Friday, January 22, 2010

Is there such a thing as a "Wrong Kind of Mother's Love"?

Well, is there?

I guess it's pretty obvious what brought this out. (Does the name Marlene Aguilar ring any bells, or have you been to Pluto and back that you have no idea who she is?)

We have all heard of the centuries-old adage about a mother's love being like no other, a mother's love being unconditional, a mother's love being the best kind of love anyone could hope for, and variations thereof. I dare not challenge the truth behind these words, as I, with all my heart, do believe in all that, especially since I'm soon going to be a mother myself.

But (yes, there's a but somewhere), is there a wrong kind of mother's love? And when does one draw the line between the right kind and the wrong kind?

A mother's natural instinct is to protect her child from harm. If she could only take away the pain, any pain that her beloved child is feeling, she would gladly do so. She would fight for her child no matter what the consequences are for her, she would sacrifice her time, her health, her everything just to do what is best for her child.

Then maybe that's the key. "What is best for her child". Everything she does is what she thinks is best for her child. So even if it hurts to have injections, she would allow it because it's best for her child. Even if it hurts to be reprimanded or disciplined for a wrong doing, she must enforce it because it's best for her child. Even if it hurts to stumble playing football, she allows it to happen because it's good for her child to develop athletic abilities and tolerance. Even if it hurts to be away from each other during college or later, she supports it as long as it's for her child's brighter future.

But hiding your fugitive child and misleading the authorities just so he could escape punishment for taking someone else's life, another mother's child? Is that still justifiable as "Mother's Love"? Hell no. I know that this is not unique to Ms. Aguilar. There are definitely other mothers (other parents, for that matter), in the Philippines or in other parts of the world, who allow or even orchestrate the cover-ups for their children's mistakes. I don't think there's anything wrong about these mothers' unconditional love. I think the problem is with their judgment of right and wrong.

Blinded by what they think is a mother's quest for the self-preservation of her child, coupled with a demented (and therefore selfish) reasoning of what is right or wrong, mothers like Ms. Aguilar close their eyes to the horrific wrongdoing of their child and instead focus on doing what they think is "best" for him -- shielding him from anybody who could hurt him (despite him having killed others, imagine that) and evade the law. It doesn't matter if justice is not served to the victims' families, as long as her beloved son is safe and alright. Boohoo.

The thing is, even if this has been done by other mothers, what disgusts me more this time are the hysterics. Ms. Aguilar, you are SUCH an ACTRESS. Tearfully and oh-so-softly addressing your beloved son in an interview, to surrender? Raising dramatic hell in CCP (or was it PICC?) by, again, tearfully addressing your son and declaring that you are accepting your son's fate? All the while feeling triumphant deep inside, knowing your son is sitting safely at home?

Your son was clearly showing no sign of remorse, for the previous 2004 incident (look at the file videos where he struts around in handcuffs as if he doesn't give a damn) nor for this latest incident (I don't think shooting at NBI agents is actually a sign of remorse now, is it?). It makes us wonder, what kind of mother are you? It was far less dangerous if you had encouraged your son to surrender. But obviously, the plan was to hide him and help him escape. So again, what does that make you both as a mother and as a person? Morals out the window, I guess.

Please just stop the hysterics. Be at your son's side while both of you are facing criminal charges, fine. Be there while he recuperates and while he faces the consequences of his actions. Just stop the lame drama. You are unwittingly giving the term "A Mother's Love" an unwelcome twist.

Oh, and by the way, that is not a Mother's Love, because a real Mother's Love is not a selfish love.