Fit n' Right ba un? Akala ko Eat n' Write

Yan. Yan ang sagot ng butihin kong future husbandry nung sinabi kong sabayan nya ung nag-eexercise sa Fit n' Right challenge sa channel 2.


"Ah, Fit n' Right ba un? Akala ko Eat (gestures) n' Write (gestures)" Hahaha!


But seriously, I know I have to start exercising. Pano ba nmn, nagpasukat na ako ng gown na pang-abay sa kasal ni Meenah. So ibig sabihin, hindi nako pwede tumaba. Todo na ung vital stats na kinuha sakin. Pero kahit dalawang mabibigat na rason na ang andyan pra mag-diet at mag-exercise ako, hindi ko pa rin mashadong magawa (ano kamo ung 2 rason? 1. kasal ni meenah. 2. kasal ko. hahaha!)


Yes, nagbabawas nako ng rice. Bread ang inuupakan ng lola nyoh. Kya lng, dapat wheat or organic chuva, or else makakaubos ako ng 1 loaf bago mabusog. So gudluck sa pagbili ng kakaibang tinapay dba. Mahilig ako sa pan-de-sal, pero, like I said, makakaubos ako ng mga 10 piraso bago mabusog. Haaaay.


Pero more than a diet, kelangan ko mag-exercise. Pero bakit hindi ko magawa? I guess I'm writing this blog to force myself to answer that question.


"Bakit mo nga nmn tlga hindi magawa, Eva?"


Aha. Alam ko na.

1. Computer/Internet


2. Janet Evanovich


3. Trabaho

Yan pa lng, wala na nga tlgang pagkakataon na mag-exercise ako. Parang gusto ko magpa-member sa isang gym. Ung monthly membership lng ha, kasi mas nakakatamad pag yearly membership or lifetime membership (iisipin ko, madami akong panahon bawiin ung binayad ko so ok lng kng hindi muna ako makaka-exercise). Pero wala akong pera (nag-iipon kuno) at wala akong time (nagttrabaho kuno). Hay nako. Ang dami kong dahilan.


I know it takes discipline tlga. Kahit gaano kadaming HipHop Abs DVD ang bilhin ko, kng hindi ko nmn susundan un, wala din tlga mangyayari.


Although.... may naiisip akong medyo magandang motivation para sakin... Isipin ko nlng, gusto ko mag 2-piece pag nagbeach ako this summer. Kaya kelangan, magka abs ako. Eh isang malaking "ab" lng cya eh, tsktsk... hindi pala dapat ganun.


I need to exercise. But I always say that -- I rarely do it. Sana masimulan ko na! Daig pa ako ng aso, nakakapag treadmill.

Mahiya nmn ako dba?

New Year, New Profile, New Me?

(This was originally posted in my Multiply and Friendster blogs dated Jan 11, '08 )

I changed my friendster and multiply profile. New year, new profile, new me? I guess so. I think the change in profile is symbolic, because it also shows the changes in me since the past years. I changed almost the whole profile- - however some small details remained the same -- just like what I went through. The change in me last year was so drastic (from stupid martyr last 2006 to pampered princess last 2007 to bridezilla this 2008) yet, there are still things that did not change.

I noticed my change in tastes. I no longer like some of the stuff i used to (gothic stuff etc). I grudgingly admit I'm slowly turning into a girl, my interests transforming from rugged to sexy. I'm forced to mature and primp myself up for my beloved, lest he leave me hahaha! Kidding. But my interest in bags, shoes and tops increased alarmingly. I found myself wanting to learn how to do the "smokey eyes" (i'll be damned haha!) and the unruly curly look (which I achieved last Noche Buena, see my profile pix). I also became a fan of the "out of bed" look (which I also achieved last Noche Buena, when my unruly curls got limp already haha! See my profile pix). I chopped off a part of my bangs to try to achieve the "angled bangs" look, whick sometimes works -- on a good hair day. Otherwise, my officemates ask me,

"Bakit parang ang gulo-gulo ng buhok mo?"
To which I retort,"Hmmp! Style yan!"

