Life Unexpected

This day was a day of unexpected happenings. Unexpected errands, unexpected events, unexpected dinner date, unexpected reasons to smile. Some created bad vibes but I'd like to focus on the good ones instead.

Spontaneity is one thing I couldn't afford, because of the people I have to answer to (a.k.a. my parents and my son). I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to experience that tonight, despite what I would have thought was a setback. It was fun to be free for a couple of hours, having ME time and shopping for myself (which I seldom do -- yes, for real) then having dinner and catching up with a dear girlfriend, reminiscing and talking about the past and the present, like two highschool girls on a slumber party. A very interesting and juicy slumber party. LOL.

Thank God for little reasons to smile at the end of the day.

Now I just have to find a way to sleep, after having a double trouble dose of caffeine courtesy of Serenitea's Chocolate Milk Tea drink.

Passion: The thin line between MAKE or BREAK

It is sometimes ironic that the very thing that could make you might also be the Achilles heel that could break you.

Passion in itself, IMO, is neither good nor bad. It is simply the presence of a strong emotion, desire, determination or drive. It is the "For what?", "With what?" and "Then what?" that determines its fate.

Passion for what? That's the premise. It could be for family and loved ones. It could be for a special someone. It could be for a certain skill, or a certain cause. It could be for a job or a dream or an ambition. With what? What do you do about it? I guess this is where the battle of good and evil starts. Do you express your passion through hard work or through cheating? (Do you work hard to cheat just to succeed?) Do you show it through caring or hurting? (Do you care so much that you would hurt another?) Classic and basic: Is is good or bad? Okay, maybe with some gray areas. Lastly, then what? Consequences. What happens next? Is it good or bad for you in the long run? Is it good or bad for the people around you? Again, classic and basic: it good or bad -- period?

The end does not always justify the means. The consequences, however good, does not cancel the wrong decisions made in order to achieve it. Sometimes things work out for the better, some for the worse. Sometimes you have to deal but all the time you have to kneel.

In the throes of fiery passion, when your heart and mind is consumed with loathing and hatred, logical thinking is quite understandably not (yet) an option. But once the flames die down and you find yourself just looking at the ashes, think -- or try to think -- if the consequences are worth it.

Passion is strong. It could make the impossible possible, the unreachable within arm's length, the dreams into reality. Passion is what drives us, what keeps us going, and what makes our lives worthwhile. However, passion for the wrong reasons do not lead to something good. Passion for the right reasons, on the other hand, however imperfect and improbable they may be, has a good chance of working out. Eventually.

Keep it in check. :)

Unpretty

"U know that time when you don't feel pretty, ur face is breaking out, whatever u wear doesn't feel comfy, ur hair has a mind of its own, and your confidence is in an all time low? This is one of those times you need a partner to assure you that you're still pretty, ur hair is fine, u look good and that most of all, you are loved." -- FB Stat Unica Ivah, October 31, 2011

And no, this has nothing to do with an ugly Halloween costume. This is unfortunately real. Bright side -- I have the "Umph" to write even at 1:41am. Down side -- this is real. Haha.

Well I guess we all go through a time when nothing feels happy-yippie-yehey. I am in one. I've been having acidic attacks all week. Me time cancelled. Face breaking out, screaming for a facial. Clothes don't feel right --too hot, too loose, too bare, too casual, too dressy etc. Hair having a lockout, just like the NBA. Confidence tipping low on the scale, together with happy juice, good vibes and positive energy probably because of things happening at the same time -- and they're not exactly good ones. The best I could do is to keep myself busy so I won't feel the funk. Well, it's actually quite effortless since I AM busy especially with major decisions that have to be made soon. The point being, despite being naturally busy, I feel the funk. Not all the time, not every second, but it pops up every time my mind tries to relax. It's this sad, anxious, heavy gut feeling I hate having, which may be the reason why nothing feels right on the outside as well.

I guess what I need, aside from a damn good time with my crazy friends, is the assurance that things are okay and that things are gonna be okay. The assurance of being pretty is primarily just a superficial representation of the need of a support system, a security blanket or an extra padlock to make me feel safe. Yup, even the woman behind the successful man need assurance from time to time too.

And, as I tweeted, it is also amazing how a simple text from an old friend can make me feel better. Just because he cared enough to say good night and let me know he read my stat. I guess you really get to appreciate those unexpected little things especially when the expected things don't happen.

Looking forward to a crazy movie date with friends (after years of not having one). Hoping I would feel "prettier" by then.