Unpretty

"U know that time when you don't feel pretty, ur face is breaking out, whatever u wear doesn't feel comfy, ur hair has a mind of its own, and your confidence is in an all time low? This is one of those times you need a partner to assure you that you're still pretty, ur hair is fine, u look good and that most of all, you are loved." -- FB Stat Unica Ivah, October 31, 2011

And no, this has nothing to do with an ugly Halloween costume. This is unfortunately real. Bright side -- I have the "Umph" to write even at 1:41am. Down side -- this is real. Haha.

Well I guess we all go through a time when nothing feels happy-yippie-yehey. I am in one. I've been having acidic attacks all week. Me time cancelled. Face breaking out, screaming for a facial. Clothes don't feel right --too hot, too loose, too bare, too casual, too dressy etc. Hair having a lockout, just like the NBA. Confidence tipping low on the scale, together with happy juice, good vibes and positive energy probably because of things happening at the same time -- and they're not exactly good ones. The best I could do is to keep myself busy so I won't feel the funk. Well, it's actually quite effortless since I AM busy especially with major decisions that have to be made soon. The point being, despite being naturally busy, I feel the funk. Not all the time, not every second, but it pops up every time my mind tries to relax. It's this sad, anxious, heavy gut feeling I hate having, which may be the reason why nothing feels right on the outside as well.

I guess what I need, aside from a damn good time with my crazy friends, is the assurance that things are okay and that things are gonna be okay. The assurance of being pretty is primarily just a superficial representation of the need of a support system, a security blanket or an extra padlock to make me feel safe. Yup, even the woman behind the successful man need assurance from time to time too.

And, as I tweeted, it is also amazing how a simple text from an old friend can make me feel better. Just because he cared enough to say good night and let me know he read my stat. I guess you really get to appreciate those unexpected little things especially when the expected things don't happen.

Looking forward to a crazy movie date with friends (after years of not having one). Hoping I would feel "prettier" by then.