Yep, the boy is turning into a lady. Hahaha!

Seriously, the change in me is more than superficial. In fact, changing my looks usually signifies an internal change. I usually change something about the way I look when I resolve to change / move on / improve something. I feel like a change in the outside completes my change on the inside. Ever since I got engaged, my priorities, goals and dreams have changed. I have learned a lot, but I still have to learn a lot, pun intended. Planning for something that is life-changing suddenly forces you to grow up and it molds you into someone more mature, practical and decisive. It makes you organized, responsible and firm. You have to know what you want. If you don't, you have to learn to know what you want... and eventually get it. Yep, that's how it's gonna be -- for me, at least.

I'm looking forward to the year ahead of me. It will be crazy and exhausting, stressful but fun. I'll be making lots of discoveries about myself and my beloved, and the people around me. I would be meeting different people, dealing, trusting and hoping they don't frustrate the crap out of me. I hope to strengthen my faith as I'll be lifting everything to God, hoping to be reminded that if things don't go as planned, He has a reason for it. And most of all, I look forward to starting a whole new life with the man that I know God has intended for me -- because it's meant to be when He means it to be.

Coffee & Love

(Originally posted in my Friendster and Multiply blogs dated Nov 13, '07 )

I'm not a coffee fanatic and I always go for non-caffeine drinks but I love spending time in coffee shops, chatting with friends, gossiping about other people (with my soul-burning partner Jen R. haha) or just reading a book. Heck, I worked in the E-banking hub INSIDE Starbucks Chinabank for several months, so I've learned to inhale the aroma of roasted beans for hours at a time.
I've also spent countless dates in coffee shops with the men who became part of my life (some, regrettably) and have spent hours talking about anything, sometimes alluding to a future together. There was always the same scene in every relationship: "cozy coffee shop, lazy afternoon, having "our future" talks over hot or cold drinks". But those relationships ended up the same way -- vamoose! Yep. Deja Vu.

However, last Saturday's Starbucks trip in Greenbelt 3 with my fiance proved to be different. This wasn't just another "cozy coffee shop, lazy weekend afternoon, and 'our future' talks over drinks" (and cinnamon roll) kinda thing. This time, our future was as clear as the bakery case beside the counter. We had a future, and the man sitting across the table from us is going to document it. His name is Buddy.

Buddy Gancenia, a Reality Wedding Videographer, is going to make sure i have something to bitch-slap myself with if ever I start having an early mid-life crisis.
I think I just sealed my future -- amidst coffee and love.

OTY and making my ex pay-up...

(Originally posted in my Friendster and Multiply blog dated Sep 11, '07 )

Yup, that's me... now. Have to wait for my fiance to finish up his work, so I get to take pictures of myself and update my Multiply. Hmm. Not bad for not having overtime pay. (Hey, if I had overtime pay, I would be working.Haha.)

Well, to update those who read my previous entry, my ex is paying-up -- oh so slowly. As in big-heavyweight-turtle slowly... And sometimes, he does not. He needs reminding everytime, like now he still hasn't paid for August. I reminded him angrily through text already. Well, I guess I just have to keep on stressin myself until I get my money back. At least, he's paying. I'm really avoiding getting his mom involved again -- for his mom's sake, not for his. Just thinking about it gets me all worked up and mad at him for the nth time. Jeez. You know I used to say I didn't regret anything that I did because if not for it, I wouldn't be who I am now? Well guess what, now I found something I utterly regret. I regret giving him that much. I realized I could still be who I am now without having to shell out that much. But since all is said and done, I'm facing the consequences and making reparations and getting back what I had. Do I sound so vengeful? Maybe I am. Because everytime I turn to my bank account and find insufficient funds, I am reminded that I am in such detrimental situation because of a good-for-nothing bastard. Sana man lng it was for a good cause. But no.

