Kudos to Meralco Alabang Service Center

Yup, I never thought I'd see the day that I would actually use that blog title. But I want to give credit where credit is due. Thank you to Mr. Palma and his crew for arriving within an hour of our SOS call.

Just wanna share this experience in the hopes that somehow it could save someone from the hassle of re-wiring a whole house.

For about 2 weeks now, we have been noticing fluctuations in our electricity. At first it was just the lights, flickering a bit, then everything's normal again. Once a day probably, just negligible. But the past couple of days, we were noticing even the fans and the aircons were being affected by the fluctuation, and we were getting concerned about the other appliances too. Then this morning, as mom was about to leave for work, the electricity seemed to slowly shut down until it turned off. Then went on again. So my mom went berserk and was bugging me to call Meralco. I did and they said someone would be over within 2-4hrs.

Thank goodness they got here within the hour. That was fast!! The crew immediately opened the electric meter (kuntador) and a burnt smell filled the air. The right half of the inside was scorched and brittle and the wire was a bit burnt. This picture is what's left of the right panel of the meter. The rest of the pieces I think disintegrated.

They had to re-check and make sure the wire wasn't burned on the inside. If it was, then we have to call an electrician and re-wire the whole house. That is one epic hassle especially with a baby present in the household. We were lucky indeed. A few more hours probably would have consumed the wire. The leadman Mr. Palma said we should've called immediately after we noticed frequent fluctuations.

So I'm sharing this now because if I was able to read something like this before, I would have acted much sooner.

So remember. If your lights start to flicker, before thinking of corpses appearing behind you reflected through mirrors, remember you are NOT in a horror movie. Grab your phone and call Meralco instead. Better be safe than sorry.

And thank God for protecting us from harm.

YOU: Beta Version 2.0

"It's better to be yourself, than to try to be some version of what you think the other person wants." -- @ihatequotes

No sense pretending someone you're not. It's one thing to change for the better, it's another to force yourself to live up to someone else's expectation knowing that you can't keep it up for the long term.

Beta versions are trial versions, early releases that have a lot of bugs and issues. An early release of another version of you have to undergo a trial stage where you have to determine if you wanna go through with it or undo and shelf the idea.

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for self-improvement and embracing change. We are not perfect, and in whatever kind of relationship -- whether business, platonic and especially otherwise -- there will always be adjustments and sacrifices and compromise, one on top of the other. Actually, there is probably a very thin line between adjustment/compromise and pretension and it's really up to you to figure out which is which.

I guess it boils down to one thing: Are you willing to change, to adjust? Are you willing to compromise? Or are you merely going through the motions to avoid further conflict and issues?

If your self-improvement comes from within, your own initiative and your own desire, then go for it. Do it for yourself first and foremost, then do it for others. That way, if in case it goes unappreciated by the others, at least you know you did it for yourself too. (If you don't appreciate your own effort, go see a shrink.)

But if the changes you're struggling to go through seem to be a burden to you, or you seem to always *want to* have a relapse, then think about it. Is this really what you want? Can you compromise something so this can be what you want? If you feel like you have to wear this mask or wear that costume, well, then it probably is an act that you have to play for the necessary duration. A 30-day trial? Who knows? The question is, can you keep it up?

We all have roles to play one way or another. It's a fact of dear life. Beta versions of a new you is just a larger, more permanent picture this time. It's a life decision, and it takes a lot of courage and wisdom to accept your answer to the million-dollar question:

Release all new and improved YOU: Version 2.0 Full?
Or Restore Backup?

Life As We Know It

Yes, I promise to watch the movie once I get my hands on a DVD of it.

Anyway, in an effort NOT to turn a movie title into a cliche, lemme just say that this short phrase actually translates to "The life that we were taught to live by is not always what it seems; there will always be changes that may not necessarily be part of our design."

Having said that, I believe it's true, especially for some of us who were brought up in an ideal environment. The little perfect ideal world does not necessarily translate directly into a mere bigger ideal world version. And we have to be ready to accept that.

Case in point: Me. I was living a sheltered life through elementary and highschool. I went to college starting out with a big chunk of the previous "sheltered life as I knew it". But pretty soon I knew I had to accept the new world I was now living in. Exit sheltered life. Enter college life. Unfortunately, my then boyfriend was weighing me down because he refuses to see that this world is entirely different from our highschool world. Either that or he doesn't want me to go out and meet the real world for fear that I might leave him behind? Whatever. The point being, it's hard to move in a new world when there's someone watching over you like a hawk on an eating binge. Life in highschool as I knew it changed (somehow) in college. When I got a job, I was in for another entrance test to the corporate world.

