Let me start by defining who I am NOT.
- I am not Superwoman. I get tired, stressed and cranky at the end of the day because I cannot always handle physical and mental stress perfectly. I cannot save the world, neither can I change it.
- I am not Flash. I cannot move at lightning speed. I cannot run from one place to another in a matter of seconds.
- I am not Merlin -- or a female version of him. I cannot predict what will happen and prevent it from happening.
- I am not Harry Potter -- err -- Hermione, that is. Aside from the fact that I am not that smart, I do not have spells and potions and curses to use to make everything alright.
- I am not psychic. I want to be, and I think I have the potential to develop my mind's sensitivity to reach another level but as of now, no, I cannot read everyone's minds. Ergo, I cannot please everybody.
- I am not a hermit. I cannot stay cooped up in a certain place without any contact with the outside world. Well, except if it is in Calaguas Island or somewhere exotic -- but that's a different story.
Having established my boundaries as a normal person, maybe I can define who I am. In a nutshell.
- I am a woman trying to find her place in the sun. I am moving in a new world, one that is unfortunately ruled by old school movers and shakers. I have left a decade-long life to venture into a new one and I am learning a lot, enjoying a lot, and am grateful -- a lot too. However, I am also stumbling a lot, falling a lot, and doubting a lot. Doubting whether I'll be good enough, efficient enough, sane enough.
- I am a woman who is also trying to find herself. After a decade of being a yuppie, I am no longer one. So what do I want to do and who do I want to be?
- I am a new mother. Yes, 19 months is fairly new. I am a mother, but that is not the be all and end all of my existence. The old school point of view dictates that a mother has to give up everything, including her identity, her whole being, to raise her child. I beg to disagree. A mother does not need to lose her identity in order to raise her child. How can someone who does not even know herself succeed in raising a child to be a whole person? Too much of anything is still not a good thing. I believe that a mother has to balance everything -- time for child, family, and herself -- in order to have a good relationship with the people around her.
So, who am I?
I'm still finding out. I'll let you know.