Of course I have moved on with my life and I have no bitterness about our relationship before (i don't regret having a relationship with a user din nmn, just the fact that I allowed myself to be used that much). I don't even have any bitterness about his relationship with his gf now that could have been a 3rd party, I don't really have to know. Ang kinaiinis ko, there were lots of times I needed my money for medical reasons and to help our my parents pero I couldn't give any -- because of him. And now I couldn't immediately pay some wedding suppliers because of him pa rin. Hanggan ngayon ba nmn, inconvenience pa rin cya sa buhay ko?

how do u make an ex pay up?

(This was originally posted in my Friendster and Multiply blog dated Aug 2, '07 )

In the midst of documenting project functions and features, I simply decided to write a blog.I know I seem to have fallen off the planet and disappeard for quite some time (i've done this before... now i seem to have done it again). It's because of limited internet access (i'm client based so i don't have "powers" to demand/bribe/blackmail network guys to unblock friendster hmph!) and going home late (i'd rather sleep than surf).

however, due to my innate stubborness to try something i know is not allowed, i tried to access multiply... lo and behold! it has somehow escaped the eyes of the untouchable network people -- for now. ha!

Lemme ask a question. how do you deal with an ex who owes you money? I'm talkin' about a five-digit-debt, not just a couple of thousand, and it's a legitimate debt. He's supposed to pay every payday but he can't even do the d*mn thing...how do you do this? Any suggestions? I would like to know what you think, kindly reply to this blog, post your thoughts, even if i don't know you (say you're a friend of the sister of my classmate) i don't mind, i just need insights on how to handle this... I've been texting him to pay up, and it's either he doesn't have the guts to reply or his girlfriend has his phone... either way, he should be a man and face his responsibilities, right? he eventually does... around half-a-month late.

so.. whatchathink?

Someday, someone's gonna take your place...

(This was originally posted in my friendster blog dated March 26, 2007 at 10:33 PM)


“Move on.” 2 short words but (one of the) hardest things to do.

“Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, i want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see, i won't even miss you
Someday, someday”

I know the pains of break-ups. Needless to say, I have been through it a number of times, and it is never easy, nor is it painless, especially if we were the ones left behind – after we gave them everything. The memories will always be there, the loneliness is persistent, the hurt and the pain still stings. Everything has changed and the world is falling apart, crumbling down in its cruel glory. I know. It was a familiar feeling not too long ago.

So then, what will happen to us? The world does not revolve around us; nor would it stop spinning to mourn with us. Thus, the two hardest words: “Move on.”

Oh, and probably the 2nd hardest word? “Acceptance.”

What could I do? I couldn’t die. I didn’t want to lie in a vegetative state forever. So I had to change my frame of mind. I had to prove to myself and to everyone around me that I can recover. I had to do things FOR ME, and not for him or whoever. Because this time, I knew I deserved to think of MYSELF.

So then I told myself: Go out, have fun, go on dates. There is a whole new world out there. Go to the GYM. Not only would you look good, you will also meet new people, and new possibilities.
Have pride, have dignity. Do not run after whoever, especially if that person was the one who chose to leave. Because the mere fact that the person chose to end the relationship already meant that something is already wrong with it. If the person grudgingly consented to reconcile with you, can you honestly live with the thought that he might be merely forced to do it out of pity? I can NOT handle that. The thought alone gives me more determination to move the hell on.

Here's a fact. Whether we like it or not, what happens to us emotionally after the breakup is NO LONGER the fault of the other person. Unless, of course, he rubs it in your face on purpose. Otherwise, if we find out about his post-breakup happiness or problems because of our own efforts (checking out his friendster/myspace/multiply/YM or making contact with the person or asking his friends about him etc) then WE ARE TO BLAME if we feel hurt all over again. Why? Because it is ultimately OUR CHOICE: either make ourselves suffer or not. I’m guilty of all these, because I have been through it and I have learned from it. I’m not saying that the other person is faultless even if he did something wrong – but we are talking about how to move on here, and the point is not to hold grudges, and not to hold on at all.

