Quarantined Thoughts

People say, "Sometimes, life runs you over".

I think my glitchy matrix misheard it and thought it meant "Life runs over you..." and even added "...like a 16-wheeler truck on a road rage." Coz that's sure as heck what it felt like.

Letting go of a (more or less) stable life and career to jump into a sea of uncertainties to start life again is not only mentally challenging but also physically draining. Moving out of a house and a country, stopping over your own country and moving to another country across the globe is enough to unhinge a perfectly sane person, to put it quite nicely. But it had to be done. Yep, done it, survived that.

So just when I started getting the hang of things, forming new routines, getting my academic groove back (eew), starting to enjoy having classes and getting to know my classmates....

CORONAVIRUS. COMMUNITY QUARANTINE.

Totally. Ruined. Vibe.

But I ain't complaining. I do not have the right to, because our frontliners, those in the medical field, those in the essential businesses that have to keep going to provide for our needs... They want to be home but they can't. Every damn day, they have one foot on the grave trying to serve and save people. I can only offer moral support, thoughts and lots of prayers for those risking their lives so we can stay home and live ours.

My friends think I'm okay, my professor thinks I'm funny and always eating, social media friends think I'm just having TikTok fun. What is not privy to everyone is the behind-the-scenes that very few people have backstage passes to. Let's keep it that way.

So my life is, yet again, filled with even more anxiety and uncertainty, as with everyone else's. I find myself looking at it retrospectively --
  "I'm glad I did this, I wish I could have done that..."
...and introspectively --
  "What can I do to make my life more meaningful?"

Well, I'm still figuring it out.

-xoxo-