Exit carefree college life. Enter responsible yuppie life. Bills to pay. Allowance from my own pocket (or ATM) had to be budgeted, new people to meet and get along with, and that includes the Boss and the Boss' aides. Working for someone who has the power to fire you was pressuring and mind-blanking -- at first. Of course, once I adjusted to my "new corporate life as I knew it", it became my "life as I know it" for almost a decade, up until the time I left the corporate world for Mommyhood.

Exit corporate life. Enter Mudra life. The end of a life as I knew it and yet again the start of another. Will this life be the end of the story? Hardly. From the looks of it, there is and shall be many changes (drastic or otherwise) within my new "mudra life as I know it". I have a lot to learn. I have a lot to figure out. I have a lot to experience. At this stage, it seems pointless to conjure up any ideals sensing that I sometimes can't even determine what the ideal mudra life is all about. It was easier to stereotype the ideal scenario of a corporate world: Sucess = lots of moola = great career. But how can one define success in motherhood? Is it that your child finished pre school, gradeschool, highschool and college? Is it that your child isn't a rebel? Your child may not be a rebel, but has he made a difference in this world? If neither, are you still successful as a parent?

Seems like this current life as I know it has a LOT of gray areas, thin lines and variable responses. It's scary, fulfilling, exhausting, interesting, thrilling, even anxiety-building. I guess the only way to describe my "current life as I know it" is that it's as volatile as anti-matter on a vacuum canister running out of battery (sorry, refer analogy to Dan Brown's Angels and Demons). A small leak can change everything and even make it explode. Which is why I have to make sure I stay sane, stable, balanced and zonked with a lotta love and patience. Wishing for wisdom wouldn't hurt too, for me to accept the things I cannot control. And jaw strength too, to bite my tongue whenever I have the urge to retort, complain, sarcastically comment etc.

Bottomline: This "current life as I know it"... Seems I don't know it well after all. Not yet, anyway.

I'm NOT In It To WIN It...

I'm in it for YOU.


These words (lyrics from a song I recently heard) had me momentarily stumped. I'm used to the "I'm in it to WIN it!!" frame of mind. Now this totally opposite school of thought?! Whoa. So I guess it IS possible to do something for someone out of sheer love/loyalty without even expecting reciprocation. Martyr much? Maybe, partly. Or perhaps there's happiness in doing this too. Unconditional love? Most probably. Ah. Selfless love. There you go.

But wait. Wasn't I able to do this too? Of course, not at the martyrdom level, no. But wasn't there a point in my life when I was the only one giving and exerting effort after effort, without the promise of certainty in a relationship? Hmmm. So this isn't really something new for me, after all. I remember at that point I was willing to go through with it, to make the effort myself-- until I bumped my head and my vision cleared and I realized it wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it. :)

But then let's try to shift the paradigm a bit. What if the guy is worth it, but you know that you can never win. Plain and simple. The question is, will you still go through the effort? Will you still offer the time? Will you still give the love?

If the answer is a resounding "Hell no!", hey, I don't blame ya. That is the logically correct answer. Statistically, most people do not waste their time and effort on something they know they can't get. You simply followed your mind, logical reasoning, sanity and kept within the socially acceptable mindset. That's cool.

But if your answer is still a soft but firm "Yes.", then kudos to you as well. You are the embodiment of the blog title. You have achieved selfless love, whether it be for a short or long period of time. You have found happiness in places not many can find happiness in. You followed your heart this time, allowing yourself to feel what others tend to avoid feeling. Undoubtedly, it will be a learning experience, and a humbling one. An experience that hopefully, when you look back, you'd say, "No, I still don't regret that one."

Unleash Your Inner Child

Contrary to what may be the initial impression, having your "inner child" intact amidst all the grown-up worries in this world is a sign of sanity and balance. I'm talking about having a couple (or for the moneyed, maybe even a collection) of toys or action figures at home or even at work that you secretly enjoy during certain moments in your life. It may not be something you want to show to everyone, but it is certainly one you'd share with whoever knows your heart's desires.

It goes to show that you still have a firm grasp on your childhood roots, even partially. It keeps your feet on the ground. It is a reminder that you can let go of all your worries and just look at the kid inside of you and enjoy it for a moment. It serves as a break from the chaotic and complicated problems that you face every single day. It shows that you are still who you were before, or a part of you at least, despite everything you've done and everything you've been through. It allows you to stop pretending to be a grown up all the freakin' time. It's a sign of freedom from everything around you and immersion in your secret world.