Do it for yourself. Let go. Believe me, it’s easier, with less torment and humiliation. Have pride, have dignity. Chin up, face the world. We may be hurting inside, but our determination to feel good about ourselves will eventually get the better of us. And sooner or later, we will feel good.
Remember: How we feel right now (because of our own doing) is our own fault.

Do you want to be happy?
Then do something about it.
Learn to let go.

(This is dedicated to my friends who are going through this now, especially Arlene. Sis, I love you, and I hate seeing you like that. Unfortunately, only you can pick yourself up. I hope you do, the soonest possible time.)

Hongkong Aftermath: Back to Reality

(This was orginally posted in my friendster blog dated March 16, 2007 at 12:02 AM)


Well, we're back in Manila, and back to the reality that bites. It has already dawned into me that i again have to work to recover what i spent...
The experience was rewarding, the place was English-friendly -- all the signs always had english translations (Thank God for British rule). If you go there, go there for Disneyland and Ocean Park, because shopping is not the main attraction anymore. you can hardly buy anything there that's not already here. Being involved in the bazaar business, i basically know the products in bazaars in Manila, and there is almost no difference with the Ladies' Night Market there and the night markets here. Actually, sometimes it's even more expensive in HK. however, when the boutiques in HK have a sale, it really is a SALE. You get good deals.
But more than that, at least i got to do what i've been wanting to do since i learned how to spell "HongKong" -- actually go there. This was the longest vacation i had since i started working and i was able to give myself a long overdue break from reality. I think that 280-feet drop aboard that darned roller coaster (Mine Train) shook the neurons out of my brain and left me temporarily disoriented -- it made me forget about almost everything.
So then, snapping out of my reverie, i'm back home. Almost immediately, i started thinking of the bills i had to pay, the work i had to do, the meeting i had to coordinate. however, it felt good being home, giving pasalubong to my parents and loved ones. But most of all, it felt good to be back in the arms of the one i love, to see him patiently waiting for me at the airport even if my flight arrived at midnight. This is the reality i want to wake up to everyday.
Thanks G-ann for being Mother Hen and leading this trip (kahit naligaw tau hehe).
Thanks Jemmi for being my shopping partner (with matching shoes for our Dads).
Thanks Ivan for carrying my purple backpack (plus Grace's big and bulky pasalubong hehe).
And thanks jon, for picking me up from the airport at midnight despite the early office day the next day.

Once in a Lifetime

(This was originally posted in my friendster blog dated February 26, 2007 at 02:13 AM)


I'm about to go on a vacation i so rightly deserve. I know I have to enjoy and cherish every waking moment coz i'm counting years till i can do this again. However, I think the next time will be sweeter because I might already be married then. =)
However, I wonder, are vacations really advisable? Going on a vacation allows me to escape from the reality that bites me (until God knows when) -- for a few days max. But when the plane lands back on Philippines soil... its a rough landing back to reality as well. The problems. The bites. The far-fetched solutions. So if I know i would end up in the same sh!t, why even bother trying to disillusion myself for a few days?
Well, primarily it's because everybody deserves a break from the drama. We deserve to reap the fruits of our hard labor (even if my fruits are unfortunately not with me). We deserve to enjoy. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die. Or so they say.
One good thing about coming back home from this trip is that (aside from the fact that I could be with my loved ones again) my beloved and I have important things to discuss about our future. Hmm.. almost makes me want to go back home even before leaving. =)
For the meantime, I do hope I'd enjoy this one. This one's for me, for a change.

