unica niña who has been loved from the moment the second pink line appeared… :D

And they really HAD to make it to NY Times....but what about the others?

http://www.starmometer.com/2009/10/01/cristine-reyes-and-richard-gutierrez-make-it-to-the-new-york-times/

I'm sorry guys, I just have to react on this. I know it's hardly the time to have negative feelings about other people, but I also believe in giving credit where credit is due.

So lemme make this short.

I agree that stars saving other stars is worth media coverage -- especially since it makes everyone realize that in calamities like these, there are no rich, poor, popular celebrities nor D-list wannabes. Everyone is equal in times of danger and crisis.

However, I also firmly believe that stars saving ordinary people are all the more newsworthy. Popular actors almost unrecognizable with the waters reaching up their mouths, hollering to their neighbors to check if they are ok, braving flood waters without motored transport, saving people and animals alike, tying ropes as make shift anchors lest they be carried away by the current... I think they all the more deserve appreciation.

So, ok, the more popular make it to New York Times... How I wish they included the more heroic too...


God bless us all, and may we continue the spirit of compassion and sharing amongst us...