Is there such a thing as a "Wrong Kind of Mother's Love"?

Well, is there?

I guess it's pretty obvious what brought this out. (Does the name Marlene Aguilar ring any bells, or have you been to Pluto and back that you have no idea who she is?)

We have all heard of the centuries-old adage about a mother's love being like no other, a mother's love being unconditional, a mother's love being the best kind of love anyone could hope for, and variations thereof. I dare not challenge the truth behind these words, as I, with all my heart, do believe in all that, especially since I'm soon going to be a mother myself.

But (yes, there's a but somewhere), is there a wrong kind of mother's love? And when does one draw the line between the right kind and the wrong kind?

A mother's natural instinct is to protect her child from harm. If she could only take away the pain, any pain that her beloved child is feeling, she would gladly do so. She would fight for her child no matter what the consequences are for her, she would sacrifice her time, her health, her everything just to do what is best for her child.

Then maybe that's the key. "What is best for her child". Everything she does is what she thinks is best for her child. So even if it hurts to have injections, she would allow it because it's best for her child. Even if it hurts to be reprimanded or disciplined for a wrong doing, she must enforce it because it's best for her child. Even if it hurts to stumble playing football, she allows it to happen because it's good for her child to develop athletic abilities and tolerance. Even if it hurts to be away from each other during college or later, she supports it as long as it's for her child's brighter future.

But hiding your fugitive child and misleading the authorities just so he could escape punishment for taking someone else's life, another mother's child? Is that still justifiable as "Mother's Love"? Hell no. I know that this is not unique to Ms. Aguilar. There are definitely other mothers (other parents, for that matter), in the Philippines or in other parts of the world, who allow or even orchestrate the cover-ups for their children's mistakes. I don't think there's anything wrong about these mothers' unconditional love. I think the problem is with their judgment of right and wrong.

Blinded by what they think is a mother's quest for the self-preservation of her child, coupled with a demented (and therefore selfish) reasoning of what is right or wrong, mothers like Ms. Aguilar close their eyes to the horrific wrongdoing of their child and instead focus on doing what they think is "best" for him -- shielding him from anybody who could hurt him (despite him having killed others, imagine that) and evade the law. It doesn't matter if justice is not served to the victims' families, as long as her beloved son is safe and alright. Boohoo.

The thing is, even if this has been done by other mothers, what disgusts me more this time are the hysterics. Ms. Aguilar, you are SUCH an ACTRESS. Tearfully and oh-so-softly addressing your beloved son in an interview, to surrender? Raising dramatic hell in CCP (or was it PICC?) by, again, tearfully addressing your son and declaring that you are accepting your son's fate? All the while feeling triumphant deep inside, knowing your son is sitting safely at home?

Your son was clearly showing no sign of remorse, for the previous 2004 incident (look at the file videos where he struts around in handcuffs as if he doesn't give a damn) nor for this latest incident (I don't think shooting at NBI agents is actually a sign of remorse now, is it?). It makes us wonder, what kind of mother are you? It was far less dangerous if you had encouraged your son to surrender. But obviously, the plan was to hide him and help him escape. So again, what does that make you both as a mother and as a person? Morals out the window, I guess.

Please just stop the hysterics. Be at your son's side while both of you are facing criminal charges, fine. Be there while he recuperates and while he faces the consequences of his actions. Just stop the lame drama. You are unwittingly giving the term "A Mother's Love" an unwelcome twist.

Oh, and by the way, that is not a Mother's Love, because a real Mother's Love is not a selfish love.

Baby Bump Pic

My first ever "presentable" Baby Bump Pic at 19 weeks.... I have been taking pictures of my tummy several times but of course, it feels awkward to post them anywhere in public. And I also have been looking groggy until recently -- when I got better from colds & sinusitis.

I posted this last week in my Facebook account, and I was surprised at the positive responses I got... I didn't really expect my friends to comment, but they did, and every little comment made me smile... Thank you guys!!! I guess that for some of my oldest friends, it is surreal seeing their "one-of-the-boys" classmate being pregnant and ladylike (waaat) this time... Hehehe!

I'm currently on my 20th week, which means I'm halfway there -- full term should be 40 weeks. I'm going to ask my OB/sonologist later if it is possible to determine the gender of my baby already. Jon & I can't wait to know the gender so we can start preparing.

I'm also finding it quite hard to move around now, partly because of the weight (my back kinda hurts more often) and because I feel like my tummy is stretched already and the baby is kinda "ipit".

Oh, and now I'm starting to waddle like a duck when I'm walking. I dunno why, but it just happend coz it seemed to be the most comfy way of walking. LOL. I tried walking the way I usually do, but I kinda feel uncomfy with it. *shrug*

Lots of changes, physically, emotionally, financially (sigh). But looking forward to everything, and trying to prepare as much as we can!

Til next :D

Thoughts of a First-Time Mom-to-be

Before I got pregnant, I was involved with my sister-in-law’s pregnancy. We were always with them every other week. She went on with her usual activities, still driving to and fro her office, even until her 9^th month. She ate a lot and gained weight even during her first trimester. So I thought,” I hope I won’t have a hard time with my future pregnancy, just like her”.

But I had a hard time. A really hard time. I had a threatened abortion and had to take medicines that made me acidic. I had to rest, but couldn’t lie down for a long time due to acid reflux (acidity going up my throat when I lie down). I was throwing up so regularly I was developing a personal relationship with our master toilet. I couldn’t eat a lot, because I would get bloated and acidic and throw it all up anyway. I’m supposed to relax and not get stressed, but how could I, when I even have to get up in the middle of the night to rendezvous with the toilet. And the biggest thing of all – I had to take a 1 month leave without pay, just when I need the budget for my medicines and checkups. The ironies of my condition were endless.