What goes up must come down

(This was originally posted in my friendster blog dated February 05, 2007 at 01:18 AM)


Karma. Reality. (Due to the drastic turn of events, i have decided to edit the original content of this blog. ) We all suffer the consequences of our actions. A few minutes ago I was faced with the reality that there are things that we have no control over. It rains and pours for some people -- both good and bad. Karma? Probably. What goes around comes around. But there is no denying the fact that sh!t happens in our lives -- and for some, maybe all the time. I recognize the sudden turn of events in someone's life. Things suddenly spun out of control. I wish there was something I could do to help -- but all i could do is to offer a sympathetic ear. I don't have any control over whatever is happening, especially since I'm not even supposed to exist. Maybe my purpose in this person't life is to be the breathing ground -- an opportunity to let all the emotions out -- while hiding in the background. Reality. It does bite. I embrace the reality that such things do happen. Again, sh!t happens. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. True. When you wake up still breathing even if everything around you seems to be bent on working for your early demise (read: death), then you're not dead, even if you wish you were. You're supposed to be stronger. And only you can make yourself stronger. Amidst the terror of going down, there is always a force more powerful than ourselves. A force that dominates everything around us. The same force could pluck us out of the depths we're in. Some may call it whatever they want to. I call it God. There is always HIM.

Kapag Tumibok ang Puso...

(This blog was originally posted on my friendster blog, dated June 09, 2006 at 10:42 PM)


Alam kong nakakahimatay sa kabaduyan ang title ko. Pero kung iisipin natin, tama nmn ang sinasabi ng kanta.
"Kapag tumibok ang puso, wala ka nang magagawa kundi sundin ito."
diba? diba?
Pero cyempre aandar nnmn ang head over heart chuvanels natin. Oo na, sometimes nga nmn tlga we do think first before feeling. Andyan na ako. Pero magpakatotoo nmn tayo at aminin natin na minsan, gusto din nmn natin magpadala sa bugso ng damdamin. Ika nga nila, everybody wants to be swept off their feet at one time. Gusto natin lahat maranasan un. Pero cyempre, lahat may risk. Especially for people like me na mahilig mag-analyze ng situations, naisip ko, for me to be able to be swept off my feet, i would have to let my guard down and allow myself to feel. Eh kagagaling ko nga lng sa isang di kanais-nais na breakup (meron bang kanais-nais na gnun? wala nga nmn) kya parang cynical pa ako. Hindi ako madaling maniwala at lahat ng early warning devices sa isip ko ay on full alert. Kaya pano pa kaya ako makakaranas ng pagiging "swept off my feet?"
Alam ko madaming makakarelate sa sinabi ko. Madaming babae ang may hindi magandang experience sa relationships. Alam kong #1 jan ang pagtataksil. Enough said. Cguro #2 nlng ung different priorities, tipong barkada over girlfriends, or work over girlfriends (pro kng sa work ay may nilalandi na cya na ofcmate eh balik tyo sa #1). And the list goes on... So given na hindi maganda ang naranasan natin, pero hindi ibig sabihin na dapat i-deprive na natin ang ating sarili diba? Mga amiga, lagi nating tatandaan: We deserve to be happy. Eh kng ung mga ex natin na nagtaksil nasasabihan na they deserve to be happy, eh tayo pa kayang walang ginagawang masama diba?
We deserve to be happy.
If this entails having to let our guard down, well, pagbigyan natin. Siyempre, kelangan muna paganahin ang mga @sshole-radar natin, at kng nakita naman natin na hindi naman tayo ginagago ng tao at kng gusto naman natin cya pero takot lng tayo, subukan natin unti-untiin... Baby steps... Learn to enjoy, and try natin wag balik-balikan ang nakaraan... We have to give ourselves a chance...
Bakit ko sinusulat to? Gusto ko lng i-share, kasi I gave myself another chance (for the nth time haha)... Natutuwa lng ako kasi na-realize ko na kung hindi ko pa binigyan ng chance ang sarili ko to feel, or to love someone again, hindi ko cguro nararanasan itong feeling ko ngayon, being taken care of like a princess...
Kapag tumibok ang puso... oo sundin mo ito... pero magtitira ka pa rin para sa sarili mo... pra kung may pagkakamali man sa paglipas ng panahon, may lakas ka pa para muli cyang patibukin... para sa tamang tao...