Of course, it doesn't mean that you'd burst into play in the middle of a client meeting or presentation. Perhaps that already warrants some medical assistance. It is in those moments of solitude, or moments with someone close to you that you unleash your inner child without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. It's fun, and therapeutic, even.

Which is why it got me thinking, what represents MY inner child? Am I too caught up with the grown-up world that I can't even remember what I used to do when I was a kid? Maybe I was. Maybe I am.

Thanks for reminding me. I guess it's time to look inside... my toy chest. :)

Painful Consequences

"Sometimes you have to suffer the consequences of your actions."

When I hear this line, I immediately think, "Damn, that can't be good..." Well, it's usually not. But you have no choice but to go through it.

This time I'm talking about physical pain. It's been a while since I've felt sick like this. Major attack of hyperacidity (I think) that I had to be rushed back to the condo from the mall just so I could lie down or throw up, whichever came first. I was just dropped off, so I was alone and hurting with no one to bring me to the hospital in case this was not just hyperacidity. Yes, that worse scenario came fleeting through my mind, although I managed to push it away because anxiety causes more pain.

So then I started thinking of what I have eaten the past few days that could have led to this. This is the part where you start pondering on your "actions" that led to this "consequence". Well, I could only think of 1 thing: chocolates. Whether it be a bar, or ice cream, or snack... I think I had too much chocolates for a while.

But since I'm a certified chocolate lover (even if it is technically not allowed for acidic persons like me teehee), I'm striving to defend the position that it was not merely the chocolates that did this. So, lessons learned:

1. Seafood Chowder soup, 1 slice of really thin crust pizza is NOT an ideal dinner. However delicious or fancy the restaurant might be.
2. #1 + Choco Java Ice Cream is not a good mix. 
3. Late breakfast in the morning after eating #1&2 the night before is a dead-ringer for hyperacidic attacks.

So there. Lessons learned. As I am still recovering, I shall strive not to look at the chocolate shelf in the fridge, and shall eat good food in the couple of days to come.

Blast from the Friggin' Past

Blasts from the pasts and reminiscing moments always conjure up twilight-zoney feelings for me. They produce a surreal effect that I sometimes don't know if I want to dwell on it or not. I guess it depends on what aspect of the "past" we are talking about.

I had one such moment this afternoon. An auto-email to my Yahoo! inbox told me I had a comment on my blog. No not this blog, my Friendster Blog. A 2005 entry. Of course I knew it was spam, but I suddenly remembered, oh yeah, I was blogging that long ago! I think I transferred my friendster blogs to this site back in 2008 but I'm not sure if I transferred all. 


So then I decided to read the entry, and lo and behold! There was a picture of me and my ex. Hahaha! I couldn't resist reading the rest of the entry and the twilight-zoney feeling came over me.... I was on the outside looking in.... I was looking at myself 6 years ago.... That was how I felt, that was how I looked, that was how I wrote (pretty much the same way hahaha), that was what was going on in my life at that time... It was actually fun and very interesting to read my past entries, most of which I couldn't remember writing.... Hey, I guess once I let go of my feelings through writing I put those thoughts in the back burner.

As I was reading through various dates, there was actually one paragraph in an entry that had me thinking and laughing at the same time. It went something like this:

"This is also the first and the last time I am going to mention this: to the person whom I have hurt early this year, I’m really sorry. There were decisions I had to make, and in making them I had to sacrifice our chance. Although I never regretted my decision, I am still sorry for causing pain to someone who really cared for me. Thank you for everything you did for me. Those six months are full of memories I will cherish."

Honestly, my first reaction was like, "Who the hell was I referring to?!" I was clapping my had over my mouth in confusion. I know the date of the blog and I remember under what circumstances I was writing it. So I had to backtrack and calculate. Then I realized... then I LOLed. Why? Because I guess after realizing some things, I wouldn't exactly write about that person in such a.... kind way. I was thinking, what did he do for me? But oh well, maybe I was in a softie emo phase while writing the blog so I wouldn't wanna contradict myself directly. Haha!

I really am thankful I kept those blogs. I wish Friendster won't erase them. It allowed me to take a glimpse of myself and live in my past for a while -- just a while, because I wouldn't trade my present for anything else. :)