So in all honesty, I couldn’t feel “happy” during those times. I feel guilty when I realize that all that was in my mind were my discomforts. Of course, at the back of my head I knew a miracle was happening, a gift was given to us, but I couldn’t feel totally joyous about it – not with my mind trying to control my nausea for the most part of the day. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t sulking and questioning God why I had to get pregnant, because I did pray and wish for it. I wanted to get pregnant, I just didn’t really “feel” pregnant – I felt like someone who had acute gastroenteritis. Especially since my abdomen wasn’t showing yet.

Then I woke up one morning sometime towards my 3^rd month. I realized my tummy wasn’t aching with acidity that much. I started to feel hope that this was it, I was starting to get over the drama. But after a few days, I found myself making friends with our office toilet – so I start wondering, what the heck is going on? I thought I was over this already?

So I started to get into a funk again, about why I was still feeling all these, when I realized that, hey, didn’t I manage to sleep a bit better last night? Hey, didn’t the frequency of my nausea go down? Hey, didn’t my acidity somehow lessen? Hey, wasn’t I generally feeling better than before? I started becoming positive, seeing my improvements and thanking Papa Jesus that this was better than before. It was at this point that things started to look up.

Now in my 17^th week, though I am still not allowed to travel as I used to, and I still throw up once in a while, and I still get bloated and acidic and have recently developed an annoying after taste. But I feel happier, I have more appetite, and my tummy is showing – making me realize that a little one is really growing inside me. My officemates have been very supportive, always watching out for me and reprimanding me, understanding my absences.

But the greatest feeling of all is seeing the baby, MY baby, inside my womb, squirming and jerking and changing positions. Although the ultrasound still wasn’t able to determine the gender of our baby, the more important aspect was the fetal biometry – in layman’s terms, the baby’s vital statistics. Thank God, that despite my sensitive pregnancy, my baby’s growth is on time, right on schedule. The size of the head, the abdomen and the length are all normal for his/her age. I still haven’t felt a kick or a punch yet, it may take more weeks for that, but seeing that everything is normal gave me relief beyond measure. We really thank God for that.

I realized that seeing my baby healthy even just through ultrasound suddenly made everything I went through worthwhile… how much more when I get to meet him/her in person next year? Our worlds will probably turn upside down, the unica hija now with the unica niña who has been loved from the moment the second pink line appeared… :D

And they really HAD to make it to NY Times....but what about the others?

http://www.starmometer.com/2009/10/01/cristine-reyes-and-richard-gutierrez-make-it-to-the-new-york-times/

I'm sorry guys, I just have to react on this. I know it's hardly the time to have negative feelings about other people, but I also believe in giving credit where credit is due.

So lemme make this short.

I agree that stars saving other stars is worth media coverage -- especially since it makes everyone realize that in calamities like these, there are no rich, poor, popular celebrities nor D-list wannabes. Everyone is equal in times of danger and crisis.

However, I also firmly believe that stars saving ordinary people are all the more newsworthy. Popular actors almost unrecognizable with the waters reaching up their mouths, hollering to their neighbors to check if they are ok, braving flood waters without motored transport, saving people and animals alike, tying ropes as make shift anchors lest they be carried away by the current... I think they all the more deserve appreciation.

So, ok, the more popular make it to New York Times... How I wish they included the more heroic too...


God bless us all, and may we continue the spirit of compassion and sharing amongst us...

Infanticipating

July 14: Wondering, "Where'd my period go? I already had spotting, didn't I? Where is it now?"

July 17: Staring intently at the home pregnancy test, "Do I see a second line? Is that a second line? I think it is a second line! OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD!"

July 22: First TransV Ultrasound. Sonologist: "You're around 5 wks pregnant, but see this spot here? That's not supposed to be there. That's blood inside your uterus. There's minimal subchorionic hemorrhage -- this is a sign of miscarriage. I suggest you go back to your OB immediately, she might recommend you to rest."

And the next 4 weeks were therefore spent at home -- coupled with increased hyperacidity, flatulence, nausea and actual throwing up.

Morning sickness proved to be an All Day sickness, necessitating frequent bouts with the Master Toilet. Never in my life have I had a closer relationship with a ceramic bowl until this. All medications stopped, hoping to tame the nausea and hyperacidity. TUMS and Kremil only serving to neutralize the top layer of acidity.

But the one silver lining amidst this ordeal is hearing my baby's heartbeat through the doppler -- a confirmation that yes, a little one is growing in my tummy!

Krispy Kreme Drive Thru!

Yesss. Krispy Kreme drive thru. Jemmi's idea. Didn't believe it until I saw it. It was my first time to drive thru a doughnut shop!

Here's the entrance that says Drive Thru :D


And here's the drink selection, and the doughnuts by the dozens

And here's the doughnut selection. My personal favorite is Hershey's special dark chocolate. I bought New York Cheesecake for my hubby :)


Cool huh!

The only un-cool thing was the car before us changed their orders several times -- to the point that they actually gave back 2 of the 3 boxes they already had... jeez... in fact, one passenger actually got out of the car and transacted in the window, making it look like a sari-sari store. Excuse me, drive thru nga eh! :D Ocge na nga, at least I got my dark chocolate doughnut, and Jemmi had her chocolate covered chocolate cake or something like that (that I finished for her... yummy!!!)

Save or Splurge? Cosmetics 101 (Part III of III)

Foundation = Splurge! The best beauty brands are the ones that offer foundation in a variety of non-irritating shades that suit every woman's natural skintone.

Concealer = Splurge! Unfortunately, those cheap concealers don't cover your flaws as naturally as the expensive ones.

Powder = Save and splurge! For daily wear, you'll do fine with cheap grocery face powders, but for special events, you need to use long lasting powders offered by more pricey brands.

Source: Belle de Jour Power Planer 2009